


A Promise To You and The Universe

by NessaPhoenix



Series: A Game With Many Ends [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Timelines, Alternate Universe - Apocalypse, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Angst, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Bisexual Tony Stark, Canon Divergence - Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Civil War Fix-It, Depression, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Needs A Hug, First Kiss, Fix-It, Fluff and Angst, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort, Infinity Gems, Jealous Steve Rogers, M/M, Mutual Pining, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Not Beta Read, Not Canon Compliant, Oblivious Tony Stark, POV Steve Rogers, Post-Civil War (Marvel), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Steve Rogers, Self-Hatred, Slow Burn, Steve Rogers Feels, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, Superfamily (Marvel), Thanos (Marvel) Dies, Time Travel, Time Travel Fix-It, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-01
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-02-10 15:48:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 43,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18663436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NessaPhoenix/pseuds/NessaPhoenix
Summary: AVENGERS: ENDGAME SPOILERS!"I needed you". Tony had said. "We lost and you weren't there". With every word Tony said a new wound opened in his heart. Tony was right. He was a liar. He had promise many things, but threw them all out of the window as soon as he could. How do you say sorry to the man you love? To the world, to the universe you damned. Just how do you fix everything that you broke? Tony was the mechanic, Steve was just a soldier.Almost three years ago, Steve Rogers made a promise. To Tony, to the Avengers, to the world. Then came the troubles and he was force to break that promise, then came Thanos, but now that Tony is back, now that his family needs him, he's going to do whatever it takes to fix what he broke, stand by that promise and bring war on Thanos until everyone he loves is back with them. And this time, this time, they're going to do it TOGETHER."Some people move on but not us. Not us."---- A different take on Avengers: Endgame that was born after marathoning the MCU before watching Endgame ----





	1. The Call

**Author's Note:**

> ENDGAME SPOILERS!!!!!
> 
> Okay, I can probably say that I'm not the only one who has a love/hate relationship with this movie, right? Endgame was good in some parts but bad in other ones and honestly if the Russos, M&M and Feige don't want us to fix this, then they shouldn't have given us so many ways to fix it.
> 
> READ BEFORE YOU START THE STORY. I gotta say, I loved Morgan but she's not going to be in this story, why? Because the 5 years time skip feels so cruel. As someone who has seen a kid who was in a car crash and woke up 3 weeks later only to find out that his mother and brother were gone, who saw him wake up to a world that was already moving on from something that for him happened 5 minutes ago. I can't do that, I won't make the 5 year time skip, it feels very cruel to everyone involved and besides, you gonna tell me that in five holy years a rat or some other animal didn't let Scott out! Those animals invade abandoned places in mere weeks, man. Also I never really liked Tony and Pepper, I always felt like Tony needed someone who could understand that he and Iron Man were the same, someone who could understand him, who let him go free and wild, who supported him, who loved every side of him, someone who helped with his PTSD and anxiety and honestly I don't really think Pepper is that person. I'm not sure Steve is either. I never really shipped MCU Stony 100%. I understand AA Stony, 616 Stony or 1872 Stony but never MCU, sure they had their moments but then, then I saw Endgame and was like, oh I see it, hence this story was born. Also, Morgan felt like a miracle baby, like can Pepper and Tony really have kids after the poisoning from IM2 and the Extremist from IM3? Were the Russos just jumping the shark? Is Marvel really that cruel, build the Stark-Potts a happy life just to tear it apart at the end? That's something Marvel never understands, we fans pick a book/movie/tv show not for the realistic scene of it, we pick that up to escape from the real, shitty world we live in. If we wanted something realistic we'll just watch the news, thank you very much.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve gets a call he has been waiting for two years. But it might not be the voice or news he's expecting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story starts in IW and will continue towards Endgame. So watch out for spoilers.
> 
> No beta read, so all mistakes are mine. Tell me in the comments if you see any mistakes. English is not my first language so help me out a little.
> 
> Ask me anything in the comments or @tonidanvers in tumblr.
> 
> Enjoy!

 

 

 

> _Why is it the smallest things that tear us down? My world's nothing when you're gone. I'm out here without a shield, can't go back now._
> 
> _- **[Battlefield by Jordin Sparks](https://youtu.be/suPlYwJ3YvM)**_
> 
> * * *
> 
>  

The Apocalypse started on a beautiful day.

If Steve thinks about it, really thinks about it. He'll tell you that it was very cruel. There should have been a warning, something that told them: This is the day the world ends.

Maybe, just maybe. If the sky had turned dark, or fire or ice had rained from the skies. If the streets had been full of water. Steve would have been prepared for this, but no. The day had been beautiful. A sunny and beautiful Spring day.

How cruel? How unfair it was that the last day would be beautiful? The day half of the universe would die, it would die happy, with no warning.

Was it cruelness or was it mercy?

A quick and quiet death. No hellfire, no freezing storms or dirty water. No dark skies. Just peace.

Steve knew that most of those ideas had come from movies and books, ideas of old. Steve knew better, should have known better, but it still took him by surprise.

* * *

_**Day One** _

It had become a habit for Steve to wake up and check his phone immediately, the sigh that followed after realizing that there were no missed calls or texts was both reliable and resigned.

How many times had Steve woken up in a sweat, shaking from the cold? Because he dreamt that Tony had called, that Tony needed him, and he didn't answer.

How many times had Steve dreamt that he had lost the phone? Or that he had broken it somehow? But the worse ones yet, had been the ones where Tony called him but he had been too far away and couldn't reach him in time.

 _Too little, too late, Rogers_.

Those beautiful brown eyes would accused him. Those beautiful brown eyes that were now empty, with no more life or passion in them. Those beautiful brown eyes that would not look at him again. Never, never again _._

 _Oh God_ , Steve would scream in his dreams, _Oh God, please no. Don't take him away from me! Tony don't go! Please, please, please. Come back, Tony!_

Steve woke up in a sweat, it had just been a dream. Only a dream. It wasn't the first time he had them, almost every night he dreamed of Tony. Sometimes he dreamed about before, when they were friends. When Tony smiled at him in a mischievous way, when they bantered and maybe even flirted a little.

Sometimes, it was about Siberia. But most nights, is about Tony dying. Sometimes, Steve killed him and sometimes Bucky killed Tony. Sometimes it had been Tony who fell from the sky instead of Rhodey or Wanda hitted him with the cars when he didn't had the armor on.

Sometimes, a mission had gone wrong. And sometimes, the Hulk or Thor didn't stop Tony's fall in time back in 2012. And sometimes, and this ones were the ones Steve hated the most. Sometimes, Steve would come back to Siberia only to find out that Tony had frozen to death, brown eyes staring blankly at him. Steve shivered.

Steve remembers the cold and he doesn't wish that on anyone, least of all Tony. But this time it had been the one that every time he had it, it let Steve on the verge of tears. Sometimes, he dreamed about Tony still having the Arc Reactor in his chest when Steve slammed his shield on it. Tony always died so slow and painfully on those nightmares. Those dreams had been more frequent now that they had noticed that Tony had the Reactor back. 

 _It might be nothing, Steve. Maybe it's just an update to his suits. Nanotech, maybe._ Natasha had said when she noticed Steve's expression after they found the first picture.

It had been of Tony, coming out of a diner in Queens. Tony's left arm was around the shoulders of a brown-eyed, brown-haired kid.  _Peter Parker._ Natasha told him about the kid, the first time Steve asked about him. Just a couple of months after the Civil War.  _He's Stark Industries first High School age intern. According to the media, the kid is a genius and Tony's personal intern. The kid said he met Tony in 2011, at the Stark Expo. Weird, Tony never mentioned meeting a kid._

Steve knew that Tony and Natasha shared a history. A history older than the Avengers, a history that none of them were a part of. Only Fury and Coulson knew about it and they never shared the story.

Steve knew this, but still every time Nat talked about it, Steve couldn't help the little pang of jealousy that came with the mention. He still remembers how Tony had been the first one, besides Clint, to call Natasha - _Nat._  Or how Natasha called Tony - _Shellhead,_ with such a fond look on her face and how Tony's face lit up with the nickname.

 _She might have met him first, but his life and yours had been tied together since the 40s._ Sam told him once after Natasha and Wanda had gone to their room. It was true, Steve's life had been tied to Tony's since before he was Captain America, back when he was still a scrawny sickly little thing.

Speaking about Sam. Steve turned to look at the next bed and sure enough, Sam was still sound sleep. Steve gathered his clothes and went to the bathroom, he needed to go for a run. He really needed to clear his mind of all those horrible dreams.

* * *

When he came back from his run, he found Sam already showered and ready for the day and Natasha sitting at the little table in their motel room. There were three cups of coffee and boxes full of pancakes and fruit in front of her.

He wished them a good morning and started to eat. Natasha had brought him blueberry pancakes. Steve smiled sadly, those were Tony's favorite.

Breakfast was quiet until Sam asked Nat when Wanda would be back from her trip, so they could leave this town. People didn't seem to recognize them here. Not with Nat as a blonde and Wanda as a redhead and Steve with his beard and dark hair. Sam only shrugged and said that black people always looked the same to everyone else, Nat and Steve disagreed, but Sam only smiled.

Wanda had been gone for two weeks now, she was with Vision in Scotland. Steve was pretty sure that Tony knew where Vision was and who he was with, but did nothing about it. Tony's heart might be damage, but it sure as hell was big. 

"Maybe today or tomorrow," Nat said after taking a drink from her coffee. "She said she'll call me as soon as Vision leaves so we can pick her up."

They knew that Wanda and Vision had been seeing each other for two years now, but so far they hadn't seen or talked to Vision. Only Wanda had seen and talked with him. Steve didn't want to know what else they did in their secret meetings.

The rest of the morning passed quietly, they were looking for a new town or city that needed their help. They had come to this one because someone had been selling experimental drugs to kids. Before they got here two kids had already died, one was in a coma and three had been hospitalised.

The town before that had been a rouge mutant, Natasha sent him straight to Charles Xavier after they found out that he just got his powers and was scared of them. Powers tied to emotions were always a tricky thing.

They seemed to had found their next town and Avenging job when Steve's stomach started to complain. Sam laughed and offered to go buy them some lunch.

Steve had asked for cheeseburgers. They had become one of Steve's favorite food after a solo mission he and Tony had a few years ago, back before Ultron. Tony had taken him to a diner and ordered a bunch of cheeseburgers. They ate and laughed until their faces hurt and their bellies were full.

Nat took the opportunity to watch the News, she liked to keep track of things around the world. Especially New York. That's how they found out about Tony and Pepper's engagement.

Steve's heart still hurts when he remembers the announcement. Nobody knew when they had become a couple again. Steve still remembers the little spark of hope he had felt back during the Civil War when Tony told him that he and Pepper were on a break. They were more on breaks than together since Steve met them.

Steve knew why. Pepper didn't like Iron Man. She didn't understand this life, who Tony is. She doesn't understand that Tony and Iron Man are the same person, you can't have or love one while hating the other, you just can't.

Steve sighed and kept reading about their next job, while Nat watched the News quietly in the background. About twenty minutes later he heard Sam come back, as soon as Sam settle their food on the table, all hell broke loose.

His phone, the phone that for two years, for two long years had been quiet. The phone that for two years Steve had begged and prayed for ir to ring, finally, _finally_ rang.

Steve got it out of his pocket with trembling hands, out of the corner of his eye he saw Sam freeze and his eyes widen in surprise. He even heard a surprise little gasp coming from Nat.

Steve prayed and begged for it not to be a wrong number or something.  _Oh God, please let it be him._ And then after realizing why his phone was ringing prayed even harder.  _Oh God, please let him be okay and safe._

Steve looked at the screen and something that sounded a lot like a choked sob escaped his throat. In the screen, in shiny white letters was the name Steve had begged for since day one.

Tony Stark

_Tony Stark_

_Tony!_

"He..llo" Steve cleared his throat, " _Tony?_ "

"No, Steve," the voice was wrong. It was a voice he hadn't heard in many years, yes. But it wasn't the voice Steve had been wanting to hear for two years.

"It's Bruce," a pause, "Banner"

" _Bruce?!_ " Steve asked in surprise and Nat jumped and repeated Bruce's name under her breath with wide eyes.

"How did you get this number? How did you get that phone? _Where_ _have you been_?" Steve asked in one breath. Bruce might not be the person Steve had been hoping to talk to for two years now but he still needed answers, especially for the first two. That phone was _Tony's_. _Steve_ gave that phone to _Tony_. _How_ _did_ _Bruce_ _get that phone?_

He saw Nat and Sam telling him to put the phone in speaker mode and he did just that just as Bruce started talking again. _Man_ , Bruce sounded devastated and fear gripped at Steve's heart.

"There's no time to explain, Steve. I need you to find Vision as soon as possible and bring him to New York. Tony said you could find him. You need to do it quick, before he gets attacked too," Bruce spoke too quickly for any of them to fully understand him.

"Attack? _By who_? Who's going to attack Vision?"

"The Children of Thanos. They're after Vision's stone. Remember the _endgame_ Tony talked so much about? _That's_ _him_ , _he's here_ and he's going to _destroy_ _the_ _whole_ _universe_ if we don't stop him and _fast_! Find Vision and bring him to New York as fast as you can, Cap!" 

"Wait, Bruce. Slow down, we can't just go to New York," Steve tried to explain things to Bruce but the man only let out a sob. It worried Steve even more. Bruce sounded so desperate.

"Listen, Steve. There's no time to explain over the phone. I don't know what happened, but you need to listen to me now. Thanos is going to _destroy the universe_ if we don't stop him. _Do you hear me_? I need you to find Vision and bring him back to New York as soon as possible! Please, Steve," Bruce sounded like he was about to cry. Or maybe he was already crying.

" _Bruce,"_ Steve tried to say only to be interrupted by Bruce's devastated roar.

" _TONY IS GONE, STEVE!_ " Bruce roared and Steve's knees buckled. No, it couldn't be true. It just couldn't. Steve wanted to denied it, wanted it be false. Wanted it to be a lie or a trap. Hell, maybe even a prank. He was about to ask for an explanation when Bruce interrupted him.

"He was going to call you, said you could find Vision. But then we got attacked and he dropped this phone. Those things took him, I don't know where. But he's gone and I'm afraid he's not coming back. So please, Steve. Hurry up!" Bruce hang up on them just before they could ask any more questions. There was silence in the room after that. So much silence.

_Tony is gone, Tony is gone, Tony is gone._

_Nononononono._

_NO!_

_Tony couldn't be gone, he just couldn't._

_Nononono._

_Tony!_

"It might be a trap, Cap," Sam said but was interrupted by Nat.

"Its not a trap," Nat said in a quiet voice and pointed at the T.V.

There, on the News were images of a New York street been attacked by... some _thing._

Aliens, whatever they were.

And in the corner of the screen was a small picture.

A picture of Tony. Sunglasses, a smile and a fancy suit. And the words _Tony Stark Missing_ below it.

_Tony Stark Missing._

_Tony._

_Missing._

_Tony!_

Steve took a deep breath and got up from the floor. When did he fall? And said with a determined voice.

"Let's go find Vision _._ "

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	2. Dust and Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve knows Tony is dead as soon as he sees the shiny green stone in Thanos' gauntlet. Tony wouldn't have given that stone up without a hell of a fight. So he fights Thanos with everything he has. He lets go and fights as hard as he knows Tony did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for continuing this story with me! Welcome back!
> 
> Also this is my first fic in this fandom and on AO3 so bear with me guys, I'm a newbie.
> 
> All mistakes are mine, feel free to tell me in the comments if you see any mistakes. English is not my first language, so help me out a little.
> 
> Ask me anything in the comments or @tonidanvers in tumblr. 
> 
> REMINDER: This story starts in IW but will continue towards Endgame. There may be Endgame and Captain Marvel spoilers so watch out for those.
> 
> Happy reading!

 

 

 

 

> _You know you came from it._
> 
> _And some day you’ll return to it._
> 
> _- **[Dirt by Florida Georgia Line](https://youtu.be/42uphHWxmFU)**_
> 
> * * *
> 
>  

 

Steve never thought he'll be back here.

He hoped and prayed to be back home one day.

But he never thought he'll be.

The walls seem different but at the same time, they look the same.

The furniture, the decorations.

Even the air feels different but familiar.

It's almost like coming home after a very long trip.

Too bad there was no one to welcome him home.

_Oh, Tony._

_My Tony._

_Where are you?_

* * *

It's very easy to find Vision and Wanda, the signs of a battle visible even in the dark. 

It's not hard at all to come up with a plan of attack, using the element of surprise and the experience of years working together.

The aliens are leaving before they even break a sweat.

It's not hard to get Vision and Wanda in the jet, or to tell Sam to head home.

It's not hard at all to get into the Avengers Compound and tell Ross to fuck off. Although, he couldn't even say Tony's name aloud. He just hopes that nobody noticed that. And it's not like he's not saying the truth, anyway. Tony  _is_ Earth's best defender.

It's not hard to hug Rhodey and Bruce.

Or to listen to Bruce's story. And his conclusion that Thor and Loki might be dead.

_Oh God, Thor!_

It's not even hard to compare the footage of the attacks and see how well his Tony works with the wizards or the spider kid.

_Not yours, Rogers!_

He has seen footage of Tony and Spider-Man before and well he has to admit that they're great together. They're a well oiled machine. Just like Tony and Steve used to be.

Maybe even better.

_It hurts._

It's a little hard to watch another man wink at his Tony, until he remembers that Tony is not _his_. Never _his_. Only Pepper's.

_Pepper._

_Tony's future wife._

_Get it together, Rogers!_

His throat closes up when he sees Tony go after that damned ship and never come back.

_No, no, no._

_Please come back._

_I need you._

But he understands. Tony needs to protect the Time Stone, the wizard and the kid. He just hopes Tony comes back.

_Please come back, Tony._

_Don't go, don't go!_

_I need you._

It's harder to watch Vision ask Wanda to kill him.

_Poor kids._

_Why is love such a tragedy? It's suppose to be beautiful._

He tries to make Vision understand, but thankfully, Bruce comes up with an idea.

So he calls T'Challa and off to Wakanda they go.

He hugs Bucky. They explain things to T'Challa and Shuri. They give him new shields, he hates them but he nods and thanks them, he needs them. 

_That shield doesn't belong to you!_

_My father made that shield!_

_You don't deserved it!_

When the army comes, he's prepare. As prepare as he will ever be in this situation. He keeps his cool, barks orders to his team and fights, and fights, and fights.

_And fights!_

He can't stop, not now. If he stops, he dies.

Even when he's losing, he's fighting.

He may not be Captain America anymore.

But it wasn't Captain America the one that was stubborn as hell, it was Steve Rogers. It had always been.

That scrawny sickly little thing from the 30s.

He was the one who never gave up. He was the one who taught Captain America to be stubborn and brave. To stand up, to keep fighting.

To. Never. Give. Up.

_Get up._

_Get up._

_Get up!_

They're losing, Steve can feel it.

_Oh God_

_Oh God_

_Oh God_

_Nonono!_

And then, the impossible happens.

Turns out, Thor's not dead. He's alive and well. He has a new weapon too.

A wicked little axe.

He prefers the hammer _._

_That man has no regards for lawn maintenance._

He has new friends too.

A talking raccoon with a gun.

And a tree that talks and moves.

_I am Groot!_

_I am Steve Rogers._

_Not Captain America._

_Not anymore._

_Just a Nomad._

_My father made that shield._

_You don't deserve it._

_It doesn't belong to you._

Steve thinks the world is weird.

_Not the world, Rogers._

_The Universe._

For a time, Steve thinks they might win this, but then...

Wanda

Vision

_Thanos_

When Bruce tells him that Thanos is in the battlefield, he's ready to attack but then he sees it.

A shiny little green stone in Thanos' golden gauntlet.

Bruce told them all about the stones.

Green.

_Green!_

_Oh no._

_Oh God, no._

_Please no._

The Time Stone is green.

Tony went to space to protect the Time Stone.

As soon as he sees it, Steve knows.

He just fucking _knows_.

He knows the wizard wouldn't give it up for anything.

He knows the spider kid wouldn't either.

And he knows Tony.

Oh God does he know Tony.

Tony will never give up that stone without one hell of a fight.

He'll fight everything and everyone that stood in his way, he'll make them bleed. He'll make them regret every choice they ever made.

Right then and there, with him staring at Thanos, who is as big as the Hulk. Steve knows that Tony is dead.

Steve knows that Tony fought Thanos.

And Tony lost.

_Oh God, Tony._

_Please._

_Nonononono!_

_NO!_

_TONY!_

_Tony! Tony! Tony!_

_I will miss you, Tony._

_Tony!_

Steve doesn't have time to mourn right now, he grits his teeth, barks something at his team. What? He doesn't know. 

He let's go and aims for Thanos with everything he has. 

Just like he knows Tony did.

He does it for him, for his team.

For the world, for the universe.

He does it for Tony.

Thanos looks surprise at his strength at first.

To be honest, Steve is too.

He never thought he'll be this strong.

He notices a bleeding cut in Thanos cheek and wonders.

He doesn't have to wonder long. Thanos seems to know what he's thinking, he smirks and even though he gets rid of Steve easily, Steve's smiling.

Tony made Thanos bleed.

Good.

_Good._

_Tony!_

_Please, forgive me._

_Tony!_

And then everything goes black.

When he wakes up he asks Thor.

What happened?

Where did Thanos go?

What did Thanos  _do?_

But Thor doesn't answer, he looks scared.

No, he looks terrified.

_Thor is terrified._

And then it happens.

What happens exactly?

He has no idea.

He just knows that Bucky is the first to go.

_Steve?_

Then it happens all around them.

People turn to dust, to ashes.

Steve doesn't know exactly.

He just knows that people keep disappearing into thin air.

Bucky.

Wanda.

Sam.

_Sam!_

T'Challa.

That damned tree.

_I am Groot!_

Oh God.

Earlier, T'Challa had said that Thanos will only have dust and blood today. He doesn't know how right he was, maybe he never will.

The rest of the Avengers...

Or what counts as the Avengers these days. Stand all around Vision's body.

They don't know what happened either.

They're all asking questions.

Steve doesn't have the answers.

Maybe no one does.

Maybe no one ever will.

Steve thought that he knew how it felt to lose.

Turns out, he doesn't.

And when he knows, it's awful.

You think you know heartbreak?

You think you know failure?

You think you know how it feels to be desperate?

Well, you don't.

You really  _don't._

You don't know failure.

You don't know heartbreak.

He didn't know failure.

No one ever does.

 _Oh God_ , he thinks. Or maybe he says it aloud. He's not sure. He's underwater. Everything is quiet but Steve only hears screams.

Oh God.

_It was such a beautiful day, so peaceful._

He remembers a different battlefield, a different year.

A different place.

Big brown eyes full of wonder.

He lets the tears fall.

_We'll lose_

_Then will do that together, too._

_Oh God._

_I'm sorry._

_Tony!_

_Where are you?_

_We'll lose._

_Together._

_We'll lose._

_Together._

_I'm trying to keep you from tearing the Avengers apart!_

_We need you, Cap._

_I don't wanna see you gone._

_Oh God, Tony!_

_We'll lose._

_We'll lose._

_That up there? That's the endgame._

_We'll lose._

_Together._

_We'll lose._

We lost.

We lost.

_We lost._

_Where are you?_

_Are you alive?_

_We lost._

_I'm sorry._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is more of what is going on in Steve's mind during the Battle of Wakanda rather than a description of the battle we have seen so many times. This is probably the only chapter where I will use this format. I hope you liked it.
> 
> Thanks for reading! Ask me anything in the comments or @tonidanvers in tumblr. Leave kudos or comments, don't be shy. See you soon.


	3. Avenge Them

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some people think the world would end in fire, or ice, maybe water. Some natural disaster send by the Gods as punishment. Some think that men would end the world in wars. But nobody ever thought it will end in dust.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Welcome back!
> 
> Thank you for giving this story a chance.
> 
> All mistakes are mine. If you see any mistakes please let me know in the comments. English is not my first language so help me out a little.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has left comments and kudos and to everyone who has bookmarked this story. Thank you, thank you.
> 
> REMINDER: This story will start in Infinity War and will continue towards Endgame so watch out for Captain Marvel and Endgame spoilers.
> 
> Happy reading!

 

 

> _Dear God, sorry to disturb you, but..._ _I feel that I should be heard loud and clear._ _We all need a big reduction in amount of tears._
> 
> _- **[Dear God by Lawless ft. Sydney Wayser.](https://youtu.be/F3Q8jlHi7O0)**_
> 
> * * *
> 
>  

 

Someone, somewhere once told him that there are five stages of grief. He remembers that someone later told him that there are actually seven.

He doesn't remember them all. He knows that shock and denial are among them.

On day one, the world is in shock. Nobody knows what happened. Not even the Avengers know.

They try to hold their loved ones, they only hold dust and air.

On day two, the world is in denial. Nobody wants to accept or believe what happened. Nobody wants to grieve.

There are no bodies left to cry over.

That gives them hope.

They don't know if that is a good thing or bad thing.

They shout the names of the fallen.

Nobody answers back.

He doesn't remember if blame is one of the stages, but that is exactly what people do next.

They blame themselves, they blame Thanos. They blame the Avengers, they blame the whole world.

When people think about the end of the world, they think about fire, ice, water. About natural disasters send by the Gods in the skies as punishment for our actions.

As judgement.

They think about wars started by men.

No one ever thought that the world would end in dust.

Every head is a world. That's why the world has many differences.

Humans don't always get along, but humans have something in common.

Love.

For their families and lovers.

For their friends and pets.

And for their planet.

Mess with one of them and they unite.

One by one, they stand. They wipe their tears away, hold their hands and cry loud.

Avenge them! Avenge them! Avenge them!

AVENGE THEM!

_And it's beautiful._

* * *

 

Steve doesn't know how much time they spend sitting in the ground with Vision's body.

It might be minutes, it might be hours.

Steve looks at Vision's body, now only an empty shell that once held an incredible being.

A child.

A child loved by many.

He still remembers the day Vision was born. He remembers how Thor had congratulated Tony like Vision was his real son.

In a way he was.

_God, Tony._

_Tony said you could find Vision._

_I'm sorry, Tony._

_I'm sorry I couldn't protect him._

_I'm sorry he's gone._

_I'm sorry you lost him._

_I'm sorry we lost him._

_I'm sorry, Vision._

_I'm sorry, Wanda._

_Poor kids._

_We just wanted time._

He remembers the broken look on Tony's face when he thought Ultron killed J.A.R.V.I.S.

Or the lost look in his eyes everytime he heard Vision talk.

Or the way he told Wanda that she had hurt Vision's feelings. No matter the circumstances of how Vision was born, he had a special place in Tony's heart. A place that now would be empty forever.

Steve looked around the battlefield.

He saw the bodies of the aliens.

The bodies of the people the aliens killed.

The broken ships on the ground.

The little fires around them.

The weapons of the vanished.

_We really destroy everything we touch, don't we?_

_We really bring destruction everywhere we go, don't we?_

_Are you happy now, Ross?_

_Are you?!_

Steve took a deep breath and immediately regretted it. The air smelled like blood, like dust, like ashes.

He sighed and looked at his team.

The talking raccoon was sitting on a rock behind Thor silently weeping.

Bruce was trying to talk Thor out of his shock. But so far, Thor just sat there staring at nothing. 

Even Rhodey and Natasha who had been soldiers for most of their lives looked lost.

_We are not soldiers!_

They looked broken.

Lost. Scared. Sad.

They looked so tired.

Steve closed his eyes and cleared his throat. He tried to sound commanding, like a leader. He's not sure he manage it.

"We need to clean this place up, bring the bodies of the fallen to a safe place where they can be found by their families. Help the injured, pick up and clean the weapons. Put out the fires before they spread, help bring the people back to the city. We need to do something, we brought the war to this place, is the least we can do." It took a minute but one by one they nodded and stood up.

Natasha and Bruce went to help the injured. The raccoon, who was apparently named Rocket, offered to pick the weapons from the ground and clean them up. Rhodey started to put out fires and Steve and Thor helped with the heavy lifting.

 

_**Day Two** _

 

It took them all night and half of the next morning, but by midday the exiled Wakandans were back to their homes. The weapons had been cleaned up and were in a safe place away from the children. The injured were recovering. The bodies of the aliens had been burned to ash. And all the tech and ships from the aliens were under lock and key.

Once again, Steve looked around.

He saw mothers and fathers. Daughters and sons. Sisters and brothers. Friends and lovers weeping and shouting their loved ones names but nobody answered back.

Steve's hearts shattered into a million pieces.

_So this is how heartbreak feels like?_

_This is how failure feels like?_

_This is how grief and hopelessness feels like?_

_If you heart stills beats, you're the unlucky one._

Once again he looked at his team. Rocket, Bruce and Natasha were looking at the people with tears in their eyes. Rhodey tried to appear strong, but the broken and lost look on his eyes spoke volumes.

He didn't want to, he really didn't want to but he looked at Thor. He seemed desvastated, heartbroken, lost and terrified. But most of all, he looked ready to murder Thanos. Thor wanted vengeance. No, he wanted revenge.

He remembered Bruce's story and felt a wave of sadness overcome him. Thor has lost so much. Thor has lost everything. Steve was afraid, not afraid of Thor, but afraid for him. He took one last look around and nodded to himself.

"This is no place for us, let's go back home. Let's see where else we are needed, where else we can help." The team nodded and they said their goodbyes to Okoye, told her they would be in touch.

When they were about to board the Quinjet, that was when it first happened. A kid, maybe not older than ten, ran towards them, wiped his tears away and cried.

"Avenge them, Avenge them, Avenge them!" It didn't take much for the others to join him. Soon all the Wakandans were shouting those words to them.

"Avenge them, Avenge them, Avenge them!"

"AVENGE THEM!"

_If we can't protect the Earth, we damn sure will Avenge it._

"We will!" Steve raised his voice over the noise and promised to them. He tried not to remember all the other promises he had already broken.

"We will!" He heard Natasha echo his words.

"We will!" Said Bruce and Rhodey together.

"We will!" Echoed Rocket and Okoye.

"WE WILL!" Thor's voice boomed.

"WE WILL!" They all say together. Avengers past, present and new. After Civil Wars, blood, fights and disagreements, they finally united. Too bad it took the end of the world to do it. Too bad half of their members, half of their family weren't here to see it.

They turned around and boarded the Quinjet with cries of 'Avenge them' still following them. They took one more look at a city who was once beautiful and futuristic but now was just broken and mourning.

Steve was sure that he wasn't the only one who was sending a silent sorry to the city and its people.

"If we can't protect the Earth..." Steve started.

"We damn sure will Avenge it!" He heard Natasha, Bruce and Thor finish behind him. The only ones left who knew the meaning of those words.

"For Sam and Bucky," Steve started again.

"For Wanda and Vision," Natasha continue.

"For Loki and Heimdell," Thor said next.

"For Groot," The raccoon added.

"For T'Challa, Shuri and Doctor Strange," Bruce said.

"For Tony and Spider-Man,"  Rhodey concluded.

"We're the Avengers, we gotta finish this," Steve said with a determined look on his face and the voice of a Captain, a leader.

"We will," His team promised.

One day, Steve will go back to Wakanda and find that kid and personally thank him, because with just two words he had put the fight and spark back in the Avengers.

* * *

New York was in ruins. If he thought Wakanda was broken, New York was shattered beyond repair.

There were car, buses and plane crashes everywhere. Fires in pretty much every building. So many ships in the water. Crying kids, crying babies. Women and men. Crying, crying, crying.

Shouting for their loved ones.

Screams, screams, screams.

They helped were they could.

Rescuing people from the fires and crashes.

Putting the fires out and cleaning the streets of the cars, buses and helicopters.

Brought the injured to hospitals.

The dead bodies and orphans to the authorities.

They found Fury's car. They were signs of him and Hill but they were nowhere to be found. He heard Natasha let out a little broken sob. The Avengers and S.H.I.E.L.D were her only family, her only friends. Poor girl.

They found a little device near Fury's car. Bruce and Rhodey called it a 'Pager'. Natasha said it might be useful. That Fury always had a backup plan. They took the little device with them.

After a few hours of work, Natasha came running to them with tears in her eyes, she showed them her phone. It was a message from Clint, it only had two words.

_They're gone._

They tried to call him. He never answered.

After hours and hours of work. Long after the night had fallen, they decided to go back to the Compound.

That's when they realized they hadn't eaten since before the battle. Not even Steve and Bruce who also had an advance metabolism noticed. They weren't hungry, they didn't know if they could eat after everything that had happened but they had to eat and drink something. If they wanted to keep helping out there, they needed to eat something, they needed the energy and strength.

They made some sandwiches and crashed on one of the common rooms. Nobody wanted to be alone right now and they weren't even sure if they still had rooms in here. They crashed there and tried to sleep.

Steve was sure that nobody manage to close their eyes all night long.

 

_**Day Three** _

 

They continue to help New York and cities that were nearby.

Rhodey and Bruce took all of Tony's suits and the rest of the Iron Legion with them.

Natasha called some ex-S.H.I.E.L.D agents and asked them for help, thankfully they said yes.

Steve and Thor continue the heavy lifting with Rocket providing air support and supplies from the Quinjet.

Every city asked them for the same thing.

"Avenge them, Avenge them, Avenge them!"

They promised that they will and returned to the Compound late at night, ate what little they could and tried to sleep on one of the common rooms.

 

_**Day Four** _

 

They listened to Bruce, Thor and Rocket's stories.

Everything they knew about Thanos thanks to a woman named Gamora, who was apparently a daughter of Thanos. Steve couldn't believe that, that mad, whatever-he-was, had children. Until Rocket explained to them what the word children actually meant to Thanos. He felt Natasha flinch beside him.

Rocket told them everything he knew about Thanos from people he called Gamora and Drax. Thor told them what little he knew about Thanos and the Infinity Stones. And Bruce concluded the stories with what the wizards had explained about the stones to him and Tony.

Rhodey prepared a statement to be released to the press so they could be aware of what happened.

Natasha and Bruce started creating a list of their friends and family who vanished. While Steve asked F.R.I.D.A.Y to look for Thanos using scanners, face recognition, satellites, whatever she had in store.

"Does anyone want to add someone else to the list?" Natasha asked them.

"I don't know who is still left of the people who manage to escape before Thanos attacked us and the people on my ship were killed, even if we reverse what Thanos did is impossible to bring them back," Thor said in a small voice. Steve's heart broke once again.

"I only know that Groot is gone, I don't know about the others, they might still be alive, so no," Rocket said and then added in a quiet whisper, "I hope they're still alive." Steve hoped that Rocket's team was okay, they couldn't bear to lose more people.

"I know that Pepper, Happy and May are okay, so are my parents, but my niece, Lila Rhodes and Peter Parker, Tony's intern, are nowhere to be found." Rhodey said next.

Steve didn't know who May was and apparently the rest didn't know either. But she seemed to be important to Rhodes, or maybe to Tony.

He was glad that Pepper and Happy were okay, Tony will be devastated if he came back and they were gone. For a moment he didn't remember who Peter Parker was but then he did and his heart broke for the hundredth time that day. The kid and Tony seemed close. He just hoped that Tony wouldn't lose it when he finds out.

"Oh yeah, there are also this three kids. They're  Peter's friends. Um, Michelle Jones, Harley Keener and Ned Leeds. No one has seen them since it happened," Natasha nodded and added them to the list.

Now, Steve was a 100% sure that Tony would lose it when he comes back to Earth and finds out the kid is gone. If Rhodey calls the kid 'Peter' and knows the kid's friends by names and faces, then that means that Tony and this kid are really, really close.

"How about you, Steve? You need to add someone to the list?" Natasha asked him and Steve nodded.

"Yeah, um. Sharon Carter, I found out that she disappeared too," Steve told her and she nodded and added her to the list.

Steve took a look at the list.

So many good people, so many so young.

Spider-Man, Doctor Stephen Strange, T'Challa, Shuri, Scott Lang, Hope van Dyne, Hank Pym, Janet van Dyne, Maria Hill, Nick Fury, Sharon Carter, Betty Ross, Jane Foster, Darcy Lewis, Bucky Barnes, Sam Wilson, Wanda Maximoff, Lila Barton, Cooper Barton, Nathaniel Barton, Laura Barton, Groot, Lila Rhodes, Michelle Jones, Harley Keener, Ned Leeds, Peter Parker, Tony Stark...

Steve paused.

Tony Stark.

_Tony Stark_

_Tony._

_Nononono!_

_They really think he's gone._

_No, no._

_He'll come back._

_He has to._

_He always comes back._

_Tony is resilient._

_Tony is a phoenix._

_HE ALWAYS COMES BACK!_

"Steve are you okay?"

"Steve is everything alright?"

"Steve?"

"Captain?"

"Cap?"

"Steve!"

"Rogers!"

"Why is he on the list?"  Steve asked trying to be calm, he was sure he was anything but calm.

It didn't escape his notice that once again he couldn't say Tony's name aloud.

It was Bruce who answered him.

"Steve, we gotta admit that Tony might be gone. He wouldn't give the Time Stone for anything. I saw and heard Doctor Strange talk about the Time Stone, he wouldn't give it up for anything either. It hurts, I know it hurts but he might never come back. If he wasn't killed by that alien or by Thanos, then maybe he got taken on the Snap too." Steve only shook his head.

"No, no, no," Steve said. "You don't know him, Rhodes back me up here," He took a look at Rhodes only to see a lone tear fall, he didn't believe Tony was alive either.

"Listen, Steve. I want to believe he's alive, too. Trust me, there's nothing I want to believe more than that. I have seen that kid pull miracles since he was fifteen years old. I saw him walk in a desert after been a POW for three months. I heard his voice after everyone believed he was at the bottom of the ocean. I saw him escape a falling city, saw him fall from the sky and wake up in a street and many more things. But you gotta admit, this was bigger than him, bigger than us. _We_  lost and  _we_ fought together with an _army._ He was up there and alone, with only a wizard who he doesn't know and a newbie. So I'm sorry, Steve. I really am, but maybe this time. Tony might not come back." By the time Rhodey finished, he was openly crying and his voice was breaking.

"Captain, the Man of Iron was very strong and brave. His suit a great and formidable invention. He was also very clever but remember that myself and my brother. Who are what you people consider gods and the Hulk, a very strong and incredible being fought Thanos and lost. I don't want Tony Stark to be gone, but this situation is a hard one to get out of," Thor added from his spot on the table.

Steve just wanted them to be quiet, to stop thinking and talking about Tony as if he was gone, he wasn't gone, Steve could feel it, couldn't they? Sure, he also thought that Tony was dead when he saw Thanos with the Time Stone but something told him he was wrong, Tony was still alive. Steve could feel it.

Steve ran away from the room. He needed some fresh air.

Someone found him sitting on a bench outside, looking at one of Tony's cars parked a few meters away.

"Go away, Natasha. I want to be alone." Steve pleaded.

"I'm not Nat,"  It was Bruce the one who had found him then. Steve ignored him. He felt a little bad about it.

"Look, Steve. I don't know what happened between the two of you. The others seem fine, so clearly the problem is between you and Tony. He only told me that the Avengers broke up two years ago and that you and him felt out hard and weren't on speaking terms," Bruce paused to look at him. Steve said nothing. Bruce sighed and continue.

"I'm not asking for an explanation, I don't really care what happened, not now, anyway." Steve nodded.

"He was going to call you, you know." Steve froze. "He was about to push that call button when those things showed up." Out of the corner of his eye, Steve saw Bruce take something out of his pocket.

"When Doctor Strange went to look for Tony, he was in Central Park, running with Pepper," Bruce paused to show him what he had in his hand.

Steve felt as if the air had been punched out of him. 

It was the phone, the phone Steve had sent Tony with a letter two years ago. It was broken and scratched, probably from the battle. But it was still the same phone.

He still remembers picking a flip phone with the hope that if Tony didn't call him for help or something else at least he will receive an angry text or voicemail because how dare Steve offend the great tech wiz Tony Stark with a damn old fashioned flip phone.

"Now, many things seem to have change around here since the last time I was here but I know Tony. No tech guy, no billionaire, especially not Tony, will ever have a flip phone with him. _Never_. Unless it was special, unless it meant something. Unless it was for a reason. He had this little thing in his pocket, he was ready to call you. I'm sure he didn't just decide that morning to take it with him." Bruce gave him the phone and Steve took it with trembling hands.

"I think this belongs to you. I want to believe he's alive too, trust me, I really, really do. He's my friend."

_So was I._

"But even if this time he really doesn't come back just keep in mind that a part of him already forgave you." Bruce patted him on the back and left.

And Steve, while sitting outside the Compound,  _his home._ Looking at Tony's car and holding that damned flip phone in his hands. That damn flip phone that Steve swore smelled like Tony, that damn flip phone Steve thought Tony had thrown away as soon as he saw it. Steve finally, finally, after two years, after everything, let the tears fall.

_I'm sorry, Tony._

_Please_ _forgive me._

_Please, please, please._

_Please come back._

_Please be okay._

_Please be alive._

_I'm sorry._

_I'm sorry._

_I'm sorry._

_I'm sorry._

_Tony._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I did take more people away than the canon snap did. I wanted everyone to lose someone.
> 
> Peter is added two times as Peter and as Spidey because only Rhodey knows they are the same person and he won't tell the team.
> 
> Jon Watts confirmed that MJ, Ned, Flash and May were taken on the snap too but in my story May is alive and there's a reason for that. 
> 
> Betty Ross was added because I noticed that Ross is at Tony's funeral so either he got taken too or someone close to him was and also because Bruce didn't lose anyone, I wanted him to lose someone too. 
> 
> Sharon Carter is added because instead of doing that Steggy twist the Russos could have used Sharon but didn't so my headcanon is that Steve didn't move on with Sharon because she wasn't there either. 
> 
> I read a theory in tumblr that said that Harley was probably taken too, because he seems really young at the funeral. He looks like he's on his teens instead of his 20s and also I want to take him away to give Tony more motivation.
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Ask me anything in the comments or in Tumblr (@tonidanvers).
> 
> Leave kudos and comments, don't be shy.
> 
> See you soon.


	4. A Week of Suffering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve and the Avengers get a visit from three special guests. One is helpful, the other hateful and one is an enigma.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Thanks for giving this story a chance.
> 
> Thank you to everyone that has left kudos and comments and to everyone who has bookmarked this story. You made my day.
> 
> So, the Spider-Man: Far From Home trailer is out now. Have you seen it? What did you thought of it? Did you cry? I'm actually very excited because a rip in the Multiverse is confirmed and I was like yes I was right, so after watching Endgame my friend and I were thinking about the future series and I put some clues together and I was like I hope I'm right and this is what is going to be next, even if it's not I'll totally write a fanfic about it because now I have that idea in my head and I can't get it out.
> 
> All mistakes are mine and mine alone, if you spot any mistakes please feel free to tell me in the comments. English is not my first language so help me out a little.
> 
> You can ask me anything in the comments or at tumblr @tonidanvers.
> 
> We have three special guests in this chapter guys, I hope you enjoy it.
> 
> NOTE: Chapters 1-3 had been edited if you want to go check them out.
> 
> REMINDER: This story starts in IW and will continue towards Endgame so watch out for Ant-Man and the Wasp, Captain Marvel and Avengers: Endgame SPOILERS.
> 
> Enjoy!

 

 

> _You can't choose what stays and what fades away. And I'd do anything to make you stay._

> _- **[No Light, No Light by Florence + The Machine](https://youtu.be/HGH-4jQZRcc)**_

* * *

 

Steve saw the world during a war.

Steve saw a city during and after an alien invasion.

Steve saw a city fall from the sky.

Steve thought the first one was bad, until he was later shown that there could be something much, much worse.

Steve thought the second one impossible, until he saw it with his own two eyes.

Steve thought the third one was their fault and when the survivors turned against their saviours, he was proven right.

Now Steve sees and thinks all that and much, much more.

You ever seen the whole world lose hope at once?

You ever seen the whole world grieve at once?

You ever seen the whole world slowly dying at once?

You ever been blamed by the whole world at once?

Steve has and he can tell you that its not pretty.

* * *

 

_**Day Five** _

 

Rhodes told them that they couldn't be sleeping in the common rooms anymore. He told them that their old rooms and offices were still there. That they just needed to go look for them.

Steve went to his old room and he found it locked, he put his pass code on the screen and prayed that it'll open, it did after a second and he let out a sigh of relief.

His old room was the same as he left it. Full of dust, yes, but the same as the day he left.

The picture of the Howling Commandos was still on his wall, along with his picture of the Avengers. The drawings of Bucky and Peggy were there too. He turned to the next wall and found the drawing of Howard and Doctor Erskine in that Brooklyn lab. And a replica of his shield hanging on the wall.

_That shield doesn't belong to you._

_My father made that shield._

_You don't deserved it._

Steve closed his eyes and took a deep breath, back in the 30s, so much dust would have given him an asthma attack, he opened his eyes again and looked around. His sketch book was still on his table along with his pencils, a pair of headphones and a MP3 Player that Sam had given him for Christmas was still on his nightstand, along with an old water bottle and a history book, it had an Iron Man bookmark in the middle of it. He was sure that the sheets in his bed were the same ones he had put on it two days before leaving the Compound.

Steve went to the bathroom and sure enough his toothbrush, razor, shampoo and bar soap were still there. Hell, even his dirty clothes were still there. Everything was there. Everything was the same as he left it two years ago.

It was funny in a way, Steve almost felt as if he had gone back in time to the day he left the Compound, just gotten home from a mission. That's all, just a few hours away from his room and not two years.

Everything waiting for him to pick back up right where he left it. If only everything was that easy.

It was clear that no one had been in this room since Steve left. He didn't know if he liked it or not. He didn't know if he preferred the feeling of someone invading his space and changing things a little bit or this feeling of going back in time. He couldn't decide which option was more cruel.

Steve sighed again and opened the windows and started to clean his room, he could just program one of Tony's cleaning bots to do it but he wanted it to do it himself.

He couldn't decide if it was a punishment or a therapy. Probably both.

He cleaned the dust away, swiped and moped his room. Changed the curtains and sheets. Replace his toiletries and water bottle with new ones. Cleaned his bathroom and when he was finally satisfied he throwed all of his clothes in bags and headed straight for the laundry room.

He found Natasha there. "Everything was just as I left it, no one had gone into my room in two years, not even the cleaning bots. Its weird, I don't know if I feel flattered or upset," Natasha said while she changed her clothes from the washing machine to the dryer.

"I know, mine was the same," Steve told her while throwing his clothes into a washing machine.

"You think he did it on purpose? So when we came back we'll feel this way? Confused?" Nat asked him after a few minutes of silence, she didn't have to specify who she meant, Steve just knew it.

Steve sighed "No, I don't think he even cared," Nat raised a questioning eyebrow. "I don't think he did it to respect our boundaries or whatever you wanna call it. He didn't do it to be mean or anything. He didn't do it so when we came back we'll be feeling like we just stepped into the past, I think he did it because he thought we weren't coming back so why bother with our rooms?" Nat was quiet for a few minutes, Steve could feel her eyes on him but said nothing.

"You really think that? You really think he thought we weren't coming back?" Nat asked in a small voice and for a moment Steve wasn't sure if he wanted to answer her but after a minute he nodded and said.

"Yes, I really think so," Nat made a 'go on' motion with her hand. "You know that T'Challa has kept in contact with us for this past two years, right? That he has been telling us about the changes that they had both made to the Accords and all that, right?" Steve asked her and Natasha nodded her head once.

"Yes, Steve. I'm aware, go on," Nat said and made that motion with her hand again.

"Well, about a month before all of this happened, T'Challa sent me an updated copy of the Accords, we went through it, remember?" Nat nodded. "Well, Sam and I realize that all of those changes are things we can all agreed on. I mean, yes. There are still some issues, but T'Challa said that they were working on them, so I asked Sam: 'Why hasn't he called us?,' I told him: 'He must know that this is something we can work with, something we can agreed on, right?' And you know what Sam's answer was?" Nat shook her head.

"He said: 'Why would he call us? We're the ones who left'. In that moment Sam made me realize that even after all that fighting and disagreements, even after everything that happened  _he_ never pushed _us_ away,  _he_ never told _us_ to go,  _we_ did that.  _We_ were the ones who left. He only asked us, asked _me_ to compromised for a little while, we couldn't do that,  _I_ couldn't do that, so we left, _I left_. He had no business calling us, because he didn't told us to go so why would he ask us to come back when we're the ones who left in the first place, why would he bother with cleaning our rooms when we're the ones who left them like that and we were never coming back, at least in his mind." Steve finished and turned to look at Natasha, she looked thoughtful.

"I hate to open old wounds but that's a little too little, too late, Rogers." Rhodes said from the entrance while Bruce just smiled apologetically at them.

Geez, how long had they been standing there? And how much did they hear? Steve was pretty sure that he was blushing or something. His face was hot.

"Rhodey, you're back. How did the press conference go?" Nat asked Rhodey.

Yesterday, Rhodes and Natasha had prepared a statement for the public and the press and called for a press conference as soon as possible. Pepper's personal assistant had called last night to tell them that the conference would be this morning at 10. It had been decided that Rhodey was the one who would do it because with Vision dead and Tony MIA, he was the only official Avenger left and probably the only one who was in good graces with the public. It was also decided that Bruce would go with him and be his 'Avenger Bodyguard' because of his legs.

Rhodey and Bruce shared and unreadable look at Natasha's question. Bruce sighed.

"Bad," Bruce said. "Really bad," Rhodey added.

Steve and Natasha shared a look. "Come see for yourselves," Rhodey said and asked them to follow him. Nat and Steve shared another look but followed them anyway.

They were blaming the Avengers.

Every news channel, every newspaper, every magazine, every talk show, every website that was still running after the Snap was blaming the Avengers, all of them.

The public, the press, the government, the whole world was blaming the Avengers.

The statement had been clear. They explained what they knew. They told them what little they knew about Thanos, the Black Order and the Infinity Stones. Told them that this wasn't Thanos first attack, that Loki and Ultron had been part of Thanos master plan. Told them that the Infinity Stones had been scattered around the Universe. Told them that Thor's people along with Thor, the Hulk, Loki, Iron Man, Spider-Man, Doctor Strange and the Guardians of the Galaxy had tried to stop Thanos from getting the Power, Space, Reality, Soul and Time Stones and from coming to Earth. And that Captain America, Black Widow, the Hulk, War Machine, Thor, Scarlet Witch, the Vision, Falcon, Thor, two members of the Guardians of the Galaxy and Black Panther and his people, had tried to stop him from getting the Mind Stone and from doing the Snap.

And still, they blamed the Avengers.

They were saying that they should have done more, that those teams sound very impressive but maybe if they had been together instead of separated into two teams that they could have won the battles.

_We're the Avengers. We can bust arms dealers all long day, but that up there? That's the endgame. How are you guys planning on beating that?_

_Together._

_We'll lose._

_Then will do that together too._

_God, Tony. We should have really listened to you buddy._

_I'm sorry I failed you._

They prepared the statement and agreed that they wouldn't be taking any questions but that didn't seem to stop the press and public from asking them.

Questions like:

How long have the Avengers know about Thanos?

How long have the Avengers know about the Infinity Stones?

What precautions did the Avengers took about Thanos and/or the Infinity Stones?

How does the Snap works?

Why aren't the Avengers doing anything about the Snap now?

Where is Thanos?

Where are the Stones?

Is Thanos coming back?

Is he going to use the Stones again?

Are we in danger?

Can the Snap be reversed?

Where is Iron Man?

Is Tony Stark dead?

And many, many more.

Thor punched the screen, it shattered into tiny little pieces. Everyone flinched.

"Thor..." Steve started but was interrupted by Thor, it was a good thing too, because he really didn't know what to say.

"They're not wrong, Captain," Thor said and surprisingly nobody disagreed with him.

"No, they aren't," A voice said from behind them, a  _very_ familiar voice. Everyone turned at once.

"Agent Coulson?!" Steve asked in surprise.

"Coulson?!" Said Bruce, Thor and Rhodey in unison.

"Phil?!" Natasha gasped.

Rocket only looked between them and Agent Coulson in confusion.

"But aren't you supposed to be...?" Steve paused, he really didn't want to finish that question, he still wasn't sure he wasn't hallucinating or something.

"Be dead? Yes. Aren't you supposed to be war criminals?" Agent Coulson asked while looking between Natasha and Steve.

"War criminals? I don't understand," Thor said in confusion, he was looking from Steve and Natasha to Rhodey. Steve only now realize that while Bruce knew a little bit about their 'break up'. Thor probably didn't know anything about it. It's not like they had time to catch up with all the Thanos business going around.

"Long story, pal. Tell you later," Rhodey told Thor and then turned to Coulson. "So Agent Coulson, not that we aren't greatful and all that you're indeed alive but how are you alive exactly?" Agent Coulson smiled.

"Well, Colonel Rhodes, that is another long story. Let's just said that Nick Fury has a lot of tricks up his sleeve and leave it at that. Besides, that's not why I'm here," Agent Coulson said with another smile. Steve was sure he wasn't the only one disliking those smiles.

"Yeah, that's another thing, how are you here exactly?" Rhodey asked Coulson and the Agent (ex-Agent?) frowned.

"I told you Nick Fury..." Coulson started but was interrupted by Rhodey.

"Oh, no, no. I got that. I mean here. As in the Compound, as in  _how the hell did you get inside the Compound_?" Rhodey asked Coulson while signaling the room to empathize his point. True be told Steve wanted to know too, the Agent was either really good at sneaking or was authorized to be here. Maybe Tony already knew Coulson was alive?

"Oh, the A.I. let me in, of course," Coulson said matter of factly. Out of the corner of his eye, Steve saw Rhodey mouthing 'Of course' under his breath.

"Um, F.R.I.D.A.Y.? Is that true?" Steve asked the A.I.

"Yes, Captain Rogers. I am very sorry if I made a mistake, but Agent Philip Coulson of S.H.I.E.L.D has been authorized to access select Stark properties since 2011, as long as his access codes work he is allow to be here. Also J.A.R.V.I.S, my predecessor had Agent Coulson registered on his server as someone who Mr. Stark trusted." The A.I. replied and Coulson smiled smugly.

"Wait, does this mean that Tony knew you were alive?" Natasha asked Coulson. Steve could tell that she was a little hurt about that.

"No, I don't think so. If Mr. Stark knew I was alive he would have already found me." Steve wished Tony was here to see this, he remembers Tony's grief when Coulson died, even though the man swore he didn't much care about the annoying agent. Steve knew better though, he could see just how much Tony cared about 'Agent' and how much his death affected him.

"Where is Mr. Stark, by the way? Where is Iron Man?" Coulson gave them a hard look. "Where are Fury and Hill? And why so many of my agents turned to dust in front of my eyes? And don't you dare give me the crap you feed the media, I want the whole true." Coulson demanded and the Avengers shared a look. Steve sighed and asked Coulson to have lunch with them and promised him that they would tell him the whole story since the beginning, meaning New York 2012.

After they finished telling the whole story to Coulson and after Coulson finished scolding them, he also told them about his life and death. Turns out, he did died that day but was resurrected and was later made Director of an underground S.H.I.E.L.D after the real one turned out to be HYDRA. He also helped them prepare another statement to be released to the press, one that anwswered more questions and hopefully didn't raise new ones. After a little bit of more Q&A, Coulson announce that he had to leave.

"Captain, will you be so kind to show me the way?" Coulson asked politely. Steve was pretty sure that Coulson already knew the Compound better than he did but Steve could take a hint of someone wanting a private chat with him, Steve could feel the eyes of his teammates on him, he nodded and gave them a reassuring smile. Coulson said his goodbyes to the rest of the team and signaled Steve to lead the way. 

"So, you fucked up, Captain," Coulson said once they were outside. "I'm not going to tell you that you should have listened to him, that you should have trusted him, worked with him instead of against him because the past is the past and we can't change it even if we tried."

"What I am going to tell you is, I know you love him," Steve looked at him with surprise and fear. "Oh don't look so surprise, Captain. It's obvious, it has been obvious since the very beginning. Maybe not to you, maybe not to him, but it has been obvious for a lot of people for a very long time."

"My point is, you love him, you love your friends, your teammates, your family, you love this world. So, avenge them. Honor your name, live up to your name, to your job and avenge them. Promise me, Captain. Promise me that you will avenge them and fix this mess no matter what," Coulson looked at him hard, for a minute there he really missed the Coulson who was in awe of him.

"Sir, I promise to do whatever I can to fix this and avenge my people," Steve responded without breaking eye contact with Coulson. The Agent nodded once, probably satisfied with his answer.

"Good, that's all I ask, Captain. Give Mr. Stark my best when he comes back and tell him I hope we see each other again someday. Good luck on your mission, Captain." Steve nodded and the Agent turned to leave but Steve stopped him at the last second.

"Sir..." Coulson turned towards him and raised an eyebrow. "About... about him and my...my... you know my. . . you won't tell him, right?" Steve asked nervously. 

"No, Captain. I will not tell Mr. Stark about your feelings for him, that is not my job or place," Coulson reassured him, Steve sighed.

"Thanks, Agent. It's just... he doesn't..."

"Don't be so sure about things, Captain. You'll be surprise at everything that life can throw our way, never assumed things at first sight," Coulson told him but Steve still looked unsure.

"You know, when I first met Mr. Stark he lived in Malibu, he had an amazing workshop there. You know one of the things he was working on back then?" Steve shook his head.

"A replica of your shield." With that Coulson turned and left. Steve stayed there, rooted to the spot. He looked at the sky.

_Where are you, Tony?_

 

_**Day Six** _

 

The new statement that Rhodey released to the press seemed to be working wonders. People still blamed the Avengers, but now they were concentrating more on the real issue.

The new statement also included suggestions of how the people out there could help more, people seemed to be taking those suggestions to heart and was helping more out there.

Today, Rhodey had gone to Mexico with a bunch of Tony's suits, they were helping wherever they could. Bruce had gone to Brazil with the Hulkbuster and the Iron Legion. Coulson had sent some of his agents to South America and parts of Europe. Natasha had gone to Canada with some of her ex-S.H.I.E.L.D friends. Thor was somewhere in Asia and Rocket was flying all over the U.S with the rest of Natasha's friends. Steve had stayed at the Compound today to monitor his teammates and volunteers.

A video call appered on his screen and Steve answered without checking the Caller I.D and regretted it immediately.

"Captain Rogers, I see you're still here," Ross said in greeting. Steve really didn't like this new hologram thing Tony got going on with his calls. It almost felt as if he and Ross were in the same room.

"Mr. Secretary," Steve nodded at him.

"I wanted to talk to Rhodes but it seems that today is not my lucky day, I would have called sooner but this place has been a disaster for days." Steve nodded, he knew the government was having a hard time this week, many important people had been taken in the Snap, the President inlcuded.

"We understand, sir."

"Well, as I'm not sure when I would be able to call again, I want you to tell Rhodes that the U.N - or what's left of it anyway - has decided that the Accords and your criminal records had been put on hold until this mess with the Mad Titan Thanos has been resolved," Ross said and Steve nodded.

"Thank you, sir."

"Don't thank me yet, you're still criminals and as soon as you kill that bastard you and your merry band of so called heroes are going straight to prison." Ross sneared at him.

"Listen, Ross..."

"No, Rogers. You listen, the only reason why I'm not arresting you right now is because that thing took my daughter and grandchildren too and I want you to fix that and fast, understood?" Steve nodded.

Yes, Steve knew about Betty Ross and her children, Bruce added them to the List of the Vanished a few days ago, he still remembers the look of utter shock after Bruce found out that Betty's son was named Bruce.

"I might not be able to touch Banner," Ross continue. "Stark has him under too much protection and I need Stark on my side, not against me, I'm not a fool like others," Ross pointed at Steve. "But I don't think he cares much about what happens to you after what you did to him," Steve tensed, he started to dig his fingernails into his palms to not lose his control, he couldn't go to jail, not now.

"Oh yes, I spoke with Zemo, I know all about it. That man really knew where to hit you, didn't he? _He_ lost everyone and he only had to take away _one_ person from you to make you miserable, pathetic, really." Steve digged his nails deeper, he could feel the skin breaking.

"Do you think he'll ever forgive you? Do you think he'll ever love you? After what you did? After what your precious BFF did to his parents? Or what your other BFF did to his best friend, his brother? He'll never love you, he'll never forgive you, he's going to hate you forever." Steve could smell the blood now, he pressed harder.

"The sad part is, he loved you, he admire you, he trusted you, even when you fought, even when you did nothing to deserved it, even when he knew those feelings weren't mutual but then you threw all that out the window, such a shame. You know people have betrayed him before, many times. You wanna know where they are? Yeah, me too, it's a shame they never found the bodies." Steve's palms were starting to hurt now, he normally didn't feel any pain, those cuts were probably going to leave scars. Ross drew closer to him.

"Next time you see Tony..."  _Don't you dare call him Tony, you son of bitch!_ Ross smirked, probably guessing what was going through Steve's mind. "Next time you see _Tony_ , thank him," Ross said only inches from Steve's face now.

"For what?" Steve force out through gritted teeth.

"Your life," Ross said, Steve's eyes widened, he could feel the blood running through his fingers now. "If it hadn't been for him, you, your precious assassin, your two little bitches, those three mindless puppies who follow you around without question and probably their families and friends would be dead, during the RAFT breakout and after that, even before all of that, you all thought you were so lucky but you weren't. You just had a red and gold guardian angel on your back and didn't realize it." Ross disappeared then, Steve looked at his hands, they were full of blood.

 

_**Day Seven** _

 

It was already night time when they got back to the Compound after a long day of work on the streets. Everyone said their 'Hello's' and headed straight for the showers.

They reunited at the kitchen for dinner and then went to debrief, that's when it happened.

Fury's 'Pager' turned off. Rhodey noticed it first, Steve thought that maybe it ran out of battery or something but then they concluded that the signal had gone off because whoever was on the other end had turned it off, Natasha said that they needed to get the signal back up because she wanted to know who was on the other side of that signal, she wanted to know Fury's back up plan.

When Natasha turned around she found herself face to face with a woman. Steve noticed that she was almost the same height as Natasha, she had blonde hair and brown eyes and she was wearing red, blue and gold armor with a star on her chest. She was wearing the same colors and symbol as the signal of Fury's 'Pager'.

" _Where's Fury_?" The woman asked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Notes, notes, notes.
> 
> Day Five Notes: So this is not exactly canon complaint with Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D because I haven't watched that show in ages and I don't really know what the hell is going on in there. Sorry if my Coulson is a little OOC. Also I can't believe Coulson wasn't in Endgame! I can't believe Tony and Nat died without knowing that Coulson is alive! Another thing Bucky is added in the Black Panther's people and not as the Winter Soldier/White Wolf.
> 
> Day Six Notes: So I'm pretty sure that Ross gets Snapped in the MCU canon but I'm sure that's only because the Russos didn't want to touch CW with a ten foot pole. Also, I was rewatching CW to get a Evil!Ross vibe and Holy Shit I forgot how much of a villain Cap felt in this movie like how much do you have to fuck up to make the good main character feel like the villain? Damn, Russos.
> 
> Day Seven Notes: So it isn't specify in what day the post credits scene in CM is so I made her a week late to the party because I wanted my Avengers to be left alone for a while but hey she's here and the first post-snap week is up and soon we're going to get Tony!


	5. The Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carol gets a reason to kill Thanos. The Avengers realize they need more hands and Steve has a heart-to-heart with a special someone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Welcome back!
> 
> CHAPTER 5 NOTES: For the past 4 chapters I have been building Steve's mental health for this very moment. This is his breaking point, this is the point of no return, the birth of Endgame!Cap. He's finally letting go and becoming a new person.
> 
> I said this before and I'll say it again, it was confirmed that Steve suffered from depression and guilt post-CW, in Endgame I felt that he (along with everyone else) was suffering from survivor's guilt and blame. Some people believe he has PTSD and anxiety so I'm playing a little bit in that field. 
> 
> For those comic book fans out there the title of this chapter is giving you a major clue of what's coming next but anyway I can't go into too much detail about it here, read the end of the chapter for more notes about it. I know I have been a little hard on Cap but I promise this is the last of it (at least until Tony comes back).
> 
> I worked really hard on this, I hope you enjoy it.
> 
> So sorry for the delay guys, Mother's Day weekend has been crazy. No, I'm not a mom but I do have a mother who has a lot of children and grandchildren that can't never agree on a day to celebrate her so they have been coming since Thursday, I swear if I eat more cake, I'll get diabetes. 
> 
> Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers, grandmothers and Aunt May's out there. You deserve the world.
> 
> By the way, I couldn't stop listening to Dynasty by MIIA while writing this chapter for some reason. Like I'll pause the song and my inspiration would just go away, go check it out is a great song.
> 
> Maybe I'll make a playlist for this story. Are you interested in that?
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> All mistakes are mine and mine alone, English is not my first language so if you see any mistakes please feel free to tell me in the comments.
> 
> You can ask me anything in the comments or at tumblr (@tonidanvers)

 

 

 

> _Thought we built a dynasty that heaven couldn't shake. Thought we built a dynasty like nothing ever made. Thought we built a dynasty forever couldn't break up._
> 
> -  ** _[Dynasty by MIIA](https://youtu.be/5-ZiKXrnvog)_**
> 
> * * *
> 
>  

 

The day Steve Rogers met Tony Stark, he was impressed. The guy had gone toe-to-toe with two gods without hesitation.

He had also been very jugmental. He had read a lot about him before.

Volatile, aggressive, egocentric, narcissistic, don't play well with others, playboy, arrogant, among many other things were mentioned. Steve believed them.

That was his first mistake.

Steve Rogers could recognize a soldier from a mile away. Tony Stark was a soldier even if he denied it.

The way he held himself, the way he spoke and the way he shielded himself from everyone else were big clues.

But it was the look in his eyes that convinced Steve.

Tony Stark had the eyes of a man who had seen too much, lived too much, who had gone to hell and back and knew that he'll go back again someday.

But like everyone else, Steve fell into the trap. His attention was on the showman, not what was going on behind the scenes.

That was his second mistake.

People think that Iron Man is the armor. They're wrong, the real armor is Tony Stark.

The day Steve Rogers met Tony Stark, he saw a world full of what-ifs.

Steve knew Peggy and Howard had been friends during the war and continue to be friends after it.

That's when the what-ifs started.

What if he hadn't gone into the ice?

What if he had married Peggy and continue to be friends with Howard Stark?

What if he had been there when Tony was born?

What if he had become Uncle Steve?

The first time Steve Rogers met Tony Stark, he had looked at him and tried to see Howard Stark, tried to see the past.

That was his third mistake.

Tony Stark wasn't Steve Rogers past.

Tony Stark was Steve Rogers future.

Too bad he realize it too late.

* * *

 

_**Day Eight** _

 

Fury's back up plan turned out to be a woman with incredible powers. With magnificent gifts and skills.

Her name was Carol Danvers, code name Captain Marvel, in honor of her late mentor, another amazing woman named Mar-Vell.

Her story was very interesting.

She told them her story and they told her about Thanos. She said she had heard of him before and told them what she knew.

After that she had excused herself and left in a burst of light.

She came back half an hour later, thirsty for vengance and with two new names for to the List.

Maria and Monica Rambeau.

They didn't ask, she didn't elaborate.

After that she gave them a little device that she called a 'Communicator' and went back to Space.

She said she knew people who might know where Thanos was and went to talk to her 'Contacts'.

"So what did you guys thought of Miss Carol Stark-Rogers over there?" Rhodey asked with a smirk.

"Stark-Rogers?!" Steve asked in alarm.

"Well, Cap. You can't deny that she's like a female version of you and Tony combined." Rhodey said.

"And well she has the blonde hair and the brown eyes and a Stark-Rogers attitude." Nat said with a shrug.

"She also wears a star on her chest and an armor that is red, blue and gold." Thor noted.

"I have never seen the Iron Man in person only in videos but this chick does seems to have the powers of the two of you, in a way." Rocket added.

"And her backstory is kind of like a combined version of your backstory and Tony's backstory." Bruce said with a small smile.

"Come on, Cap. Tell me she didn't remind you of you and Tony?" Rhodey asked.

To be fair, yes. Carol Danvers had reminded Steve a lot of Tony and sometimes of himself. But that didn't mean that she was his and Tony's lovechild.

"Relax, Steve. We're joking. Come on, Avengers. Let's go to bed, we have a long day ahead of us tomorrow." Nat said and everyone headed to their rooms.

Once in bed, Steve couldn't deny that the name Stark-Rogers had sounded very well together. That night he was sure that he slept with a goofy smile on his face.

 

_**Day Nine** _

 

Natasha had been right, they did had a long day.

The media was asking for more information, going so far as to camp outside the Compound.

The public started to rally. They walked the streets with pictures of the people that had been taken on the Snap. The word 'Missing' was in every picture.

The people were blaming the Avengers even more and more now. They started to attack them on the streets, making it harder to go out there and help wherever people still needed help.

Steve looked at his team. Rhodey had come back with three of Tony's suits in need of some serious repairs and with his War Machine armor full of bullet holes.

Bruce had returned with the Iron Legion and the Hulkbuster full of 'Missing' posters.

Natasha had returned with a split lip and food all over her hair and clothes.

Steve knew that some of the S.H.I.E.L.D agents he had been working with today looked worse than Natasha.

Thor and Rocket had been flying on the Quinjet and had been the least affected by all of this. Only getting attacked when they landed on the streets to help.

It wasn't just the good people that were attacking them. The 'bad guys' had already regrouped and were starting to cause trouble again, taking advantage of this horrible situation.

Steve sighed and sent the team to take a shower and patch themselves up a little before debriefing and dinner.

 

_**Day Ten** _

 

There were more reporters outside today.

The Avengers were all over the news.

'Coward Avengers' One reported called them.

'What are they hiding?' One of them asked.

'Why aren't they doing anything?'

'Why aren't they looking for Thanos?'

'When are we getting our people back?'

'Avenge them, Avenge them, Avenge them!'

Someone turned the T.V off.

Steve turned around, it was Natasha.

No one had gone out today. Not after what happened yesterday, maybe they were cowards.

"You shouldn't listen to them," Nat told him. She was looking at the holomaps.

There were many places where their help was still needed, there were many people out there who still needed their help, but their hands were tied. They also needed more hands.

"You shouldn't be looking at those," Steve told her. Natasha only sighed and ignored him.

"We need more people, we need more hands. The S.H.I.E.L.D agents, the authorities and the volunteers help but  _we_  need more people," Steve said and Nat nodded.

"Yeah, we really do. Can you believe that all of this started with just six of us?"

Steve was about to reply but was interrupted by Rhodey, Bruce, Thor and Rocket bursting into the room.

" _We have a problem."_  They all said in unison, it would have been funny if they weren't wearing such tragic expressions.

Both Rhodey and Bruce were holding a tablet in their hands, but while Rhodey looked worried and panicked, Bruce looked like if he was about to throw up.

Rocket seemed out of breath and was pointing frantically outside. While Thor was clutching a device in his hands and waving it wildly around with a look of utter shock.

"What's wrong?" Natasha asked. It was a huge mistake.

"You guys won't believe this, my people..."

"The government are..."

"You all need to see this immediately..."

"Those guys from outside..."

"Guys, guys, guys. Slow down..." They all started talking at once.

For a moment Steve was in another time, in another place.

He wasn't Steve Rogers, leader of the Avengers and Super-Soldier.

He was ten-year-old Steve Rogers, in his old Brooklyn appartment suffering from an ear inffection.

The voices and noises were getting too loud, his teammates breathing turned into the loud music of his neighbours, the voices of his friends became the screams and laughter of the kids playing outside, the humming of Tony's tech became the hummimg his Ma did every time she cooked, the noises from the reporters outside became the noises of the Brooklyn traffic and it was unbearable. 

Steve's hands twitched, his ears started throbbing, his heart started beating too fast, his breathing started to get out of control, it reminded Steve of a panic attack. He wanted to shake his head and press his hands over his ears and hard.

He wanted silence.

 He needed silence.

He needed...

" _SILENCE_!"

Steve didn't mean to, he really didn't mean to, but he shouted at his team anyway.

They all turned to look at him in shock.

Steve shook his head and the memories disappeared.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry. I didn't mean to, sorry. Just one at a time, please?" Steve said and they all nodded.

"Okay, okay, good." Steve looked around, they were all silently looking at him.

"Rhodes, what do you have for me? What's wrong?" Rhodey looked a little unsure for a moment but then he sighed and gave Steve the tablet he had in his hands.

"The government and the U.N seem to have regrouped earlier than we thought. The new President and the new representatives of the United Nations are asking for a meeting with us, ASAP." Rhodey's tablet was full of messages from the U.S. government and the U.N asking to meet with at least one of the current members of the Avengers as soon as possible.

Steve sighed. "Okay, okay, we'll figure that in a minute." Steve passed the tablet back to Rhodey and looked around.

"Okay, Rocket, what's wrong?"

"Those guys from outside? The ones who ask a lot of questions? You remember them?" Rocket asked.

"Yes, the reporters, what about them?"

"Well they aren't outside anymore, they're inside, they started to climb those metal things you call gates, take a look," Rocket pointed at the window.

Sure enough there was a guy with a camera a few meters away, he was trying to hide in some bushes but you could still clearly see the flashes.

Steve was sure that if he looked harder he'll find more of them.

"What are those white balls in the grass?" Natasha asked.

Steve's eyes lowered to the ground, the grass was full of little white balls. Steve frowned.

"Remember those guys on the streets yesterday? Well they found us and started throwing this." Rocket gave him one of the little balls.

Now that Steve has it in his hands Steve could see that it wasn't a ball, it was a rock wrapped in white office paper.

Unwrapping the paper Steve found out that the paper was one of those 'Missing' posters from the streets.

It had the picture of a blue-eyed, dark-haired toddler and a blonde and blue-eyed girl.

In the picture the girl, who was the oldest, was hugging the little boy from behind, the both of them giving toothy grins to the camera.

The picture only said: Tristan and Diana Smith, 3 and 7.

And below that: Avenge Them.

Steve swallowed hard.

"Okay, okay. Thor?" Thor looked unsure, looking from the paper that Steve was clutching in his right hand to Steve's face and back again.

After a beat or two he nodded and smiled a little.

"A few days ago Rocket started building a device that would be able to help us communicate with our people in Space, he hasn't receive anything from his ship but I manage to talk with my people, they're on their way to Earth." Steve sighed in relief, finally some good news, Thor looked so happy.

Steve realize that he hadn't seen Thor smile since Wakanda.

"That's great, buddy!" Steve said and the others agreed, congratulating Thor but the god only shook his head.

"Yes, its great but I don't know what to do, my people have nowhere to stay here." Steve groaned.

Why? Why couldn't good news stay good news for a little while.

"We'll figure it out, Thor. Don't worry. Bruce?" Banner didn't seem as shaken as before but he was still holding his tablet tightly. Steve could see that Bruce's knuckles had gone white.

"You guys need to see this." He said, Bruce tapped his tablet a couple of times and one of the big screens came to life.

It was a video.

The video started on a warehouse, there were a lot of men dressed in black and heavily armed. They were torturing their hostages, the video had no audio so they couldn't hear what they were saying.

Suddenly they were interrupted by a man, the way he was dressed reminded Steve of those assassins that were in every movie and video game Clint liked to play so much back when they lived at Avengers Tower.

The men in black pointed their guns at the man, the man seemed to be telling them something one of the criminals, probably the leader shook his head at the man, said something to him and fired his gun, the man moved out of the way, unharmed. The man started attacking the men in black with a sword and throwing knives, the way the man fought, the level of violence was horrifying.

Steve knew the men were criminals but he couldn't help but feel bad about them, they were being murdered in cold blood, a few minutes later all the men in black were on the floor, none of them seemed to be moving, they were all dead.

The vigilante, for lack of a better word, headed straight for the hostages, they seemed to be scared of him. Steve could feel the tension rising in the room, but he couldn't take his eyes away from the video.

The man pulled out a knife, Steve could see that the hostages flinched and were trying to back away from him, but the man only cut their ropes and pointed at the door.

Natasha started crying, Steve asked F.R.I.D.A.Y to pause the video and looked at her.

"Nat, what's wrong?" Steve asked her.

" _It's him."_  She said.

"Who? Natasha do you know this man?" Rhodey asked before Steve could, Nat let out a sob and nodded.

"We all do," she said. "It's Clint."

Steve saw Rhodey and Thor's eyes widen in surprise, he took a look at Bruce and Steve knew that Natasha was telling the true. Bruce didn't look surprise, he looked sad.

"Wait, wait, wait. That's Barton?!" Rhodey asked in alarm while Thor shook his head, he didn't believe it.

"No, it can't be." Thor said.

"Unpause the video, F.R.I.D.A.Y." Bruce told the A.I and they all looked at the screen again.

After the hostages left the man took a look at the floor, he picked up his sword and cleaned it in one of his sleeves, the man took his hood and mask away and turned to the camera.

It was _him_.

It was Clint Barton.

Clint took an arrow from his quiver and prepared his bow, he pointed at them and let go, he shoot an arrow straight to the camera, the screen went black.

_I never miss._

The room was quiet after that, you could only hear Natasha's quiet sobs and hiccups.

Steve has never seen her like this, he saw her tears at Wakanda and after she found out that Laura and her niece and nephews were gone, her quiet distress after learning that Fury and Hill were taken on the Snap, but never like this, full out sobbing, big fat tears coming one after the other one, shoulders shaking while she let out sob after sob.

Bruce hugged her and she only seemed to cry harder.

They say that when you died your whole life flashes before you. What Steve was experiencing right now was kind of like that, except that instead of his life, the flashes were moments he had seen Nat and Clint shared all over the years.

It started in 2012, with Agent Romanoff desperately looking at the screens searching for Agent Barton, Natasha and Clint in the Helicarrier's medbay.

Nat and Clint during the invasion, side by side, one shooting bullets while the other one shoots arrows, Nat and Clint sharing a drink at Stark Tower after the invasion and later eating Shawarma.

Natasha wearing that arrow necklace that she said was a gift from Clint, the both of them at the Tower playing video games, watching movies, playing pranks on them, training together, having food fights, teaching Tony how to fight, teaching Steve how to shoot an arrow, teaching Thor about our culture and teaching Bruce different languages.

Nat and Clint playing with Lila and Cooper at the farm, fighting Ultron, video chatting one another, fighting one another in Germany.

Natasha waiting for them at Clint's house, asking them for a ride and hugging Clint goodbye, and many, many more.

Looking at Thor, Rhodey, Bruce and Natasha you could imagine that they had just lost a friend and were mourning him, but Clint wasn't dead, he was just misguided.

"I'm sorry to be this person but who is that guy?" Rocket asked apologetically.

"Clint Barton is one of the founding Avengers, one of the original six," Rhodey answered. "The first time the Avengers were formed was six years ago with only six members, Captain America, Iron Man, Thor, the Hulk, Hawkeye and Black Widow. Clint Barton was Hawkeye, a great combatant and expert marksman, he retired two years ago to be with his family but they were taken on the Snap." Rhodey explained and Rocket got this look of understanding in his eyes.

Steve remembered the stories Rocket had told them about his team and Steve knew that somehow Rocket understood what they were going through right now.

"Okay, so what are we going to do?" Rocket asked and they all turned to look at Steve, expecting an answer. 

Natasha with her puffy red eyes and running nose, Bruce looking sorry for having to show that video but knowing that he had to, Thor who had been smiling a few minutes ago looking like if he had lost another friend and Rhodey and Rocket looking worried and sad. 

Steve never felt so helpless, so alone, his side never felt so empty, someone was missing, someone needed to be there right by his side, he couldn't do this alone. Steve closed his eyes.

_Actually, he's the boss. I just pay for everything, design everything and make everyone look cooler._

_Come on, Rogers._

_Get it together, your team needs you._

Steve took a deep breath and nodded at them.

"Okay, F.R.I.D.A.Y,  I need you to tell the Iron Legion to go outside and tell the reporters to go, if they resist, use force or call the police, tell them to pick the rocks the people have been throwing at us and bring them to me, scan the Compound for any bugs or hidden cameras, check the vents for any intruders and lock every window and door, Private Mode on." Steve told the A.I, not even half a second later the windows started turning black.

"On it, Captain." The A.I answered.

Steve could hear the Iron Legion leaving the Compound and the doors and windows lock with a soft click.

F.R.I.D.A.Y turned the lights on and put up a map of the Compound, the scanners for unauthorized bugs or cameras came out clean as well as the scanners for intruders, all the doors and windows were now locked.

She also put up footage from outside, Steve and the rest of the team could see the Iron Legion looking for intruders and picking the rocks from outside.

So far it seemed that all the reporters were leaving without the need to use force. The reporters had been lucky, they hadn't triggered any of Tony's traps.

"Okay, Rhodes, send a message to the U.N and the U.S government, ask them how they want to do this, in person or via video chat and when." Rhodey nodded and left, tablet in hand.

"Bruce, I need you to look for any more of those videos, if you find anything that you think could be Clint related you send it to me, okay?" Bruce nodded.

"Natasha, I need you to work with F.R.I.D.A.Y in finding Barton, check everywhere, try to remember any safe house or safe place he might have, try to contact him, I need to know where he is so we can bring him back home." Natasha nodded and wiped her tears away, both Bruce and Natasha sat at one of the holotables, tapping away at it and giving command after command to F.R.I.D.A.Y.

"Rocket, keep trying to contact your teammates and tell Rhodey to show you to one of the workshops, see if you can fix some of the damage our equipment got yesterday." Rocket nodded and left to find Rhodey.

"Thor, keep in touch with your people, find out how many are we expecting, how many children, how many elders, how many women and how many men, find out if any of them need medical help so we can be prepare when they get here, we'll figure where to house them later." Thor nodded but before he could leave he was stopped by F.R.I.D.A.Y.

"Captain, if I may. The Starks own a private Island not too far away from here is very secure, it has a hotel and a mansion among other things, you could house the Asgardians there for the meantime, I'm sure boss wouldn't mind and neither would Ms. Potts."  _God,_ _Tony, your children are the best._ Thor smiled and thanked the A.I. before leaving.

Steve asked F.R.I.D.A.Y to ask Pepper for permission and to check if Stark Bay, had enough supplies and personeel to help the Asgardians.

By the time Steve was done giving commands the Iron Legion was back, one of them gave Steve two trash bags full of rocks, Steve thanked them and went straight to his old office.

 _309_ , that's how many rocks the Iron Legion had collected.

309 pictures of people who had turned to dust, 309 pictures of people who were no more, people who didn't get a chance to live their lives, who didn't even know what was happening when they died, people who didn't get to say goodbye to their loved ones, whose last wish died with them.

Many of the pictures were of babies, kids and teenagers, that ones hurt the most, those kids didn't look a day older than seventeen or eighteen.

Some were of elders, others were of young couples on their wedding day, their engagement, Valentine's Day, there was even one of a young couple announcing their pregnancy.

_It's a Boy!_

_Due July 2018_

Steve had already memorized the names, the faces and the ages of all of them.

_Natalie, Marina, Scarlett, Sabrina, Anne, Talia, Samantha, April, Felicity, Ava, Carol, Jasmine, Monica, Ashley, Brenda, Ruby, Elizabeth, Maria, Valerie, Juliet, Emily, Lily, Antonia, Esmeralda, Alison, Emma, Sophia, Christine, Dora, Amy, Veronica, Regina, Serena, Linda, Mia, Rose, Summer, Grace, Isabella._

_Patrick, Robert, Christopher, Matthew, Thaddeus, Peter, John, Mark, Tristan, Jared, Dean, Brandon, Damian, Oscar, Alexander, Edward, Paul, Victor, Richard, Jonathan, Drew, Carlos, Oliver, Thomas, Nathan, Aaron, David, Miles, Martin, George, Benjamin, Justin, Matteo, Stephen, Joseph, Luis, Blake, Adam, Brian._

_Nancy & Nathan _

_Christina & Robert _

_Morgan & Taylor _

_Sebastian & Selena _

_Patrick & Mary _

_Stephanie & Anthony _

_Michelle & Maria _

_Anna and Jackson_

_Erik & Erick _

_Jessica & Jane _

_Bruce & Jeremy _

_Payton & Cameron_

_Carmen & David_

_Emilia & John _

_Bethany & Josh _

And many, many more.

It was hard, painful even, to look at all those happy faces and know that those smiles were erased from existance and it was all your fault.

_We failed you._

_We're sorry._

But sorry didn't cut it, 309 pictures were asking for one thing and one thing only.

_Avenge Them_

But Steve didn't know how, he didn't know how to avenge this people, he didn't even know where to start, they had been looking for Thanos for days and nothing had come up.

_First Avenger._

_What a joke._

Rocket says that if Thanos uses the stones again it'll be easier to know his location, but the Mad Titan hasn't done anything with the stones since _that day_.

Part of Steve was grateful that Thanos hadn't done anything more with the stones, God only knows what that monster will do the next time he uses them, but the other part of Steve was frustated, if Thanos uses the stones one more time they'll be able to catch him.

Steve threw a rock at a window in his frustation, it didn't break, of course it didn't break, it'll take more than a stupid rock to break that glass.

_Stupid fancy bulletproof glass._

Steve looked at his side, eyes landing on Tony's desk.

While Steve's side of their office looked the same as before, dancing monkey and all, Tony's side changed a lot in two years.

Steve looked around their office, the wall with the big 'A' and their symbols, now joined by Spider-Man's, was still there.

Steve couldn't help it, he smiled when he saw that their symbols were still there, that Tony hadn't taken them out.

The big framed pictures of the two Avengers teams, the orginal six and the pre-Civil War team, were still hanging on the wall, now joined by a picture of Iron Man with Vision to his left side and War Machine to his right side.

Steve remembers seeing that picture in magazines and newspapers, back in 2016.

Steve remembers the headlines 'The Avengers or the Three-Vengers?' and 'Who will be Iron Man's second-in-command the cripple or the android?'

Steve had hated all of those headlines and articles but he still got one of those magazines just to have a picture of his old friends with him.

When they moved to the Compound, Tony and Clint had just retired, Clint had two rooms in here, one for him and his wife and the other one for his kids, he and his family sometimes visited them before the Civil War.

Tony also had a room in here, a workshop and an office that he shared with Steve.

He visited more often than Clint, manly to fix their equipment and add new tech to the place, or to hang out with Rhodey.

Steve knew that after the Civil War, Tony had moved here, he even sold Avengers Tower.

Before Tony's side of the office had been, well, plain and simple.

An old desk and office chair, computer and phone and that was pretty much it.

But now it was clear that Tony spend a lot of his time in here.

The tech had been updated and new additions were added, they were more screens now, one even had a Spider-Man sticker on it with the words 'Baby Monitor' on it.

_Baby Monitor?_

_Seriously, Tony?_

Steve's lips twitched, he was sure there was a joke in there somewhere, he just didn't know it.

A holotable had been added. Along with a black couch, a coffee maker and a table with chairs.

There was a blue hoodie in the couch, it seemed too small to be Tony's or Rhodey's.

A _Harry Potter_ book was on the table along with an unopened box of cookies, it had a sticky note on it.

 

> _Thank you for looking after him, I own you one. Enjoy!_
> 
> _P.S: Don't worry, I didn't made them, I bought them ;)_
> 
> _\- May_

Steve still didn't know who May was but so far she seemed to be a good friend.

There was a Spider-Man themed calendar on the wall, it was still on the month of April, Steve took the liberty to change it to May.

The two coffee mugs near the coffee maker weren't the Stark Industries ones that Steve was so familiar with but new ones, both of them white, one had the words 'Iron Patriot Sucks' in red and blue and the other one had the words 'I am Tony Stank' in red and gold, probably more inside jokes between Rhodey and Tony, Steve knew they had a lot of those.

But the more surprising thing about Tony's office were the pictures and the decor.

Tony had two figurines on his desk, one was of Iron Man and the other was of Spider-Man, Tony's figurine said 'Iron Man' while Spider-Man's said 'Spider-Baby', clearly it was another inside joke.

He also had a framed drawing of a face, half of it was the Iron Man faceplate and the other half was the Spider-Man mask, the words 'Shellhead and Spidey' were in red and blue at the bottom.

There were pictures on the desk, some Steve had seen before in Tony's Instagram and others he had never seen before.

There were the obvious ones, a picture of Tony and Pepper at a gala, a picture of a young Tony and Rhodey wearing matching MIT sweaters and posing with Dum-E and one of Howard and Maria Stark with a young Tony.

But there were others that surprised Steve, one of Tony and that kid, Peter Parker, holding a Stark Intership certificate upside down and giving bunny ears to each other.

That one Steve had seen in Tony's Instagram, Tony had congratulated the kid, called him a genius and told him he was proud of him in his caption, Steve had liked that picture, well @josephgrant45 had liked that picture.

Another one was of Iron Man high fiving Spider-Man, you could see two guys webbed to the wall behind them.

Steve saw that video on YouTube.

Two guys had been using alien tech to rob banks, they were holding hostages in a bank in Queens, Spider-Man and Iron Man had showed up, Tony had sent two repulsors straight at the guys sending the criminals straight to a wall where Spider-Man had webbed them, after that they turned around, high fived each other and left the police and everyone behind open mouthed.

Steve, Sam and Natasha had laughed so hard seeing that video, the faces of everyone had been hilarious.

The last picture broke Steve's heart, it had been taken in one of the Compound's common rooms and it was clearly a party.

Peter Parker was sitting in the middle of a couch, holding a puppy with dark fur and grey eyes in his arms, Steve had seen that pup running around the Compound these past days, Rhodey called it 'Sirius'.

Tony was sitting at Peter's right side one arm around Peter and the other one around Pepper, Rhodey was sitting on the armchair beside Pepper.

A brown-eyed, brown-haired woman, Steve didn't recognize was sitting to Peter's left side, one of her arms was around Peter's waist and the other one was around Happy's shoulders, Vision, in his human disguised, was sitting on the armchair beside Happy.

Behind them were three kids, three kids Steve recognize from the List.

Ned Leeds, Michelle Jones and Harley Keener.

The girl, Michelle, was giving Peter bunny ears while the boys were doing that sign Steve now knows  comes from Star Trek.

In front of them was a table full of gifts and a cake with the words 'Happy Birthday, Peter' on it.

_311_

311 pictures of people who were no more Steve had seen today, he remembers all of their names, he can add more to the list now.

_Peter Parker, Michelle Jones, Harley Keener, Ned Leeds, Spider-Man and Vision._

_We failed you, I'm sorry._

Steve is sure that this pictures are going to break Tony's heart and give him nightmares once he returns.

Steve took the picture of Tony and Peter in his hands, remembering every picture and video of the two of them that he had seen in Tony's social media or the web.

They seemed to be really close and every picture and video of them was very cute.

Steve remembers that at first the media thought that Peter was actually Tony's illegitimate son.

Steve couldn't deny that Tony and Peter looked very alike, someone even found a picture of a young Tony and merged it with one of Peter's.

No one could deny their resemblance after that.

Some people even say that Peter had Tony's eyes and yeah, Steve could agree with that.

Peter and Tony never denied or confirmed any of those rumors.

Tony only asked the media to leave the kid alone or he'll sue them for invading a minor's privacy, the media stopped after that, only photographing Peter when he was with Tony.

Steve looked at Peter's mischievous smile and too smart brown eyes. _God, Tony are you sure he's not yours._

Steve wondered how it happened.

Did he know what was happening?

Was he in school? Writing in his notebook when it happened.

Was he with his friends? Doing his homework with them.

Eating with his parents?

At the store?

At the park?

At the school gym?

Was he at Stark Industries? Worrying about Tony.

Did he saw his friends or family go before him?

Or was he alone? Scared not knowing what was happening.

According to his birthday picture, the kid was only sixteen years old, so young, so bright, so full of life.

He had all his life in front of him and it was taken away from him.

Steve could feel his eyes burning.

_No, no, no. Not again, not anymore._

He couldn't cry again, he had cried for Bucky, for Sam, for Wanda and Vision, for T'Challa and Shuri, for Tony and for everyone else that had been taken away from them.

He couldn't cry for a kid that he didn't even know.

_But Tony knew him, Tony loved him, he was Tony's kid._

Steve knew that it wasn't just the fact that Tony had pictures of people he considered friends and family in here that got to him, it was the fact that Tony had pictures of people he considered friends and family in here and Steve and the Avengers weren't in any of them.

No Steve, no Nat, no Clint, no Thor, not even Bruce.

There was no place for them in Tony's desk, in Tony's friends, in Tony's family, in Tony's heart, in Tony's life.

Not anymore.

Steve didn't know where the feeling or the idea came from but he put the picture of Tony and Peter back to its place and left his office, his feet and legs taking him through a familiar path.

He found himself in front of a room, a room Tony had designed for them to keep their suits and weapons.

He put his hand on the screen and waited.

The door opened with a soft hiss.

The room wasn't an armoury or a dressing room, even though they all called it like that or some variation of those names.

Wanda used to called it the 'Superhero Closet'.

It was just a room full of metal doors, labeled with their code names.

Steve knew that behind some of those doors there were no suits, they had taken the suits with them when they left.

Steve looked around.

_Scarlet Witch_

_Vision_

_Falcon_

_War Machine_

_Black Widow_

_Hawkeye_

_Thor_

_Hulk_

Steve smiled when he noticed that there was even a Spider-Man one.

But there in the middle were the doors Steve had come here for.

_Captain America and Iron Man_

Steve knew that behind the Captain America one there was nothing, he had taken his suit with him when he left, he still uses it sometimes when he goes on patrols.

He went straight to the Iron Man one, he wondered if there was a suit in there.

Steve knew that Rhodey had an override, probably Pepper had one too, Steve used to had one too, for emergencies, he wondered if it still worked.

Steve pressed his hand to the screen and waited.

"Voice recognition required." F.R.I.D.A.Y's voice said.

"Rogers"

"Welcome, Captain Rogers." F.R.I.D.A.Y said. "How may I be of assistance today?" The A.I asked.

"I want to know if there is a suit inside." The A.I was quiet for a minute, "F.R.I.D.A.Y, is there a suit inside?" Steve asked again.

"Yes," The A.I answered "But no one can access it without Mr. Stark's permission." Steve already knew that, he just needed to know if there was a suit inside before he did what he was thinking of doing.

"F.R.I.D.A.Y, Black Out Mode on." The A.I went quiet.

Black Out Mode was an option they had to keep the A.Is away from private conversations or meetings.

It also deactivated the audio and cameras, even the hidden ones.

Steve turned around and locked the room from the inside.

No one could come inside unless he lets them.

He only hoped the A.I didn't tell the others where Steve was.

Steve put his hand in the screen again, he closed his eyes and said "Override: Steve Rogers: 34-44-54-64," and waited.

"Voice recognition: Captain Steven Grant Rogers. Code name: Captain America. Team designation: Co-Leader. Override: CA-1," A female mechanical voice said "Access..."

Steve held his breath and closed his eyes even tighter

"Granted." Steve's eyes flew open and a surprise gasp escaped his lips.

"Welcome, Captain America." The same mechanical voice from before said as the door opened and Tony's armor came to life.

_Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God._

_It works, it works, it works._

_The override works._

_Oh, Tony._

_Oh, Tony._

Steve's knees hit the floor with a soft thud, he couldn't stop staring at Tony's armor in wonder, it was one of the new designs and it was beautiful.

Steve still couldn't believe that his plan actually worked, that his override was still active, in Tony's new suits, no less.

Steve didn't know how much time he spend looking at the armor, he didn't know where the words started to come from, maybe it was because looking at Tony's armor, that soft blue light coming from the eyes, the palms and the Reactor, it looked so alive, as if Tony was inside the armor, looking at him, listening to him.

"You should be here," Steve started and after those first words the dam broke, "You should be here!" He said louder.

"You should be here, you should be here by my side, fighting by my side, you should be here with me, with us. You'll hate this, you'll hate what's going on out there, you'll hate what Thanos did and is doing to our people and you'll put everyone in their places. I can't do this alone, I can't do this, not without you, they expect me to be a leader, to have all the answers, to fix this, but I can't, I don't know how to fix this, you would know. I know you would, that's what you do, you're the mechanic, you fix things, I'm just a soldier. The only thing that I know how do is fight, follow or give orders. I don't even know if I can live without a war, I mean I was literally made for war." Steve's knees started to hurt, so he adjusted himself, so he was sitting cross legged, instead of on his knees.

"The team is falling apart or better said what's left of the team is falling apart."

"Thor is depressed, he lost his father, his home, his brother, his people, he even lost his hammer. Thanos messed with his head, he thinks all of this is his fault, he eats a lot, he drinks too much and he's so quiet, no more of that booming voice, he doesn't smile anymore, just sits there and stares at nothing and drinks and drinks, and drinks."

"Bruce can't turn into the Hulk anymore, you'll think he'll be happy about that, but he's not. He has been trying to turn into the Hulk again, researching, experimenting, meditating, but... nothing. I think, I think the Hulk is scared of Thanos. Can you believe that? That someone like the Hulk can get scared? I couldn't until I saw him, until I saw that monster and people started telling me about him, the most scary part about him is that he thinks what he's doing is right, that he's the good guy, that he's doing us a favor and we should be grateful, that's what makes him dangerous."

_Did Mr. Stark tell you anything else?_

_That you're wrong, but you think you're right and that makes you dangerous._

_Guess he had a point._

"Rhodey lost his niece and he hasn't been able to go check on his parents because he has been so busy with patrols and the government. He's stressed, he tries to be strong but he has so much pressure on his shoulders right now, he has been dealing with the media and the U.N and their eating him alive. I worry about him, I feel like he's going to explode any minute, he misses you, he's trying to hide it but I can see the way he looks at your suits, how he looks at the sky, hoping that maybe you'll be there, but you're not, you're not."

"Thor brought a little guy with him. He's name is Rocket, he's... well he looks like a raccoon, he talks by the way. Yeah, its crazy, right? I think you'll like him, he says that he's part of this team called the Guardians of the Galaxy. They sound crazy, they sound like good people but kind of crazy, you know. He misses them, he doesn't say it but I think that's the only family he has ever known, especially that tree, I think he sees him as his son. I don't know these people but I hope they're okay, I don't know what Rocket will do if they're gone."

"Clint has been killing people, his whole family is gone and we can't find him, he's killing criminals, I don't know what's going through his head. Maybe he thinks that's the only way he can help, maybe that's the only way he thinks he can avenge, or maybe is revenge, I don't know. Maybe he's mad because the bad guys are still out there while the good guys are gone. I really don't know and I'm so worried about him, I worry that he'll lose himself, that he'll go so far that we won't be able to help him, that we won't be able to bring him back up, back to us, back home, where he belongs."

"Natasha has been crying almost everyday now. Yeah, you heard that right. _Natasha has been crying_. I'm surprise, too. The Avengers and the Bartons are her only family, the only family she has ever known and now part of that family is gone and she's slowly losing Clint too. She wants to fix this but she doesn't know how to, no one does, we all are slowly losing hope."

"We lost Vision, Wanda and Sam. Wanda and Sam were taken on the Snap but Vision, he was... he was killed by Thanos. T'Challa and his sister were also taken, Wakanda is mourning them. Fury and Hill are gone too, Fury knows this woman, she has great powers but I don't think she likes us, I don't really think she's a team player or maybe she just needs a little bit of more time with us, to see if she can truly trust us. Coulson is alive, did you know that? I know, its hard to believe, Fury and his spy games, right? Anyway, Coulson sends you his best and he hopes he sees you again someday."

"Do you remember when we lived at the Tower and the Avengers joked about being our kids and called us Mom and Dad? God, what happened to us? What did we do? We broke our family apart and Thanos is slowly killing it. Our family is falling apart, turning to dust, literally."

"Back in 2012, after the battle, I looked at us and saw something amazing, this group of misfits with incredible powers, talents and skills came together to fight for their country, for their home, for their people, for a moment there I thought we were invincible, unbreakable. Back then we weren't a team or a family but we were something else, we were a group of people that had so much potential to be great but, but, but we blew it. Vision was right, our own strength and power invites challenges to our door, we bring destruction everywhere we go. We failed, we started with something beautiful, with something incredible and we ended with everything broken, with ashes in the wind."

Steve had to paused for a minute, to wipe his tears with his sleeve and take a few deep breaths, he had started crying a while ago and his voice was already breaking and his nose was running, his eyes burned.

"I, I, I don't know what to do, the people out there they're blaming us, I mean they're not wrong but I don't think they understand that we lost people too. They hate us, they're asking us to avenge the people that were taken but I feel like some part of them don't even believe that we can, they lost hope in us, they don't believe in us anymore."

"I, I need to tell you something, this is probably going to hurt you so much but you need to know, your kid, Peter Parker, he... he's gone too, his friends also. I don't know how it happened but I know you love that kid, I can see it in your eyes even if is only through pictures and videos, I'm sorry about Peter. I truly am."

"I, I, I, I don't really know if I should tell you this but, but I, I lost Bucky too. Ironic, right? I fought my friends, the goverment, the whole damn world because I didn't want to lose him and Thanos took him away with just a snap of his fingers."

"When I woke up in this century, I had no one, I had nothing, everyone that I ever knew, everyone that I ever loved were gone or too old and could barely recognize me. Everything that I ever knew was gone too or was too different from before, I felt so alone, like I didn't belong here, it was a nightmare. Everything and everyone were so different, I didn't even understand the way people talked."

"Nick Fury tried to give me a purpose and somewhere to belong with S.H.I.E.L.D and the Avengers, you tried to give me a home at the Tower. You and the Avengers tried to give me a family, some friends and I didn't see it. I was so stuck in the past, so stubborn on not moving on that I didn't see what was right there in front of my eyes."

"Then I found Bucky and it was amazing because finally, finally I had a little bit of my old life back and I didn't want to lose it again, I didn't want to give it up again, it wouldn't be the same, I knew it wouldn't but I couldn't stop, a part of the old me was right there in front of me and I wanted it so badly that I was blinded by it."

"The sad part is Bucky doesn't even deserved what I did. Back in the 40s he got pulled into a war, he had to put his life on hold to go fight a war for his country, later he got pulled into a war with HYDRA to keep an eye on me and watch my six. He was force to become the Winter Soldier and kill for HYDRA and when he finally manage to get free he got pulled into a war between his childhood best friend and his super friends because some guy had a grudge against said childhood best friend and super friends. Later when he was finally free and happy in a place where he was finally accepted he got pulled into an intergalactic war because his stupid childhood best friend brought the war there, to his new home. Sometimes, sometimes I think that knowing me has been the worst thing that has ever happened to him. He deserves to have a life, he deserves to make his own choices for once and I can't let him because I can't let go of my God damn past."

"I had been so blinded by my past that I forgot to see my future, I forgot to see the Avengers, I forgot to see you, I didn't realize everything that I had, until I lost it. The truth is, I didn't told you about your parents because I didn't want to hurt you and because I didn't want to lose you and I ended up doing both anyway. You and Bucky, you both deserved better. I mean what was I thinking? How could I do that to Bucky, he deserved to know who you were, he deserved to know that you knew the truth, he deserved a chance to talk to you, to apologize or whatever, to know that you didn't blame him. A chance to truly know you. You deserved to know the truth, even if it hurted you, even if I lost you, even if you hated me forever, even if you blamed Bucky forever, you deserved to know, it was the right thing to do. But I was selfish, I didn't want to lose you, I didn't want to lose Bucky, I want it all and I ended up losing both of you anyway."

"That day in Siberia, when I realize that you were there as a friend, that you were there to fight beside me and not against me, I was so happy. I hated fighting with you. I hated having to choose between you and Bucky. And then the two of you were there, ready to fight beside me and I was so happy and I blew it, I screw everything up. I couldn't stop, my only mission was to keep Bucky alive and you far away from him, no matter what, I didn't want you to kill Bucky, I didn't want Bucky to kill you, so I did the only thing I know how to do, I fought and punched my way out of the situation, I showed you my dark side. God, the look in your eyes that day, you really, you really thought I was going to kill you, I treated you as if you were the bully, the enemy and you defended yourself from me like you had been defending yourself from bad guys. Why? What did we become? Where did it all go wrong? What did we do?"

"I, I, I have, I, I have a, I have a confession to make..."

Steve stopped, he was trembling, he wiped his tears away again and took some deep breaths. He was about to say the most terrifying part of his confession.

_Here goes nothing._

"I, I have feelings for you, I'm in love with you. I know it's too little and too late for this, I know that you don't feel the same way about me but I have to tell you this, I have to. I don't know when it started, maybe the day we met, maybe even before that, I don't really know. I only noticed it after Ultron, after you retired. I started to miss your presence, your laughs, your jokes, even the way we used to argue. I missed the way how you always called me on my bullshit, the way you looked in the morning when you drank your coffee, how you looked when you were working in your workshop, how you always wanted to eat after a battle, how you always sang and played the piano when you couldn't sleep, you never realize I was there, you have a beautiful voice, you know."

"I realized that I was so mad about Ultron because, because you talked with Banner and Fury but not with me, you trusted them but not me. Why? Why them and not me? I realized that I was jealous of the relationship that you had with Bruce, with Nat, with Clint and Thor. How you had nicknames for them but not for me, how you touched them but always kept your distance with me. I was jealous of the way you hugged and kissed Rhodey, how you talked with him. How you were with him. And I was jealous of Pepper because she had all of you and I only got scraps. I kept remembering and dreaming about the night we shared a bed at Clint's house. How right it felt to sleep beside you, how good it felt to wake up and see you by my side. I think, I think that was the only night I didn't had a nightmare and I wanted that everyday, forever. But I couldn't because you had Pepper and you looked happy and I didn't want to hurt you. I didn't want to take that away from you or from Pepper, I couldn't."

"Then you told me that you and Pepper were on a break and a little spark of hope was born, maybe if I did things right you could give me a chance. Zemo was right, the Accords, that was nothing, we would have come back from that eventually. I mean we kind of did. But then I screw up, I hurted you, I lost you and I left you. I sent you a shitty letter and a stupid flip phone and everyday without you was hell. I woke up crying and screaming your name, I wanted Nat or Sam to call me on my bullshit and tell me that I was being stupid, just like you used to do, but no, they just followed me without questions even when I know that I don't always make the right choices sometimes and that there are other ways. I wanted to look at my side and see you smiling at me, or rolling your eyes at me. I wanted to argue with you about stupid things, I wanted to tell you about new things I learned about this century or to ask you stupid questions that I knew will only make you roll your eyes at me, I wanted to hear your voice, I wanted to see your eyes, to see your smile. I became a stalker, seeing you getting closer to Peter, getting even closer with Rhodey, getting engaged with Pepper and it hurted because I wanted to be there beside you, to be part of your life but I couldn't. I couldn't stop looking at my phone, waiting for you to call and when it finally rang it wasn't your voice on the other side."

"Two years, for two years, for two long years I waited and prayed and begged for that damn phone to ring, to hear your voice, to see you again. Hell, I would have been satisfied with an angry voicemail or drunk texting, because if you were angry at me at least that meant you still remembered me, that I still mattered in your life, that you still cared. But all I got was ignorance and silence."

"And now I'm here, hiding in a dark room from everyone and everything, talking to an empty shell because you're not here, because you're gone, because I don't know where you are, because, because _I don't even know if you're still alive or not_! I want to believe that you are, I want to, I really do but it's been ten days and there are absolutely no signs of you. I don't know if that alien killed you, I don't know if Thanos killed you, I don't know if you turned to dust, I don't even know if you're okay or are out there somewhere in space _fighting for your life_! I don't know if I'll ever see you again. If I'll ever see your eyes again, or your smile. If I'll ever hear your voice again, if I'll ever see you build something again. I don't know if the last thing I'll ever see of you is that scared and betrayed look in your eyes, the way you defended yourself from me because _you thought I was going to kill you!_ I don't know if the last thing I will ever hear you say is that I don't deserved Captain America's shield."

"I know, I know Captain America is your childhood hero, that you admired him, if there was one thing you believed in while growing up was in him, so to have you telling me that I didn't deserved to be him, that I wasn't him, that you were wrong about me, it hurted because I have always wanted to impressed you, I have always wanted you to look at me, to look at Steve Rogers and see that hero you used to love so much. I knew that by not telling you about Bucky and your parents, that you and I will probably never speak to each other again, or be partners again or  be friends ever again, that the Avengers will never be the same again, that every hope I had of being more with you will die the moment you found out the truth and I told myself that I was okay with it because I was saving Bucky's life, because I was saving your life and my life, because I was sparing the Avengers from something worse, I knew it wasn't the right thing to do, but it was the only way I could keep everyone alive."

"I knew that you'll hate me forever, that you'll never forgive me, that you'll never forget this but at least you'll be alive, everyone else will be alive, but now. Now I realized that I lost everything and that I might never get it back. Now I realized that all the terrible words, all the blood, all the disagreements, all the fighting and heartbreak, all the betrayals weren't even worth it. All of that was for nothing and the reason I fought so hard for has happened, the worst thing has happened, the one thing I can't live with... has happened and now all of this doesn't even matter because the one thing I should have said, the thing I can't tell anyone now, not the Avengers, or my friends, or co-workers, or that damn government or the whole world. The one thing, the one thing I should have told you, but didn't, the one thing I should have shouted for the whole world to hear but didn't."

" _The one thing!"_

Steve was full on sobbing now, he was trembling from the coldness of the room and his voice was shaking even more and more with every word, but he needed to say this, if he didn't say it now he'll never be able to.

"I love you."

Steve choked out in a sob.

"I'm sorry."

He didn't stop the tears from coming anymore, he let it all out.

Finally let it all out.

Everything, his frustration after the ice, his loneliness, his anger, his troubles, his feelings, the Civil War, his depression, Thanos, his grief, everything.

He got rid of all the chains that were holding him back.

Steve didn't know for how long he cried, he doesn't know how much time he has spend in this room.

He wiped his face with his shirt and got up from the floor.

He headed straight for Tony's armor, he needed to close the door before he left, the new designs really were beautiful, Steve couldn't help but touch the armor.

He put his right hand right on top of the Arc Reactor, feeling the hum of it through his fingers.

Every light in the armor started blinking red when he did that.

_Oh, God please tell me you're not going to attack me or explode right in front of my face._

"Um, F.R.I.D.A.Y, what's wrong?" Steve asked the A.I. Forgetting for a moment that he had turned the A.I. off in the room.

"Voice recognition: Captain Steven Grant Rogers. Code name: Captain America. Team designation: Co-leader." The same mechanical voice from before said and in front of Steve appeared a hologram with a numerical keypad asking for a ten digit code.

_Ten digits? That's a lot._

Tony always asked for a four or six digit password, why ten?

No one would be able to remember a ten digit code.

It wasn't just the fact that it was asking for a ten digit code that caught Steve's attention though, it was the way the code was asked.

First, three digits. Then, a space bar. Then, another three digits. Then, another space bar and then, the last four digits.

It was almost as if it was asking for a...

"Phone number." Realization hit Steve in a rush, he wondered which phone number it was asking for.

_Rhodey's?_

_Pepper's?_

_Peter's?_

_Tony's?_

Or was it.

_Steve's?_

The only phone number that Tony had of Steve was the flip phone and no one else had that number, Steve was sure of it.

Steve gave it a try, anyway.

678-136-7090

The armor flashed green and the keypad disappeared.

"Access: Granted. Playing message for Captain Steve Rogers from Mr. Tony Stark."

_What?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, that got long. And hey, cliffhanger. Don't hate me.
> 
> NOTES, NOTES, NOTES!!!!
> 
> DAY EIGHT NOTES: Sorry you didn't see much of Carol in this chapter, you'll see more of her in coming chapters.
> 
> The Stevetony lovechild is a joke guys, I'm not hating on the movie or the character or the actress. I know Carol Fans are very protective of her but it's a joke I kind of see MCU Carol as a Stevetony lovechild, I don't know why. 
> 
> I took away Monica and Maria so Carol has more motivation than just Fury.
> 
> DAY TEN NOTES: So, if the Avengers knew what Clint was doing and if Nat didn't seem to have any trouble finding him, then why didn't they found him before and made him see sense? Weird, so weird.
> 
> When did Thor's people got to Earth? How did Thor get the land for New Asgard? How did they know where to find Thor? So many questions.
> 
> Am I the only who suffers from anxiety attacks when things get too loud? Like I grew up alone so whenever people come to visit and start talking loud and the t.v or radio is on and the kids are playing or screaming/crying and the dogs or whatever are doing noises outside I just want to tell everyone to shut up. It might be weird, but well its what happens. I wanted Steve to react the same way to all of that, he was very sick growing up so who says he didn't had ear infections growing up and those hurt, they are so annoying.
> 
> I loved how much of Natasha's human side they showed us on Endgame, so my Natasha is going to be a lot like that, sad about what's going on and desperate to fix this.
> 
> I think that in the comics is mentioned that Tony Stark owns a private island, or maybe it was fanfiction. I don't really remember. I just went with it.
> 
> So, I just thought of random names and I thrown them in there, any relations with reality is a mere coincidence.
> 
> So, like I said before I'm not going to have Morgan and the Stark-Potts in this story but I wanted to keep the family theme Tony has going on in Endgame so I did it with the Iron Family, remember this story is about Irondad & Spiderson and Stony.
> 
> When that trailer came out with that picture many theories were formed about who was holding it. Some said it was Tony while visiting Aunt May or in his workshop, some said it was Peter at Tony's funeral, some even said it was Steve, that he found the picture in Tony's office/workshop when Tony was in Space or after Tony died he saw how much Tony loved Peter and decided to be his new mentor in honor of Tony. I went with one of those, because I thought it was cute and very Superfamily. Not like Endgame is not full of Stony and Superfamily.
> 
> If there is any @josephgrant45 on Instagram. I'm sorry if I stole your username, it was the first thing that came to my mind.
> 
> So I always felt that in MCU Civil War, Tony's and Steve's roles were reversed from 616 Civil War. So that's why the MCU Confession makes more sense from Steve's point of view than Tony's. If you don't know what The Confession is, is a Civil War Marvel comic special. It has Tony talking and confessing to Steve's corpse about his motives for the Civil War and well he kind of also confesses his love for Steve. What is it with these two and confessing their love for each other when the other one is dead/in a coma or one of them is evil. Can you just kiss and make up?
> 
> I know there's a lot of self-hate in this and I know I have been hard on Steve but this is the last of it I swear. I wanted him to have a breakdown, I wanted him to break the chains and let everything out so a new Steve could be born.
> 
> What do you think Tony's message would be?
> 
> Are you excited about it?
> 
> Tell me in the comments!
> 
> Write to you later, bye!


	6. A Goodbye and A Mission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony tells the truth. Steve gets a very important mission. Goodbyes and confessions are told.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Welcome back!
> 
> So sorry for the delay, I had a few problems with my eye this week. That's why this is so late.
> 
> I want to thank all the people who had left kudos and comments in here. To everyone who has bookmarked this story, thank you so much. Last chapter had a better respond than I thought it would have.
> 
> So here is Tony's message, I hope I did him justice.
> 
> You can ask me anything in the comments or at tumblr (@tonidanvers).
> 
> If you spot any mistakes feel free to tell me in the comments, remember English is not my first language.
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

 

 

 

> _We fight every night for something. When the sun sets we're both the same. Half in the shadows. Half burned in flames. We can't look back for nothin'. Take what you need say your goodbyes. I gave you everything. And it's a beautiful crime._
> 
> -  ** _[Beautiful Crime by Tamer](https://youtu.be/iMq3lQFFHFw)_**
> 
> * * *
> 
>  
> 
>  

 If someone asked Steve Rogers where their story started, he'll tell you that it started with two men.

One was life and one was death.

Two men that were so different but at the same time so alike, that you couldn't even tell them apart if you tried.

Their story started with a survivor and a fighter.

With a genius and a soldier.

With peace and war.

With lost and betrayal.

With lies and truth.

With black and white.

With blue and red.

With a curse and a blessing.

With a cure and a sickness.

With fire and ice.

With light and darkness.

With a man and a boy.

With the future and the past.

With a futurist and man out of time.

With a kid from Brooklyn and a man in a can.

With love and duty.

With right and wrong.

With heart and soul.

With brains and muscles.

With a legend and a legacy.

With everything and nothing.

With freedom and justice.

With home.

With two men that even after all of those differences, still fit together like puzzle pieces.

With two men that weren't oil and water.

But oil and fire.

Two warriors fighting for one goal.

Freedom and a better world.

* * *

 

"Playing message for Captain Steve Rogers from Mr. Tony Stark."

_What?_

_What?!_

Steve could see how rays of blue light came out of the eyes of Iron Man's faceplate. Like neon lights at a party, iluminating the dark room in a soft blue light that warmed Steve's heart.

"Hey, Cap."

_Oh, God._

_Oh, God._

Steve turned around slowly, body following the sound of that voice almost automatically. The urge to close his eyes was overwhelming but he couldn't do it, he needed to see everything. His eyes needed to drink everything in, like a thirsty man drinking water in a desert.

There he was, wearing that outfit that Steve had already memorized thanks to how many times he has watched the footage of the attack in New York. He was standing just a few steps away from him, smiling softly but the look on his eyes was guarded.

Steve realized that this was the first time he has seen Tony so close to him in two years. He has seen him in pictures and videos but never in person, never this close.

Not since... not since...

 _Siberia_.

Big brown eyes full of hurt and anger.

Full of betrayal and hatred.

Full of digust and disappointment.

Full of heartbreak.

Full of fear.

Olive skin bruised and bloodied.

Hands up to protect. Not to defend or attack.

Sound of metal against metal. And the shattering of a heart.

_I know that road._

_What is this?!_

_Did you know?_

_Yes._

_He killed my mom._

_He's my friend._

_So was I._

_Stand down, final warning._

_I can do this all day._

_That shield doesn't belong to you._

_You don't deserved it._

_My father made that shield!_

Steve couldn't breathe, his hands started shaking, his vision blurred and a feeling of nausea overwhelmed him. Cold and hot chills started colliding all over his body, making him tremble even more and more every second.

He needed air, he needed air, he needed to get out of here and find some air.

He needed...

 _No_ , Steve screamed frantically in his head.  _You can't leave, not right now. Tony needs you._

Steve recognized that he was having a panic attack, but he couldn't lose it right now. Steve didn't know if this message was a one time thing or not. He didn't know if he could watch this again, he needed to get everything under control. This could be the last thing he ever saw of Tony.

_Come on, Rogers! Get it together!_

Steve took a deep breath and pinched his arm hard. Pain shot throughout his left arm, making his senses concentrate in there. Steve took a few more deep breaths and gave Tony his undivided attention.

"I don't know when you're going to find this recording or if you ever going to find it," Tony continue, completely unaware of the river of emotions that were running all over Steve's body and mind. "God, I hope you find it one day because if you don't, we're all screwed."

Tony started pacing back and forth in front of Steve. Hands and arms moving frantically. Steve followed him with his eyes, his hands twitched, Steve wanted to touch him but he knew he couldn't. This was just a hologram, not the real Tony. His hands will just go through him, like a ghost in a movie.

"I don't know what you know so I'm going to start at the beginning. This morning Bruce and a wizard named Doctor Strange came to find me and told me that Thanos is coming and that Thor is gone. According to Bruce, this Thanos guy send Loki back in 2012 to get the Tesseract because he wants to collect all the Infinity Stones. Bruce said that right now Thanos already has the Power Stone and the Space Stone in his hands and is probably heading for the Reality Stone while his... his...  _people_  try to find the Mind Stone and Time Stone on Earth."

Tony stopped pacing, the fingers of his left hand started drumming against the Arc Reactor. Steve stared at it, he still didn't know if he had it for his new design or because his heart needed it again. Steve swallowed hard, remembering all of those videos where Tony's left hand couldn't stop shaking. 

"Doctor Strange has the Time Stone around his neck, so Bruce, the Doc, his friend and myself got attacked, Spidey joined the fight a few minutes later. The alien got the upper hand on Strange and took him to his ship, so I followed him."

Yeah, Steve already knew that, he had that moment burned into his mind. Seeing Tony go after that ship and never coming back was one of Steve's new nightmares.

"Spidey and I manage to free Strange from this alien dude, he's floating around in space right now, frozen to death thanks to Spidey's pop culture references." Tony laughed softly, his laugh warmed Steve's heart. Tony sounded so proud of that.

Steve didn't understood much of what Tony just said but he was glad to hear that they managed to get rid of that  _thing_. He seemed to be the most dangerous of them, what with those powers of his, he also seemed to be the leader of the group. And probably the most loyal to Thanos.

"The ship seems to be on autopilot, it's taking us to a planet named Titan, I'm guessing that's Thanos home or well what was his home before he went, you know, crazy."

Both Thor and Rocket had mentioned that planet before. They said it was a dead planet, that it had become a wasteland a long, long time ago.

Steve made a mental note to ask Ms. Danvers to go take a look at Titan. Maybe Tony was still there, or hell, maybe even Thanos was there, trying to fix with the stones the place he once called home.

"Cap, this, this... this is a one way ticket, Cap. I don't think I'm coming back, not this time." 

 _No, don't say that_. Steve thought.  _Don't say that. You have to, you have to come back. You have to. I need you here. I need you with me._

Tony was quiet for so long that for a moment Steve thought that the message would end soon. But then Tony let out a bitter chuckle and said in a quiet voice.

"There was an idea to bring together a group of remarkable people. To see if we could become something more, so when they needed us, we could fight the battles that they never could." Tony quoted the words that were said to the both of them six years ago. The words that started it all. The words that started the Avengers, their family.

"What happened to us, Cap?" Tony asked quietly. "Where did we go wrong?"

Steve was wondering the same thing. He was sure the other members of the Avengers were asking themselves the same thing. Steve had an idea of where they had gone wrong but he didn't want to admit it, he was afraid.

 _Coward._ A voice said in his mind, a voice that sounded so much like Tony's that for a moment Steve thought that Tony had said that. But the hologram version of Tony was quiet, he was staring into the distance with a faraway look in his eyes, he shook his head and sighed.

"A few minutes ago I told Doctor Strange that Thanos has been in my head for the past six years and that I didn't know what to do. And it's true, I'm heading to war with no plan, with no back up, with no weapons, no strategy. I'm going in blind and short handed. With none of my usual partners." Steve flinched at that.

_If you need us. If you need me. I'll be there._

_The Avengers are yours._

_How are you guys planning on beating that?_

_Together._

_You promised him you'll be there for him and where are you now, Rogers? You're home and safe. And where is Tony now, huh? He's probably dead and it's all your fault._ A cruel voice said inside his head. Steve wanted to ignore it but you can't ignore the truth.

"Don't get me wrong. I trust Spidey with my life, I know he has my back and that he's incredible and his powers are amazing and useful in a fight but, but he's just a kid. A kid that I have to protect. A kid that has his whole life in front of him. I don't know what I'll do if something happens to him, if I lose him."

Steve didn't know how old Spider-Man was, he knew the kid was young, had heard it and saw it back in Germany. But he knew that Spider-Man and Tony were close, closer than Tony had ever been with any other Avenger. The only exception being Rhodey.

"And the arrogant magician over there doesn't seem so bad after the first impression. Or maybe he just stops being grumpy once you give him a bag of blueberries."

_Blueberry?_

"But he's powerful too, he has this great magical powers that seem to be very useful in a fight and not just to make balloon animals. But still, it's still going to be three of us against I don't know how many of them. I'm just a man in a can and _I don't know what to do_."

_Big man in a suit of armor. Take that off, what are you?_

_No, you're more than that. You are more than that, Tony._

_I'm sorry, Tony._

"I'm scared, Cap. I don't want to die." Tony said in a small voice.

Steve closed his eyes tightly. It was hard to hear Tony admit that. Tony, who wore so many masks to the point you couldn't figure out what was the real one and which one was the fake one. Tony, who never admitted any weaknesses and the ones that he couldn't hide, he wore them proudly for all the world to see. Tony who was a man made of iron but human nonetheless.

Tony sounded so scared, so vulnerable, like a kid alone in the dark searching for his parents.

"I don't wanna leave Pepper alone," Tony continue in a quiet voice. "I don't want to leave Peter alone or Rhodey or Happy. I just want more time with them."

_We just wanted time._

"But time, time has always been our greatest enemy. Especially yours. How ironic it is that it's time the thing that I'm trying protect right now."

Tony moved a little bit backwards and a hologram of a table appeared in the room. Tony sat down in it, he crossed his ankles and clasped his hands together and turned to look directly at Steve.

"You know, in a few months I'm going to marry Pepper, just this morning I was telling her about this dream I had last night." Tony said with a small smile, so full of happiness and nostalgia at the same time.

"In the dream, Pepper and I had a kid. A beautiful girl, with brown eyes and brown hair. With eyes so sharp and full of intelligence and a heart of gold. Her name was Morgan and she was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen." Tony said with a bright smile and a sparkle in his eyes. Steve had never seen him like that. He looked so happy.

Steve could imagine her. A girl with Tony's Italian looks and Pepper's attitude. Holding her head high like her mother but as curious as her father. Tony was right, she really was beautiful.

"I dreamt about a cabin in the woods, besides a beautiful lake. Peter and Morgan playing with Sirius in the grass and Peter's friends playing pranks on Happy while Pepper and May asked them to behave and me and Rhodey made cheeseburgers on the grill for everyone." Tony smiled and looked away. He was probably remembering his happy dream.

Steve could imagine that too. Rhodey and Tony wearing ridiculous aprons and making delicious cheeseburgers on a grill that Tony made. He could picture Peter teaching Morgan how to swim in that lake while Michelle, Ned and Harley tried to splash one another with water. He could picture Happy scolding Sirius but giving him food anyway, while Pepper and that brown-eyed, brown-haired woman Steve had seen on the pictures in Tony's desk, laughed and talked about women's things.

Steve's heart hurt just to think about that. Because in none of those dreams and fantasies were the Avengers or Steve. And Steve wanted to be part of that, he wanted to be part of Tony's life, he wanted to be a part of Tony's family. But he couldn't, not anymore.

"When I was kidnapped in Afghanistan, there was a man there who helped me in many ways. He saved my life and helped me create the first Iron Man. One day I asked him if he had a family and he said that he did and that he would see them again when he got out of there. He asked me the same thing and I told him no. He said that I was a man who had everyhing and nothing."

_Oh, Tony._

"He sacrificed his life for mine. Turns out, his family was dead, the next time he was going to see them was in heaven. He sacrificed his life for the man that created the weapons that killed his family. He only asked me for one thing and one thing only. He asked me not to waste my life."

_Oh, God._

_Oh, Tony._

"So, that's how Iron Man was born. Sometimes, when I see that ring in Pepper's finger, or hear Peter laughing and playing with that dog he loves so much. When I see Rhodey and Happy bickering back and forth about who is Peter's favorite uncle. Or see May and Vision being disasters in the kitchen or when I see Ned, MJ and Harley playing those games that I don't understand. When I see the Compound alive with laughter and so full of love and life. I wish he was still alive, so I can tell him that I have a family. That, that it took time but I finally have everything in every sense of the word. But I know he knows, somehow he knows. I know he knows that I finally have a family and that the armor he helped me create so many years ago has saved so many lives. I don't believe in Gods or anything like that but I know that if there is a heaven up there, he's with his kids and his wife, looking down at me and seeing that I'm not wasting my life. That I'm doing what I promised."

Steve had never heard anything like this. Tony never talked about his time in that cave. And Steve was eating every word like a hungry man.

"When Nick Fury told me about the Avengers Initiative, I told him no. You see, Iron Man was never meant to be a hero, he was never meant to be a superhero or a symbol or anything like that. I'm not the hero type and I knew that. Iron Man was born to clean up my messes, to protect the people that I put in harm's way. When I put on that armor, I didn't do it so the people could see me as a hero. I did it to clean my name, my father's name, and to stop those people who were terrorising the whole world with my weapons. I saw young man getting killed by the very weapons I designed to protect them and defend them and after that I just wanted peace, not for me, but for the world. I didn't want a body count to be my only legacy so I made a better one. I didn't put on that armor for the fame or the glory, I didn't care about any of that, for me there was only the next mission and nothing else."

_I know man with none of that worth ten of you._

_The only thing you fight for is yourself._

"But you know what was the real reason why I said no back then? I think you know, I think you had always know. Vision was right. Our own strength invites challenges. Our own power creates chaos. When I put on that armor, when you put that star in your chest. We became gods, we became kings. And the people? They wanted to dethrone us, they wanted our strength and power, our fame. Because if you can make a god bleed, people would stop to believe in him."

"Putting together a group of superheroes, a group of extraordinary beings with extraordinary powers. A group of kings and queens. Of gods and goddesses. It would only invite chaos, challenges, unnecessary wars."

"The truth is, Rogers. Everybody wants to rule the world. Everybody wants to be a god, to be a king. Everybody wants power. Everybody wants to make the world in their image. But not a lot of people dare to do it, at least not until they get shown that people can do it and they get jealous. All of those villains, all of those monsters and bad guys. HYDRA, Iron Monger, Whiplash, the Red Skull, the Mandarin, Zemo Loki, Ultron, even Thanos. They all stepped up because _we_ did. When you put together an army, you're telling the whole world that you're ready for war. So they bring it to you."

"That day in the Helicarrier, that's when I saw it. That's when I knew we were going to war. And I don't mean Loki or any other villain, I mean us. That's when I saw that we were going to fight each other. Bruce saw it too."

_What are we? A team? No, no. We're a chemical mixture that makes chaos. We're a time bomb._

"Too many different personalities, too many different ideas and goals, too many secrets, too many problems and too little trust. That's how you start a war. That's just how things are, it's in our history and in our blood. You and I, we have a lot of apologies to make and not a lot of time. We need to apologize to each other, to our friends, to our family, to the whole fucking world. I wish we could do this in person but maybe that's just not how things are supposed to be."

"I don't know what will happen in a few hours. I don't know if tomorrow I'm still going to be alive or not. If I have to go, then I don't want to go with regrets and unfinished businesses. So here goes nothing. The first thing that I want to tell you is, you should have trusted me. With the truth, with the whole truth, with your goals and ideas, with the team. With my goals and ideas. With the things that I told you. You should have trusted me and believed in me, you should have listened to me. Maybe if you had trusted me, we would have laughed in Zemo's face and came back home to our family, instead of hurting each other and breaking our family apart."

"The second thing is, I know freedom is something sacred to you, I know that, but I wasn't asking you to give it up, I was asking you to compromise it for a while. And I wasn't asking for me or for the government or for the U.N. No, I was asking for the people, for the little guy out there that we swore to protect. I was asking you because the people were afraid. They were afraid of us. The people who once saw us as heroes, as their hope now were seeing us as dangerous. As threats. They were right, but you didn't listen. We swore to protect them from the villains but who was going to protect them from us? If we are the strongest, the mightiest then who's going to put us in check when we start going rogue? For them the answer was no one. They couldn't find someone so they became afraid. Have you ever been afraid? It's such a horrible feeling. Fear is good in a way, because it makes us do so many desperate things and our survival instincts kick in. Fear keeps us alive. But you didn't saw to it that way, you forgot how it feels to be the little guy. You didn't saw their fear, you saw a cage."

_Did you really forgot how it feels to be the little guy, Rogers? Who's the big bully now?_

"I know part of that fear was my fault, with Ultron and everything that happened. It was my fault, I messed up. And that's the third thing I wanna tell you. Let me tell you how Ultron was born. Back in 2012, Loki tried to use the Specter on me, nothing happened. It didn't work, don't ask me why because I don't know. Then I took a nuke into space and saw... God, you have no idea what I saw there. I have seen wars, I have seen weapons that can destroy entire cities, but what I saw up there, that was more than an army or a weapon. That wasn't just war, it was destruction. Extinction. And it scared me to no end. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't eat, I couldn't even concentrate. I had nightmares, I had panic attacks. For a time I didn't even know what was happening to me, until J.A.R.V.I.S told me. It got so bad that I almost hurt Pepper in my sleep, I tried to explain, to apologize, but she left."

"I started to build suit after suit, the next one better than the last, I started to build the Iron Legion. But then Happy got hurt and I almost lost him, Rhodey too. I lost my home and I almost lost my family too. Pepper got kidnapped and hurt because of me, she almost died because of me, because of Iron Man, so I quit. I tried to forget what I saw, I tried to push down my fear. It worked for a while, it wasn't perfect, but it was that or nothing."

"But then you came and told us about HYDRA and the Specter and I got pulled back into the game. When I found the Specter, I had a vision. We were in another planet, fighting the Chitauri, and you were all dead. Bruce, Nat, Clint, Thor and you. I could see your injures, your blood, your lifeless eyes, your last breaths, your last moments. Your shield was broken, you know. I tried to check your pulse, to see if you were still alive, you woke up, you gripped my hand in yours, looked me in the eyes and told me that I could have saved you all, you asked me why I didn't do more and then you died. I saw you take your last breath, I saw the life go out of your eyes, I felt your pulse stop. Your last heartbeats were imprinted on my fingers. Then I saw a portal open and millions of Chitauri coming to Earth. I felt the whole world end."

Steve closed his eyes and felt tears fall, he started digging his nails into his palms to keep his emotions in check. Steve didn't know about that. But he could imagine that vision. How it must have felt for Tony in that moment. Seeing his friends and family die. Seeing the people he loves take their last breath.

He could imagine how it must have been for Tony, so alone and afraid. It must have been a nightmare and none of them saw it. They had been so hard on him back then. 

Steve knows what kind of things dreams like that can do to people because Steve remembers how Tony's cold skin had felt under his fingers, how Tony's lifeless eyes looked in his dreams. Steve shivered.

"I never told you about this, I never told anyone. I told Fury about it, he thought it was a mind trick from Wanda, maybe it was, maybe it wasn't. I don't know, she never said anything and I never asked. I told Fury that I wasn't tricked, that I was shown, that what I saw wasn't a nightmare, that it was my legacy. The end of the path I started us on. That seeing and feeling my friends and the whole world die wasn't the worst part, he said that the worst part was that you all died but that I didn't."

"When we came home, we found something in the Specter, something alive, something that could think.  It almost felt as if the Specter was speaking to me. So we took out Ultron, gave it a try. Ultron, he was just a fantasy, a dream, a dead program. You have seen my bots and my A.I.s, you have seen my suits. We couldn't make something like that, not with my tech. You know we couldn't. We tried to put Ultron and this being together and we failed. I left and next thing I knew was Ultron ruining our lives and causing destruction all around."

"I never wanted that. I wanted peace in our time, I wanted peace in our world, that's all I wanted. Just peace. No more monsters, no more aliens, no more gods, no more planets or other dimensions. Just us in our tiny little planet being humans, being free and unafraid. No more fears. No more coldness or darkness. But it didn't work out that way. Ultron was supposed to be salvation and it ended up being destruction. I failed."

Steve wished Tony was here, so he could tell him that Ultron was also influenced by Thanos. That he shouldn't blame himself so much. That he was just another tool in Thanos' game.

Tony was quiet for a minute. Looking and listening  into the distance with a frown. Steve couldn't hear anything more than Tony's quiet breaths, the soft humming of Iron Man and his own breathing. For a moment it was perfect, so peaceful, so quiet. Then Tony nodded and continue talking.

"Listen, I have to go soon, so I'm gonna be quick. I want to tell you that I get it, alright? And that I'm sorry. I get what it must have been for you to wake up in the future. If tomorrow I'll wake up in the future and discovered that Pepper married someone else and had kids with him or Rhodey was gone, or Happy couldn't remember me. Or if I woke up tomorrow and realize that I lost my chance to see Peter grow up into the great man I know he will become then I'll probably die. It would be very sad and hard, horrible even, but I'll try to move on for whoever is left. For Peter's kids or Rhodey's grandchildren. When my parents died, someone told me that you never get over the people you lose, you just learn to live without them. And it's true."

"I'll never forget Pepper, I'll never forget Rhodey. I'll never forget Peter. I'll never forget any of them. I'll learn to move on and live without them, for them. I'll make a new home, try to make new friends, maybe a family. I'll try to enjoy this second chance that I got, for them. Because I know that's what they would have wanted. I know it wouldn't be betrayal because they would have wanted that for me. That's what they will tell me to do, if they could. And it would be hard, so hard. But I'll try for them. I'll do all of that and more to honor their memory."

"My father, he spend so much time, money and resources looking for you. Fury, Carter and S.H.I.E.L.D too. They missed so much in their lives because they were looking for you. And when they finally found you, it was almost as if you weren't even grateful. It almost felt like you wanted to go back into the ice, like you were mad they found you. And I'm sorry that happened to you, I really am. But Steve, you gotta move on, buddy. I know that as soon as a time machine is put in front of you, that you'll go back, no hesitation, no questions asked. This place, this new world, me, Sam, the Avengers, we don't even matter to you do we? You don't care about us. Don't try to deny it because I already saw it once."

Steve knew that so far he couldn't prove to Tony that if a time machine was put in front of him, he'll try to find reasons to stay. And that Tony would be the first.

_I'll stay for you, Tony._

"Did it ever occur to you that maybe you're here for a reason? That you were found here and now for a reason? That it was fate, maybe? It's a cruel world, Rogers, but it's the only one we got. Everything happens for a reason. Some things just need to happen."

_Maybe not a reason. But a person._

"When I became Iron Man, Pepper told me that I was going to kill myself. I told her that I shouldn't be alive. Everything I have survived has been for a reason. And maybe this is it. If I die today or tomorrow, then don't feel bad about it. Part of the journey is the end. Maybe I was never meant to go home."

_Isn't that the mission? Isn't that the why we fight? So we can end the fight, so we get to go home?_

"I'm sorry for the way you ended up here. I'm sorry for everything you have been through. I'm sorry we couldn't be there for you, I'm sorry we couldn't be more. That we couldn't be who and what you needed and wanted. We tried our best, but maybe our best wasn't enough."

 _No_ , Steve thought.  _You all were enough, I just realized it too late. I'm sorry. You all matter to me, I love all of you._

"I get what you did for Barnes, I get it. I really do. Because I would have done the same thing for Rhodey or for Pepper. Or for Peter or Happy. Or for anyone that I care about. I'll move heaven, hell and earth for them. I'll try to find a way and if I don't find it, then I'll just make one. The only difference would be that I wouldn't have involved the team. You once asked me why I didn't asked you for help with the Mandarin. Because the Mandarin was my problem, my mess. Not yours. I created that demon, I'll had to be the one who dealed with it."

"I'm sorry for going all Inigo Montoya on Barnes. But you have to understand when my parents died I was very young, not ready to let go. No one ever is. No matter if you're five or fifty, you're never ready to lose your parents. I have to identify the bodies and arrange the funeral. Summer and Winter, that was the only time I could see them. I spend that Christmas alone, crying because I didn't even got to say goodbye."

God. Steve could see it now, a young Tony, so alone and vulnerable in a big, dark and cold mansion, probably staring at a Christmas tree, crying because his parents were gone and they were never coming back. 

"I bought the company that build that car, you know. So I could fix the problem that killed my parents. I didn't want more people to die because of it. I didn't want more kids to lose their parents like I did. I never found anything. I could never fix anything. Because there was nothing to fix."

God, Steve didn't know that. He could see it, Tony in his father's lab, trying to find the problem that killed his parents and finding nothing, because there was no problem to fix. He must have spend nights working on it, getting more and more frustrated after finding nothing.

"When I noticed that the car wasn't the problem, when I noticed that the road wasn't the problem. I started blaming my dad. Maybe it was his fault, maybe he had a little too much to drink and lost control. Maybe they were arguing and he forgot the wheel for a moment. For so many years I blamed my dad for my mother's death. I thought he killed her."

_**He** killed my mom. _

_Well, now that makes so much more sense. Doesn't it?_

_I'm sorry, Tony._

_I'm sorry, Howard._

"So when I found out the truth, my whole world was shaken. My whole life had been a lie. For years, for decades I hated myself for being so much like him. For still loving and admiring the man who killed my mom. Knowing the truth was painful but it was also very liberating. You should had told me sooner."

_Yeah, I should had. But I didn't know how much it was still killing you. I'm sorry._

"You can't judge me or blame me for the way I reacted. Especially because I know that if it had been Rhodey in that video, killing your mom, or Peggy Carter or your precious Bucky, you would have reacted the same way or maybe even worse. I have proof of that." Tony rubbed his Reactor. Steve flinched. He still remembers the sound of the reactor breaking under his shield. He never wants to hear that sound again. Never, never again.

"You can't tell me I'm wrong, because I saw your dark side and I know I'm not wrong."

_I don't trust a man who doesn't have a dark side, call me old fashioned._

_Well, let's just say. You just haven't seen it yet._

_But he knows it now and he's never going to trust you again._

"I will never forget what Barnes did. I'll never forget that video. I will always look at him and see the man who killed my parents. Just like Wanda sees me as the man who killed her parents. I will always look at his hands and see the blood of my parents in them. Just like Wanda sees the blood of her parents in mine. I can't never forget that, it has been burned into my brain like a brand. It took time, so much time but I don't blame Barnes. He was just a tool, he was just a weapon. He was the bullet, but HYDRA was the one who pulled the trigger. If a man is killed by a gun, you don't blame the gun or the bullet, or the man who build the gun, or the man that sold the gun. You blame the guy who pulled the trigger. That's the real killer."

"I will never forget, but I can forgive. I don't really know if I have anything to forgive him, he was just a victim, just like my parents, just like me. But if it makes him feel better then here it goes: James Barnes, I forgive you for the murder of my parents. I know you wouldn't have done it if you were in your right mind. Don't expect me to be your friend though, I'm not ready for that, but I can be civil."

Steve wished Bucky was here, so he could hear this, see this. Steve knew Tony would see it that way, that's just the way Tony is. Tony has a heart of gold.

Steve wished Tony and Bucky had gotten a chance at a friendship, he was sure that in different circumstances they would have become great friends. But that was all wishful thinking, now.

"Tell Sam Wilson that I don't blame him for what happened to Rhodey, accidents happen all the time, especially on this job, we both know the risks of wearing the suits. So if Rhodey doesn't blame him then neither should I."

"Steve, I gotta be honest with you. You are the hardest to forgive. I thought we were friends, now I know that we weren't. Or if we were it was one sided."

_Yes, we were._

_Yes we were, Tony._

_I'm sorry I couldn't show you how much I love you._

"I grew up hearing the stories of the great Captain America. I grew up hearing about the great man Steve Rogers was. Never meet your heroes, right? I know you're only human and that sometimes stories are just that, stories. But I expected better from you. Maybe not friendship, but at least a little bit of trust, a little bit of respect and loyalty. We were supposed to be partners, we were supposed to be teammates. What happened to no man left behind?"

_I was wrong about you, the whole world was wrong about you._

"I needed you to trust me, I needed you to be with me until the end of the line. I needed you to keep your promise and fight together, side by side, not against each other. I wasn't even asking for me, I was asking for the team, for the world and for the little guy."

_I'm with you until the end of the line._

_Maybe Bucky wasn't the only one who needed that, huh?_

" _Sometimes my teammates don't tell me things_."

Steve flinched. It's always hard when people puts you in your place using your own words. It only shows how much of hypocrite you are.

"Well, you're a fucking hypocrite, Rogers. That's what you are. But I might die today and I don't want to die a bitter man so, here it goes. I will never forget what you did, it's always going to be on the back of my mind. If I ever see you again, I might never be able to trust you a 100%, fool me once, that's on you. Fool me twice, that's on me."

"You gotta understand that I'm not mad, I'm just disappointed. I expected better from you, but well what is done is done. We can't change the past, we just gotta move on and make a better future. I can't blame you for what you did for Barnes, because I would have done the same for my loved ones. I can't blame you for trying to express your mind, even if you were a little bit over the top with it. I can't blame you for trying to stop me. But I can blame you for what you did to me. For not trusting me, for not telling me the truth. But like I said before I don't know what would happen today so, Steve Rogers, I forgive you."

Steve always thought that having Tony's forgiveness was going to heal the wound. He was so wrong. The wound didn't heal, it just started bleeding more.

"You said to call you when I needed you, I never needed you, but right now, right now it doesn't matter what I need or what you need. What matters is what _they_ need." Tony said pointing one finger in the direction of the door. He got up from the table, making the hologram disappear, he walked fowards and stopped right in front of Steve.

Steve's breath hitched, his hands started itching to touch Tony, but he knew he couldn't so he started digging his nails into his palms again.

"You and I both know that Thanos is going to win this and when he does, the people out there they're going to blame us, they might be right. They're going to ask us to avenge the ones that are gone, we need to do that. But we also need to remind them that we're not gods, we're just human and that we lost people too. The people out there, they need an Avenger. The Avengers need a leader, a Captain and that's you. The world needs Captain America, but most importantly, the world needs Steve Rogers." Tony put his palms together, it almost looked like if he was praying.

"Don't be the perfect little soldier Captain America is supposed to be, be the good man Steve Rogers is supposed to be. The people out there don't need the star, they need the heart. They need the soul, not the shield."

_Not a perfect soldier but a good man._

"This is our fight, Cap. This is what we were born for. This is the reason why I put on that armor, the reason why you picked up that shield. This is the reason why I survived that cave, the reason why you survived that ice. This is the reason why the Avengers were formed."

_That up there? That's the Endgame._

"If Thanos wants to bring hell to Earth, then we need to show him who the real devils are here. We need to show him that we can walk through the fire with a smile on our faces. We need to show him that we can dance with the demons. We need to show Thanos, that we're the Avengers and that we're not afraid of him."

_My name is Tony Stark and I'm not afraid of you._

"That he can't tame us, he can't scare us. That his chains and his cages, can't hold us back. That if he takes someone away from us, we take everything away from him, we need to make him remember us. We need to show the people out there that they're not alone and that we would do everything in our power to avenge the fallen. The Avengers need their Captain, the world needs a hero. Are you going to step up or not?" Tony asked looking straight into Steve's eyes. Like if he knew that Steve was right there.

"I will." Steve choked out. Tony smiled.

"Go get that son of a bitch, Steve. Show him what we're made of, show him who we are. Make him remember us and _avenge the fallen_. The Avengers are yours, Steve. Don't let me down. Make me proud. Good luck on your mission, Captain." Tony looked behind Steve. Steve followed his gaze and found himself looking at the door labeled 'Captain America'. Steve turned to look at Tony with a question in his eyes, even though he knew Tony wouldn't see him or answer him. Tony just winked and smiled at him.

"I recorded a message for the Avengers, too. Show it to them, you'll know the password. I know I'm leaving the world in good hands. Keep an eye on Peter for me, will you? He's going to need you, you'll understand when you meet him, well if he trust you with our little secret." Tony said with mischief in his eyes.

_What secret?_

"Tell Peter I love him, tell him I'm proud of him. He's gonna be great, Steve. He's the future." Tony said with a proud smile on his face. Steve swallowed, Peter was gone and Tony didn't know it. The only consolation that Steve has is that if Tony was taken in the Snap too, then he and Peter are together now.

"I wish we could have seen each other again, tell you this and more in person, maybe that's just not how things are meant to be. You're gonna miss me, I'm gonna miss you, there will be a lot of manful tears."

_I'm gonna miss him, though. And you're gonna miss me. There will be a lot of manful tears._

_I will miss you, Tony._

_Yeah? Well, it's time for me to tap out._

"After you kill Thanos, give youself a break. Try to move on, get a life. A family. You know, the simple life. You deserve it, you have done enough for this world." Tony said, for a moment it looked as if he wanted to say something else, something more. It looked like if he wanted to say a million things to Steve, but knew he couldn't. But he didn't say anything, he just sighed and smiled sadly at Steve.

"Goodbye, Steve." Tony said sadly and that, that sounded like a goodbye, forever.

_No, no, no._

For a moment, Steve forgot where he was. He shook his head and tried to hug Tony. To keep him where he was, to keep him here, with him, where he belongs.

" _Tony!_ " Steve tried to touch him but Tony disappeared from his fingers in a flash of blue light. Steve was alone in a cold and dark room.

Steve wanted Tony back, he wanted to hear his voice again, to see his eyes again, to hold him in his arms and never let him go. Steve wanted another chance, a chance to save Tony, a chance to protect Tony, to love Tony. To show Tony how much he cared for him. But it was too late. Steve was always too late. Once again Steve was out of time.

Steve lost Tony, forever.

Steve turned Iron Man off with tears in his eyes. Seeing the reactor go dark and knowing that it was probably forever. Steve closed the door labeled 'Iron Man' and stared at it. He sighed and looked to the side, eyes landing on the 'Captain America' door.

_I needed you to trust me._

_The Avengers need their Captain._

_The world needs Captain America._

_Good luck on your mission, Captain._

Tony had stared at that door. Steve swallowed and put a trembling hand to the screen. The door opened with a soft hiss.

"Welcome, Captain America." The same robotic voice from before said.

Steve found himself face to face with his stealth suit, the first suit Tony had ever made for him and if Steve was honest with himself, this suit was probably his favorite. There was a lot of new weapons and tech but there was no shield, just like Steve knew there wouldn't be.

_They need the soul, not the shield._

Steve was glad for that. Because he didn't think he was ready for that, not right now. Probably never.

Steve stared at his suit, Tony's words were running through his mind.

_Avenge the fallen._

"Hello, old friend," Steve said to his suit with a smile on his face and determination in his voice.

"We have work to do."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will have Tony's message for the Avengers.
> 
> So here is Tony's message for Steve, what did you think? Did you spot the parallels between Steve's confession and Tony's message?
> 
> I decided to make the messages pre-Titan so Steve and the Avengers can see how much Tony changed after Titan.
> 
> A few things: In the comics, Tony bought the company that build his parents car, so he could fix the problem.
> 
> Tony calls Peter 'Spidey' because he doesn't want to tell Steve, Peter's secret.
> 
> He tells Steve to keep an eye on Peter because of Spider-Man
> 
> I think that's pretty much it. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. By the way, in honor of chapter 5 I added song lyrics to chapters 1-4 and will continue to do that to the new chapters. Go check them out and tell me if you agree with my song choices and tell me if my story reminds you of any song in the comments.
> 
> See you soon, bye!


	7. Team Means Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heartfelt reunions, tearful goodbyes. Weird dreams. The Avengers and Steve have some emotional days ahead of them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Welcome back.
> 
> I'm so sorry about the delay, life and mind got a little complicated there for awhile but everything seems to be going fine now and I'm back.
> 
> I want to thank everyone who has left comments and kudos in this story, thank you for giving this story a chance and for not giving up on me during my hiatus.
> 
> Remember that English is not my first language so if you spot any mistakes, let me know in the comments. You can ask me anything in the comments or in tumblr (@tonidanvers).
> 
> We're still on day ten, guys!
> 
> Happy reading! Enjoy!

 

> _I ain’t made for a rivalry, I could never take the world alone. I know that in my weakness I am stronger but it’s your love that brings me home. Brother let me be your shelter. I’ll never leave you all alone. I can be the one you call when you’re low. Brother let me be your fortress. When the night winds are driving on. Be the one to light the way. Bring you home._
> 
>  -  ** _[Brother by NEEDTOBREATH ft. Gavin DeGraw](https://youtu.be/61Wm_qlVD4Q)_**

* * *

 

Team.

What is a team?

It's a group of people coming together to fight for a common goal.

It's sisterhood and brotherhood.

It's partnership, companionship and friendship.

A team has many names.

Friends.

Lovers.

Brothers.

Sisters.

Partners.

Marriage.

Siblings.

Cousins.

_Family_.

A team is blood, sweat and tears.

It's booming laughter, warm hugs and sweet smiles.

It's weakness and strength.

It's sadness and happiness.

It's darkness and lightness.

But never loneliness.

A team is a shelter.

A team is home.

It's fights and disagreements.

It's love and protection.

Team.

What is a team?

It's a chemical mixture that makes chaos.

Or a hot chocolate that warms your heart.

 

* * *

 

By the time Steve come out of the 'Superhero Closet' - as Wanda so jokingly used to called it - it was already late afternoon. The Avengers were on one of the common rooms, Steve stopped at the doorway looking at his team, Tony's words kept running through his mind.

_There was an idea, to bring together a group of remarkable people, to see if we could become something more. So when they needed us, we could fight the battles that they never could._

_What happened to us, Cap? Where did we go wrong?_

Nat and Bruce were sitting together on a couch, Nat had her legs on top of Bruce's, both of them tapping furiously at their tablets, a plate of sandwiches and some soda cans were on a table in front of them. Thor and Rocket were sprawled on the floor, Thor was eating a sandwich while Rocket played with the little device he made, he was probably still trying to contact his teammates in space. Rhodey was sitting in a table in front of the T.V, he was watching the news, fingers lazily drumming against a soda can.

Steve was sure of the picture they would make to an outsider. The Avengers, lazily sprawled all over the common room, playing with their electronical devices would look like modern teenagers. Not able to get away from their phones or tablets for even a minute. And Steve leaning in the doorway with his arms crossed and a frown on his face would look like the strict old-fashioned father about to tell his kids to go outside and take some fresh air.

Steve felt like saying that to his team just to mess with them.

_Where did we go wrong?_

Nat noticed him first, she was reaching for a soda when her eyes met his. "Steve, where have you been? We have been looking for you all day, F.R.I.D.A.Y said you were busy, you missed lunch, want a sandwich?" Nat said while picking a plate full of sandwiches and offering it to him.

Steve took a sandwich and thanked her. He didn't know how much time he had spend in that room talking and listening to Tony, or well, a hologram version of Tony. He only knew that he had gone to his office late morning, around eleven and now it was five in the afternoon.

Natasha was still looking at him, blue-green eyes searching his face for any clues of where he had been all day and what he had been doing. Steve was so thankful for the serum in moments like this, he didn't want to imagine how his face or eyes would look like to everyone else after the rollercoaster of emotions he had today. The simple memory of going to his office seemed so far away, so old right now. As if that had happened months ago instead of this morning.

"So, where have you been all day?" Natasha asked again, curiously looking at him, sharp blue-green eyes looking for any lies, for any clues. _Spy eyes_ , a voice whispered in his head. Steve noticed that while the other occupants of the room hadn't paused their activities at Nat's questions, their ears had perked up, clearly trying to listen to Steve's answer.

Steve wondered what F.R.I.D.A.Y had told them, how long had they been looking for him and where. "I went to my old office to look through the photos the people threw at us, after that I just needed a minute, you know. Sorry, I think I lost track of time, I told F.R.I.D.A.Y I didn't want to be disturbed." Steve answered after he finished his sandwich. It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the whole truth either.

Steve felt the mood in the room go down a little after his answer. He felt a little guilty for reminding them of those pictures. Steve suddenly remembered that he had given them small missions before disappearing, he picked another sandwich and asked for a report.

Rhodey and Thor had already organized things with F.R.I.D.A.Y for the Asgardians to stay at the Stark's private island, Thor was sure that his people would land here on Earth in two or three days. He seemed very excited about it. Steve smiled, glad to see a little bit of the old Thor between the cracks.

Bruce informed him that he had found more videos of Clint and what he suspected was Clint. Judging by the expressions on everyone else's faces, Steve was sure that they had already seen those videos. Steve sighed and told Bruce that he'll watch them later. Rhodey gave him the date and time of the upcoming video calls with the U.N and the new President. He also informed him that Ross had scheduled a meeting, Steve tried very hard not to groan or make a face at that. Going by the look Rhodey was giving him he wasn't sure he managed. Rocket said that he hadn't managed to contact his teammates in space yet, but that he had managed to fix some of their equipment with Rhodey's and Bruce's help.

Steve remembered what Tony had said about the planet Titan and told Rocket to send a message to Carol Danvers, telling her to go take a look around the planet. He received some odd looks for his request but he explained that the planet had been Thanos' home once and if the stories were true then maybe he'll like to fix his old home now that he has the powers of the Infinity Stones.

Thor nodded and said that it was worth a shot and that it makes sense for Thanos to go back to Titan and try to fix the dead planet with the Stones. Thor didn't said it but Steve was sure that if Thor ever got his hands in the Stones, that's what he'll do, try to fix his old home. After everyone agreed with Steve and Thor, Rocket left to go look for Ms. Danvers' Communicator and send her the message.

Finally Steve looked at Natasha, who had been quiet while the others delivered their news. Natasha was furiously biting at her bottom lip, she had a far away look in her eyes. Steve wanted to tell her to stop, he could already smell the blood, but Steve kept quiet, he understood how much Clint meant to her. How much the Bartons meant to her. So he kept quiet and only raised a questioning eyebrow at her.

"I think I found him," Nat said while Steve was finishing his fourth sandwich. "He seems to be heading for Tokyo, there are some cases in there that he might be interest in. S.H.I.E.L.D used to have a safe house there, it's probably still there, he might want to crash in there. It's worth a shot. We're leaving in the morning, if that's okay with you?" Nat told him and Steve was about to tell her that her plan was okay with him. The sooner they find Clint and bring him home the better, but then something that Natasha said caught his attention.

"Wait, we? Who's we?" Steve asked. True be told Steve thinks it's better if Natasha goes alone, they don't know what's going on in Clint's mind right now. Steve is sure that Clint would never hurt any of them, but he also knows that Clint would never hurt Natasha and that she has a better chance of talking with him if she's alone.

"We talked about it and we agreed that is better if I go with her, if that's okay with you, Cap. Of course." Rhodey was the one who answered him. "Look, Steve. We don't know what's going on in Clint's mind right now, we don't know how he's going to react when he see us, he might not hurt us or Natasha but we don't know about other people. Besides, Clint isn't the only thing out there we need to worry about. I know Nat can take care of herself but two has always been better than one. I'm pretty much just going as a pilot and in case things get heavy, I promise." Rhodey explained and okay, when he put it like that Steve understood where they where coming from.

Rhodey was also the better option for the job, Bruce couldn't turn into the Hulk and even if he could, he might not be the better option for this job. Rocket was still busy fixing their damaged equipment and Thor needed to be here to wait for his people. That only left Steve and Rhodey, but Steve had some meetings to attend. Steve gave his okay to Rhodey and Natasha and sighed. They really needed more hands.

Steve wondered if Okoye would like to join them and help them but then he remembered that she has her hands full with Wakanda and Steve couldn't do that to her, not after he brought the war to her home.

_Where did we go wrong?_

 

**_Day Eleven_ **

  

Rhodey and Natasha left after breakfast, Thor and Bruce helped them pack some food and other supplies they might need during their trip before they left.

Before they left Steve put Natasha aside and told her. "Bring him home, Nat. Bring him back to us, where he belongs." Natasha nodded at him. "Don't worry, Steve. I'm not coming back until I have him." She promised and said her goodbyes to the others. Steve and the others wished them good luck and waved as the Quinjet took off into the sky.

Steve hopes that the next time he sees that jet, he'll see his old friend coming out of it.

Thor left with Pepper's personal assistant a few minutes after Rhodey and Nat left. Today was the day he'll get a tour of the Island where the Asgardians are going to be staying in when they land on Earth. That only left Bruce, Rocket and Steve.

Rocket went to his workshop to continue his work on their equipment, Bruce also left for his lab. He was trying to find a solution for his Hulk problem. Steve sighed, guess he had to clean the kitchen alone.

When Steve finished washing the dishes he heard some noises behind him, Steve turned around, expecting to find Rocket or Bruce there but there was no one there, or at least he thought there was no one there until a small bark caught his attention. Steve found himself looking at Peter Parker's puppy.

The puppy barked again and pushed his little bowl towards him, clearly asking for breakfast. Steve guessed that in his hurry, Rhodey forgot to feed the small dog. "Hey, buddy. You hungry?" The dog barked again, this time louder. "Alright, alright. I'm going, be a little patient, bud." Steve gave the dog some milk and some leftovers from breakfast.

When he finished eating, the puppy barked again, he licked Steve's hand while moving his little tail from one side to the other, that must be the puppy's way of saying thank you, Steve smiled. "You're welcome, bud." Steve said and rubbed the puppy's belly. Steve had always liked animals but he had never been able to have one. At first, he had been allergic and too sick to have one, then once he was healthy he had been fighting a war so far away from home. And now he was too busy being an Avenger to take care of a dog or a cat.

"Come on, buddy. Let's go for a walk, I'm guessing Rhodey also forgot to do that, and I don't want any accidents around here." Steve said and the puppy growled at him, clearly offended at Steve's words but the puppy followed Steve anyway. Steve chuckled at the puppy's antics and he laughed when he realized the puppy's collar and leash were Spider-Man themed.

Once he and Sirius came back from their walk, the puppy started barking excitedly and moving his tail back and forth when he recognized the hall they were walking by, the puppy turned to look at him and moved his little head in a way that clearly said 'Follow me' the puppy barked again and took off running.

Steve cursed under his breath, regretting for a moment letting go of the puppy's leash as soon as they were inside. Steve took off running after the puppy. If someone ever asks, Steve would tell them that yes, Captain America can keep up with an excited little puppy, thank you very much.

When Steve caught up with the puppy, the dog was barking excitedly at a door, little paws scratching the glass. Steve swallowed hard when he recognized the door. Sirius took him to Tony's workshop.

Steve took the excited ball of fur in his arms and rubbed the puppy's little head. "Hey, buddy. You miss him, huh? Yeah, I miss him too but he's not here. See? It's all dark inside." Steve told the puppy and the dog whined and buried his little head in Steve's arms.

"Steve? What are you..." Bruce started to ask but stopped when he noticed Steve's little companion. Bruce closed the door to his lab and started walking towards them. The noises he and Sirius were making probably disturbed him from his work, Steve felt a little guilty about it, he knew how important solving his problem was to Bruce.

Bruce's eyes softened when he looked at Sirius. "Oh I see." He said in a small voice. "He keeps doing that, you know?" Bruce pointed from Sirius to Tony's door. "Doing what?" Steve asked, Bruce sighed and took Sirius from his arms, the puppy went willingly, clearly he and Bruce already met.

"He keeps bringing people to Tony's lab, he does it to Rhodey all the time, he has done it to Thor a couple of times. He even managed to do it to Nat once. I think the only one he hasn't done it to is Rocket, but I think he's afraid of him. He also likes to camp beside the front door around 3 o'clock, Rhodey said that, that is the time Peter usually comes to visit. Rhodey thinks he probably left a toy in there somewhere and that's why he's trying to get in. I think he misses them and hopes to one day see Tony in his lab or Peter coming home from school, like before." Bruce said, hand caressing the puppy's dark fur.

Steve looked at the door again, he had been avoiding the labs since he got here. The memory of Tony working in his workshop was still fresh in his mind, even after two years. Steve could see where Sirius was coming from, even though the room was dark inside, Steve could see the soft blue light of Tony's holograms, DUM-E preparing some smoothies while U and Butterfingers cleaned the mess he made, he could also see Tony, wearing some old jeans and a t-shirt with the name of some old rock band, working in one of his suits, he could even hear Tony's voice, talking to his bots and telling them that they were a disaster and that he'll donate them to a city college.

Steve swallowed and shook his head, the memory disappeared in seconds, the lab became just a dark room and a locked door once again. Steve looked at the puppy again, he was whining and hiding his little head in Bruce's arms, Bruce shushed him and caressed his fur. The puppy misses Tony and Peter, the poor thing probably didn't know or understand why his owners didn't come home anymore, why Peter didn't come home to play with him or why Tony didn't feed him anymore.

Steve suddenly remembered all the dogs, cats, birds and other pets he and the other Avengers had rescued from appartments all around New York. Many pets had disappeared but in some homes the owner had disappeared leaving their pet behind, they were hungry and confused. How many pets were still out there, waiting for their owners to come home? How many had already died of hunger? How many had the shelter managed to rescue in time?

Steve swallowed again, this mess hadn't just affected humans, it had also affected animals and plants. _Extinction_ , Tony had said in his message, he didn't know how right he was, he probably never will.

"I also think he misses them, he probably doesn't understand why they're not here anymore." Steve said.

"Maybe he does, maybe he just has hope." Bruce said. "Don't you have a meeting with the President in about two hours?" Bruce asked, eyeing Steve's sweatpants, his T-shirt and messy hair.

"Yeah, I should really be getting ready for that, you dont mind..." Steve trailed off, signalling at the puppy in Bruce's arms.

Bruce smiled at the puppy. "Of course not, he's a great help around the lab."

"Really?"

"Yes, someone clearly trained him." Steve wondered who that someone was, Tony or Peter? Steve said goodbye to Bruce and Sirius and headed straight for his room, he needed to get ready and fast, he had a meeting to attend.

 

_**Day Twelve** _

 

Clint came home with his hands and feet tied up, he had a gag around his mouth and was glaring daggers at everyone. Nat came back with a bruise in her left cheek and Rhodey had a black eye. Steve sighed, he knew this was going to be complicated, he just didn't know how much.

Natasha said that she had to sedate Clint and tie him up because he was trashing the Quinjet and trying to escape. "If I take that off, will you behave?" Natasha asked, pointing at Clint's hands and feet. Clint just glared at her. Natasha sighed and started to untie him.

Everyone tensed and held their breath once Natasha finished untying Clint, but Clint just stood there, crossed his arms and glared hatefully at everyone. "Well, looks like he's going to behave after all." Rhodey said and everyone relaxed.

"How was your meeting with the President, Cap?" Rhodey asked. Everyone turned to look at him, even Clint.

_Exhausting_ , Steve wanted to say. His meeting with the new President had been exhausting. He had to explain once again everything they knew about Thanos and the Infinity Stones, he also had to answer question after question for hours. Thankfully the new President had been more preoccupied with the fact that half of his country disappeared into thin air out of nowhere and the problems that, that caused than the fact that he was talking with _Captain America, the Rogue Avenger._

"It went fine." Steve replied and tried to smile reassuringly at his team, he was sure it came out as a grimace, the new President really was something.

Steve saw it coming, he really saw it coming. As soon as everyone settle down in the common room and started talking among themselves, Clint made a run for it. Steve cursed under his breath and took off running after him.

Steve caught up with Clint a few steps away from the front door, Steve tackled Clint to the ground. Clint started trashing under him, kicking and punching Steve, he even tried to bite him once. He was only hurting himself because his efforts did nothing to Steve.

A few moments later Steve was joined by Thor and Natasha, Thor helped him with Clint and Steve noticed that Natasha had her Widow Bites ready. Rocket came a few seconds later, gun at the ready, where he got it from? Steve had no idea.

Bruce and Rhodey came next, thankfully they didn't had any weapons with them, Steve didn't want to know how Clint would react to so many weapons, or what he'll do with them if he manages to get his hands on one. Rhodey had some cuffs, though.

Clint continue to trash in Thor's arms, but just like with Steve, his efforts did nothing to the god.

"Let me go! Let me go! Let me go!" Clint screamed and kicked Thor, Steve was sure that if Clint keeps doing that, he'll break an ankle.

"No! Settle down and be quiet." Thor said and held Clint even tighter, Steve was sure that tomorrow Clint would find some big bruises in his arms.

"Let me go! You don't understand! I lost them, they're all gone! They're all gone! I lost them!" Clint screamed in anger, big fat tears running down his cheeks. Natasha turned around, furiously wiping at her eyes, Bruce hugged her.

"Clint, man. Calm down, alright? We do understand, we all lost someone too." Rhodey said, trying to calm Clint down. Clint stopped trashing in Thor's arms and turned to look at Rhodey in disbelief. He started laughing bitterly.

"You don't get do you?! None of you do, none of you understand. Yes, _yes_ everyone lost someone, but I, _I lost everything_ , I lost everyone. I lost my whole family. My beautiful wife, my little girl, my two boys. _My_ _baby_ , I lost my baby. He's gone and he was only three years old, _three_! Don't you get it?! I lost everyone, I'm all alone! What's the point anymore, huh? _What's_ _the_ _point_?! I'm all alone, anyway." Clint screamed hysterically in front of Rhodey's face.

"Clint, calm down, please." Steve said, it was a huge mistake because then Clint rounded on him.

"You, _you_. Shut up! This is all your fault, yours and Stark's! If the two of you hadn't had so many stupid fights then none of this would have happened! Maybe my family would still be alive if the two of you had just listened! Look around you, Rogers. _Look around_ _you_! This, _this_ is what Stark was warning you about but you didn't listen, you didn't believe him, you thought he was crazy!"

"You didn't believe him either." Steve said and he wanted to bite his toungue immediately after he said it, he knew he was falling into Clint's trap but he couldn't help it. Clint was blaming Tony when Tony was the only one who saw this coming. It was them who didn't believe him.

"No, I didn't but at least I kept my mouth shut but you, _you_ had the nerve to promise him, promise _us_ that we'll fight this together, that we'll lose or win this together! And where were you, huh? Where was Stark? _Where_?!" Somehow Clint was able to free himself from Thor, the whole room was quiet, the Avengers were looking at Clint with wide eyes, clearly shocked at Clint's reaction.

"The poor guy was losing it, he needed you to be there and you said that you would be there for him and then you left and everyone followed you. How many lives do you have to ruin so you can get your happy ending?!"

"Was it even worth it? Tell me, was it worth it?! Where is the friend you fought so much for, huh?! That's right, you lost him! Don't you see that you always lose him? Can't you take a fucking hint?! Maybe the two of you are just not meant to be together! To be honest a part of me is glad you lost him, because at least now I know you'll do something to fix this! You dare tell Stark that he only fights for himself when the only thing _you_ fight for is Bucky!" Clint screamed in Steve's face, face red with anger and full of tears.

"Clint, it was Thanos..." Steve tried to said but was interrupted by Clint.

"I know that! _I_ _fucking know that_! Don't you think I know that?! But don't you see, Rogers? Don't you get it?! My family is gone! My kids are gone and a part of me can't help but blame you and Stark for it. I'm all alone because of you!" Clint shouted, his finger was frantically stabbing Steve's chest, in the same spot that Dr. Erskine touched before he passed away.

_Not a perfect soldier but a good man._

"Clint, you're not alone." Natasha said and hugged Clint. Steve stepped out of her way, still shocked at Clint's reaction. Clint fell into Natasha's arms, like a puppet whose strings had just been cut. He started sobbing in her arms, Nat shushed him and rubbed Clint's back with her hands.

"They're gone, Tasha. They're all gone. My Laura, my little princess and my boys. My baby, Tasha. My baby is dead. I'm all alone." Clint said into Natasha's neck, voice rough and small, he sounded like a heartbroken little kid, all scared and alone.

Natasha put her forehead and Clint's together, she wiped Clint's tears away with her hands. "You're not alone, Clint. You still have me, you still have _us_ and we'll bring them back, Clint. We'll bring everyone back, I promise."

"Don't, don't give me hope." Clint said with tears in his eyes, Natasha hugged him. "I'm sorry I couldn't give it to you sooner." Natasha said and kissed Clint's forehead, like a mother comforting her child.

"Natasha is right, Clint. You're not alone, you still have us and we'll bring everyone back." Steve expected those words to come from his mouth or from Bruce or Thor. But those words didn't come from any member of the Avengers team. Those words came from Agent Phil Coulson, who was leaning in the doorway. The Avengers jumped at the sound of the Agent's voice. The only one who didn't look surprised was Natasha.

Clint froze at the sound of Coulson's voice. Natasha patted his back and told him that it was okay. Clint looked at Coulson with wide eyes, he let at a sob. "Phil? What..." Clint tried to say but words seemed to fail him.

"Natasha called me, she said my help might be needed." Coulson said, Clint just stared at him until Natasha pinched his arm and gave him a reassuring smile.

"Is that really you, old friend?" Clint asked, voice rough. Phil nodded and Clint went up and hugged him tightly. "Please, please tell me this is real."

"It is, it is. It's real, Clint. _I'm_ real." Coulson said, hands rubbing Clint's back, Clint just sobbed and hugged the Agent, Natasha joined the hug a few moments later and just like that the three old friends were finally reunited. They were only missing Maria Hill and Nick Fury.

_Soon_ , Steve promised in his mind. _Soon everyone will be back._

Steve looked at his team. Rocket had tears in his eyes, probably remembering his team. Thor had a sad little smile on his face. He had one arm around Bruce and the other one around Rhodey. The both of them had tears in their eyes, staring at the tearful reunion of the former S.H.I.E.L.D Agents.

They could do this, they will do this. They'll find a way to fix this. _Together_.

Clint lost his blood family but he still has his chosen one.

* * *

After Clint calmed down from his outburst about losing his family, his anger at them for bringing him to the Compound and his shock at seeing Coulson alive and well, he started apologizing to everyone, even to Agent Coulson.

Rhodey told him that they were okay but if he ever tries to give him a black eye again, he'll have War Machine give him a run for his money. Clint laughed and said that it was fair.

Natasha punched Clint and then she hugged him and asked him to never ever do that again to her, Clint hugged her and said that he'll try and apologized to her once again.

Agent Coulson told Clint that everything was fine between them, that what happened to him had been his choice and that it happened a long time ago. That he didn't blame him and that Clint needed to stop blaming himself about what happened, he didn't know what he was doing back then.

Clint turned to look at Steve, he looked ashamed. "Steve, I'm  so sorry about..." Clint started to said but Steve interrupted him. "It's okay." Steve said. "Really."

And it really was okay, grief is a such a horrible thing and it makes us do and say many things that we don't mean or regret immediately. Steve still remembers all the things he did and said when he lost his Ma or after he lost Bucky. He still remembers all the things the Howling Commandos did and said when they lost one of their own during the war.

Steve knew grief, had know it since he was very young, he knew that blame was one of the first things people do when they're mourning a loved one. They start by blaming themselves, then they blame whatever god they believe in, then they blame the whole world and whoever dares to step in their way.

Steve hugged his old friend tightly. "Everything is going to be fine, Clint. I promise." Clint nodded and sat between Coulson and Natasha.

The Avengers listening excitedly as Clint and Coulson caught up with their lives, listening to Coulson's adventures with his underground S.H.I.E.L.D and Clint's stories about his kids. Turns out, Coulson is the godfather of Lila. Apparently making his best friend and S.H.I.E.L.D Agent the godparent of his kid is a Clint thing.

When it started to get dark Natasha offered to cook dinner for them, she asked them what they would like to eat, Clint said that everything but Hot Dogs was fine with him, Natasha raised her eyebrows in surprise, she said that Hot Dogs were one of Clint's favorite food. Clint just shook his head and stared away from her. After a moment, Nat's eyes softened in understanding and said that she'll make spaghetti and meatballs for dinner. Bruce offered to help her and the both of them left.

Coulson left after dinner, promising to come visit soon and hugging Clint and Natasha one last time. After Coulson left it was time for clean up duty. Natasha and Bruce left for the common room because they were the ones who made dinner for them. Rocket started cleaning the table while Rhodey washed the dishes and Thor put them away in their rightful places, Steve gave some food to Sirius and took him for a walk. He also mopped the floor as soon as everyone was done.

When Steve finished he headed straight for the common room to look for his team, once again Steve found himself leaning in the doorway and looking at his teammates. Clint and Natasha were sitting together, Clint had his arm around Nat's shoulders and Natasha had her legs in Clint's lap. Rhodey was sprawled on a couch, Sirius was sleeping peacefully on top of Rhodey's belly. Bruce and Thor were sitting crossed legged on the floor. They were all looking at Rocket, who was on top of the coffee table, excitedly telling the team a story about the Guardians of the Galaxy. He was changing his voice accordingly, arms gesturing frantically. Everyone laughed when he started signing badly an 80s song that apparently was one of the favorites of a guy named Quill.

_What happened to us, Cap? Where did we go wrong?_ Tony's words suddenly invaded Steve's mind.

_I recorded a message for the Avengers._

_Show it to them._

Steve hadn't wanted to do this yet, he had wanted to keep that part of Tony close to his chest for a little while longer. Steve's dirty little secret. But Steve knew there was no time better than the present. Steve cleared his throat, everyone turned to look at him. "Hey, everyone. Sorry to interrupt this but do any of you mind joining me in the Superhero Closet in about twenty minutes?" Steve asked, Rhodey frowned, Natasha and Clint's expressions fell at the memory of Wanda. Thor, Bruce and Rocket just looked confused. Okay, maybe phrasing it like that hadn't been the best idea but Steve had been calling that room like that in his mind for days and it just slipped out.

"What for?" Rhodey asked. "Just trust me." Steve said.

His teammates nodded at him after a while. Rhodey left with Sirius in his arms, Natasha and Clint also left, not before sending some odd looks at Steve's way. Thor, Bruce and Rocket stayed behind to ask Steve where the 'Superhero Closet' was. Steve told them where to find the room and they left.

Steve found some chairs and beanbags and took them to the room. He started preparing the armor to play the message, stopping when the hologram of a keypad asking for a six digit code appeared in front of him.

_You'll know the password._

Steve hoped he was right about what he was thinking the password to be. Steve told F.R.I.D.A.Y to tell the others that he was ready for them.

Rocket was the first one to arrive, eyes going wide and bright at the sight of Tony's armor. He whistled loudly and tried to get closer to Iron Man but Steve stepped protectively in front of it and frowned at Rocket. The raccoon rolled his eyes at him and sat himself down on a beanbag in the corner of the room.

Natasha and Clint arrived next, both of them wearing sweetpants and tank tops. Nat's eyes went wide at the sight of Tony's armor and she narrowed her eyes at Steve, Clint stiffened at first but then he shook his head and put two beanbags together and gestured at Nat to sit down.

Bruce and Thor arrived right behind Nat and Clint, they were both curiously eyeing the room, Bruce eyes widened when he saw the armor but he said nothing and sat down on a chair, Thor sat down on the beanbag beside Rocket.

The last one to arrive was Rhodey, he glared at Steve when he saw Iron Man, he cursed under his breath and took a seat and crossed his arms, glaring daggers at Steve the whole time. Steve wondered if there was a message just for Rhodey. Or one just for Pepper or one just for Peter. Maybe there was a message just for Pepper, Rhodey, Peter, Happy and that woman named May and those kids from the List. A message only for Tony's family, a message where Steve and the Avengers weren't  mentioned at all because there was no place for them in Tony's family.

Once everyone settled down Steve cleared his throat and addressed his team. "A few days ago I found out that Tony left me a message. In his message, Tony told me that he also recorded a message for all of you, he asked me to show it to you." Saying Tony's name aloud had been hard, Steve just hoped that no one noticed how his voice wavered at Tony's name. Judging by the way his teammates were looking at him they clearly noticed. "Any questions?"

"When did you find out about this?" Rhodey asked. Steve sighed, _here we go_. "Sunday." Realization hit his teammates' eyes in a flash. The Avengers already figure it out that all the time Steve had disappeared on Sunday he spend it inside this room, listening to Tony's message. 

"If you found out about this messages on Sunday, then why show it to us now? Why not sooner?" Bruce asked. "I was waiting for Clint to get here." Steve replied. It wasn't a lie but it wasn't the whole truth either.

"Did you already heard this message?" Natasha asked. "I listened to mine but not this one, not yet."

"Are we going to listen to the message Stark left for you along with this one?" Thor asked.

"No." Steve answered. That message was his and no one else's. Tony recorded that message for Steve's eyes and ears only and no one was going to take that away from him.

"Is everyone ready?" They all nodded. Steve asked F.R.I.D.A.Y to dim the lights and turned to look at Iron Man. Steve sighed and put the code in the keypad. _Here goes nothing_.

050412, the day the Avengers were formed.

"Welcome, Avengers." The same mechanical voice from Sunday greeted them all. Steve sighed in relief and took a seat in the middle of the room, right in front of Iron Man, where he knew Tony would appear in a few moments.

"Playing message from Mr. Tony Stark." Suddenly the room was bathed in soft blue light and the holographic version of Tony started forming in front of their eyes little by little. Everyone gasped.

"Hey, everyone." Tony greeted. "You missed me?" Rhodey scoffed. "Okay, dumb question, of course you missed me." Tony said and everyone chuckled. _You_ _have no idea how much we miss you, Tony._ Steve thought.

"Reporting from Flying Space Doughnut over here." Rocket snorted. Once again, Tony explained what happened to him until he got to the point where he informed them that the alien was dead thanks to 'Spidey's pop culture references'. 

A surprised "They killed Ebony Maw?!" Was heard from Rocket, Thor's and Bruce's eyes widened in surprise then in amazement. Thor whopped and hugged Bruce while sending a thumbs up to Tony.

"Well, that has been my little space adventure so far." Tony continue, Rhodey shook his head, clearly knowing that there was more to the story than just that. "I got a million things to say and not a lot of time, I got a lot of apologies to make and no time at all, so I'll try and be quick."

"I don't really know who's going to be listening to this message so I'll start with the original six." Bruce, Nat, Clint, Thor and Steve stiffened, wondering who Tony would address first.

"Agent Romanoff, you missed me?" Tony asked and Natasha smiled sadly at Tony's hologram. "You and I met first, remember?" Nat nodded. "We didn't met in the best of circumstances, damn Fury. But we still managed to leave an impression on each other."

"Nat, I want to tell you that I don't blame you for anything or judge you for what you did in Germany. I can't do that because I kind of also did the same. Honestly, a part of me was expecting it but not because of what I told you back then, I'm very sorry about that by the way. I was too worried about Rhodey, too angry at Cap, too confused and disappointed at everything that was going on and I took all my frustration on you, I'm so sorry about that, Nati. Truly."

"Oh, Shellhead." Natasha said softly with tears in her eyes.

Even after all these years Steve still didn't know what happened that day between Tony and Natasha. Steve still remembers the day they dropped off Clint at his farm and found Natasha there playing with Clint's kids. Steve had felt so guilty about that, Natasha was there because of him. She had to run and hide because of Steve and Bucky. Steve tried to apologize when Nat asked them for a ride but she only shook her head and said that what she did had been her choice and not to blame Tony about what happened to her. "What I did was wrong in the eyes of many people, he realized he couldn't protect me so he gave me a chance to run." She had said and left to go say goodbye to the Bartons.

"I was expecting it because like I said before you and I met first but you had always been closer to Cap. I don't blame you for that, he has that effect on people. Besides, he's Captain America, he says jump and people don't even ask how high they just jump." Yeah and it took Steve more than seventy years to figure that out. "Besides, I know I always lose you in the divorces." Natasha chuckled. Steve wondered what that meant.

"Take care of our family, Nat. Don't let this idiots start fighting and arguing with each other about stupid things. Put them in their places and remind them who they are. Hit Cap hard in the head when he starts being too stubborn for his own good." Tony said and Natasha turned to look at him with mischief in her eyes. Steve shook his head, leave it to Tony to give permission to the most deadly member of their team to hit Steve when he starts being too stubborn, which according to a lot of people was all the time.

"I might never come back from this trip but don't feel bad about this alright? Last birthday I did whatever I wanted to with whoever I wanted to do it and it was great. I hope you did the same." Natasha smiled sadly at Tony, Steve wondered what Tony's words meant to her. "I know I'm leaving them in good hands, I know redheads are badass and you had always been my second favorite redhead." Natasha touched her blonde her and smiled sadly, probably missing her fiery red hair.

"Hey, Bruciebear." Tony addressed Bruce next. Bruce smiled sadly at Tony. "Man, I can't believe I just saw you this morning, you haven't changed at all! What's your secret, Banner. Spill." Tony said and Bruce laughed at Tony's antics. Steve always thought that Tony was aging backwards.

"I really missed you, Big Green. I missed my Science Bro." Tony said while mimicking a fist bump that Bruce returned. Steve couldn't help the little flash of jealousy that little gesture sparked inside him. He had always been envious of the friendship Tony and Bruce shared. "A lot of things have happened since you left, I hope someone already explained everything to you. If so, you and the Green Giant probably wanna go a few rounds with us, huh?"

"Bruce, with me gone you're the next big mind on the team, take care of this idiots, alright? Don't let this crazyheads do anything stupid and don't let them get close to my Sanctuary." Bruce smiled at Tony and promised him that he won't let anyone get inside Tony's lab. "I really missed you, buddy. There are so many things I wanted to show you, I wanted you to meet someone very special to me, I wanted you to go to my wedding. I wanted to spend hours and hours in the labs with you but it seems that we're not that lucky, huh? I hope you and the Green Bean over there fixed your thing. The Avengers are going to need the Hulk, yes. But they're going to need Bruce Banner more. Take care of yourself, Bruce. And take care of the Hulk. Have patience with him." Bruce wiped some tears away and smiled at Tony's hologram.

"Hey, Point Break." Thor rolled his eyes at the nickname but smiled at Tony anyway. "Bruce said that you were gone but I don't believe that. You're a god, you're invincible! Bruce also told me about what happened to you. I'm sorry about Asgard, I'm sorry about your people, I'm sorry about your father and I'm sorry about Loki." Shock, surprise and sadness mixed together in Thor's eyes and face.

That was probably the first time someone told him 'I'm sorry about Loki' since Thanos killed the god of Mischief. Steve felt bad about that. Loki wasn't the best person in the Universe but he was still Thor's brother and family was family. Loki was also manipulated by Thanos. Besides, everyone makes mistakes.

"Thor, out of all of us you probably have the better chance at killing Thanos, probably have the most motivation too. But even if you don't manage to kill that son of a bitch and avenge your people, don't feel bad about it, alright? No one is going to blame you or judge you and if they do then show them the other cheek and turn around. For the past six years, Thanos has been inside my head, don't let him get inside yours. Don't let him get inside the head of anyone else. And if there is a small chance out there to fix whatever Thanos is planning to do, if there is a small chance out there to avenge everything and everyone you lost then go ahead and take it, Big Guy. I believe in you, Thor. And I know you can do this. You're unbreakable, Big Guy. Don't let me down." Thor nodded and Steve swore that a spark of electricity went all over the room, like a promise.

"Hey, Clint." Clint froze, Natasha held his hand and smiled reassuringly at him. "So, the last time you and I saw each other we both did and said some hurtful things. I gotta be honest with you, man. When I saw you in Germany I was very surprised. I never understood why you were in Cap's team, I never even undertood why Cap called you. I mean there is a reason why Natasha and I didn't called you. You were retired, man. You have a wife and kids. You got lucky, Clint. You got the easy way out, why didn't you just enjoyed it? You got a family, man. And family comes first, no matter who and no matter what. That also goes for Scott Lang in case the Little Big Dude is there with y'all." Everyday, _everyday_ Steve regretted calling Clint and Scott that day. Maybe, just maybe if he hadn't been so compromised then he would have found out sooner that everything was a trap.  _Best strategists of all time._ What a joke.

"I don't know if you and your family are going to be affected by whatever Thanos does, if you are then I'm so sorry, man. You're wife and kids didn't deserve that. Clint, I know what grief does to people, if something happens to your family, don't lose yourself. Don't go so far that you'll forget who you are and what you fight for. Your family doesn't deserve that. Your kids think their dad is a hero, well then, show them how much of a hero you truly are. Go and show Thanos how much damage a bunch of wooden arrows can do." Guilt and determination filled Clint's eyes.

"Lang and Barton, I got a mission for you. Out of all of us, you two are probably the only ones who truly know what a family is, what a family truly means. Show this idiots what it means, please."

"Also for Scott Lang, next time don't judge a book by its cover and don't believe everything people say about other people. Also, learn to say no to some guy wearing a flag and enjoy your family."

Steve knew he was next and he had been mentally preparing himself since Tony started talking with Clint.

"Hey, Cap." Tony said and everyone stiffened. _Come_ _on_ , it's not like he and Tony hate each other's guts. They have their moments. "I got a billion things to say to you, I'll probably record a message just for you and be done with it. I hope Ross is not giving you any trouble." _You have no idea, Tony. You have no idea_. Tony smirked, the little shit. "So, the last time we saw each other was a little intense." _That's one way to put it, Tony._

"I'm not going to say I'm sorry, I'm not ready for that, not yet anyway. What I'm going to say is you win, alright? The Avengers are yours, Steve. They have always been in case you haven't figure that out. Protect them and take care of them, they're going to need you, they're going to need a leader, a Captain and that's you. They're going to need guidance and no one is better for that job than you. We broke our family apart once and now it's time to put them back together. It's time to show Thanos who the Avengers are and what they can do. It's time to show Thanos what we're made of. Good luck, Steve." Tony smiled directly at him. Steve could feel the eyes of his teammates on him but he ignored them and returned Tony's smile.

"Hey, Rhodeybear." Rhodey started to cry as soon as Tony started talking to him, all the emotions he had been holding for twelve days coming out of him in minutes. "My Rhodey, you have been there for me through everything, come hell or high water you have been there for me. You have taught me many things, Rhodey. You have seen me at my best and you have seen me at my worst and you stuck with me until the very end and I don't even know why. You're a fucking saint, Rhodey. You really are and I love you for it. I really do."

"You're my brother, Rhodey. You're my family. I don't know what I'll do without you. I'll probably be dead if it weren't for you. When everyone thought I was dead you spend months on a desert looking for me and I'll never forget that, I don't even know how to repay you for that, nothing can beat that, nothing. I know I promised you that next time you'll ride with me but maybe that's just not how things are meant to be, maybe I was always meant to ride alone." Rhodey shook his head and wiped his tears away but it was no use more tears kept coming down.

"Promise me that you'll take care of Pepper for me. Don't let her put her life and on hold because of me. Promise me you'll take care of Peter, don't let that kid drown himself in grief. Take care of Happy and May, tell her that I'm sorry I couldn't be there for her like I promised I would. Take care of the kids, guide them in the right direction for me. And take care of yourself, Rhodey. You gotta be strong, man. You gotta be strong for the both of us. I'm gonna miss you so much, Honeybunches. I love you, Rhodey. Don't forget that, never forget." Tony said, his brown eyes looked so sad. So devastated.

"I love you too, Tones. I love you too, kid." Rhodey whispered, he was practically sobbing now. Natasha got up from her seat and hugged Rhodey while Bruce rubbed Rhodey's back. Steve understood what Rhodey must be going through right now. Tony and Rhodey were to each other what Bucky and Steve were to one another. Brothers united by everything but blood. United by everything that truly matters.

Tony cleared his throat after a while. "Vision and Wanda. You know kids, if you thought you were fooling me then think again because you weren't fooling me, like at all. Listen kids, I know it's hard to believe but I was young once and I also fell in love, ask Rhodey if you don't believe me. I also did some very crazy and stupid things for those loves, again ask Rhodey if you don't believe me. Or better yet, don't ask him. Don't believe anything he says." Rhodey laughed softly and said that there were no take backs.

"Anyway, what I'm trying to say is, I know a thing or two about being young and in love. I don't blame you guys for this, true be told I actually admire you two. The two of you managed to find love during a war, you two managed to keep that love alive while the whole world told you no and tried to separate you. While your family and friends were divided and mad at each other and that kids? That takes courage. I admire that."

"I know your love is going to be affected by Thanos and I'm sorry about that, your love is beautiful and doesn't deserve this but if somehow after all this mess is done and you guys get a second chance then go for it kids, forget about the Avengers and go for it, you guys deserve that second chance, you guys deserve to be happy. If there is one thing life has taught me is that you gotta fight for what you believe in, you gotta fight for what you want, you gotta fight for what you love because you never know when your last day on Earth is going to be. So forget about all of this and go live your life and love to the fullest." Sad smiles greeted Tony's words. All of them remembering Vision and Wanda and knowing how much Tony's words would have meant to them.

"To Sam Wilson, I'm sorry about what happened in Germany, I'm sorry for blaming you about what happened to Rhodey. Look, Rhodey doesn't blame you, so I shouldn't blame you either. Like I said before, Rhodey is a saint, he has always been the better man out of the two of us and I don't deserve him. But you gotta understand that seeing him fall like that and not being able to save him, after all the times Rhodey has saved me. Thinking that I'll lose him like that and then seeing him in that wheelchair was hard for me and I took it out on you and I'm sorry about that. They're going to need you, Sam. Not just as the Falcon but also as Sam Wilson. So, welcome back to the Avengers, I guess." Once again Steve wished Sam was here so he could listen to Tony's words. By the look in Nat's face, she was also wishing the same.

"Hey, Spiderling." Tony smiled brightly. "I don't really know if you're there, I don't really think that you are but I gotta hope that you are because if I don't have hope then I don't have nothing.  I know your powers, I know you're potential, I know all of that. But even after all that, I'm gonna do everything in my power and more to protect you and I'll probably died for it. If that happens, please, _please_ don't blame yourself. I don't want you to blame yourself, kid. I know this isn't what you wanted and I'm sorry I can be there for you like I promised."

"I know you're going to be fine, I know you're gonna get through this. You can do this, kid. Once this Thanos mess is over, forget about the Avengers, alright? Forget about the big leagues for a time and go back to being a Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man, look out for the little guys, they need you more. Remember what I told you, kid. Once I'm gone the whole world is going to turn around and look at you and ask you to be the next Iron Man. The world is going to think they need an Iron Man because that's the only thing the world has know for many years but what they need is you. You're gonna be better than me, kid. Better than Cap, better than anyone in this room, I know it. You're going to be the greatest Superhero the world has ever seen. You're the future, kid. I love you."

Not for the first time Steve wondered what was the story between Tony and Spider-Man. Steve remembers what Nat had said when he asked her about the spider themed hero. Natasha said that she didn't know much about the guy, that Tony had only said that he was a hero from New York and that he had some great powers, Natasha at first thought that Tony had been talking about Daredevil. Natasha also told him that Tony had been very excited to meet the hero. "You should had seen him, Steve. His eyes light up and he smiled, a real smile, Steve. I have never seen him like that, he was so excited to finally meet him, he had clearly been just looking for an excuse to go talk to him" Natasha had said, eyes bright.

Steve still remembers that day at the airport. How excited Tony had been to show Spider-Man off, how proud he had been of him. How even though they were in the middle of a battle the both of them found time to joke and lose themselves in their own little world. He still remembers how they had been draw to each other like magnets, how good they had worked together and followed each other's lead without question. He remembers how excited Spider-Man had been to be working with Tony. In just those small flashed Steve could see that Spider-Man and Tony had something special between them.

Steve had been jealous back then about all of that, he kind of still was, he had always wanted that with Tony and here this guy came out of nowhere and had all of that with Tony so effortlessly and in so little time when even after years of working together he and Tony still couldn't agree on anything.

"To everyone who is joining us to fight Thanos, welcome to the Avengers, I hope we don't disappoint you." Tony continued. "Avengers, it's time to work for a living. This is our fight, this is our time. This is the reason why we fight, this is the reason why we became heroes, the reason why we became Avengers."

"We swore to the people out there that we'll protect them, that we'll defend them, that we'll avenge them. Well, it's time to do our jobs and show everyone out there that we keep our promises."

"Yes, the people out there are not going to understand at first but we need to make them understand. We need to show them that we lost people too, we need to show them that they're not alone. That we'll find a way to fix this. We need to  show them that it's not about how much we lost but about how much we have left and what we can do with it."

"Thanos thinks we're afraid of him, well it's time to show him that we're not. We need to show him that if he takes something from us, we take everything away from him. That if he kills one of our own, then we kill his whole army. We need to show him if he's bad, then we're worse. Yes, it is that easy and yes it is that simple. Because this is our world, not Thanos'. The name written in the horizon is ours, not his."

"The world is in our hands and we gotta do something with it because if we don't then no one else will. People always tell me that the only thing I fight for is myself and of course I fight for myself because if I don't, then no is going to. I either stay there and die or I get up and save myself."

"Avengers, it's time to live up to our name. This is our Hail Mary, this is our last Hurrah. It's all our nothing. We gotta do whatever it takes to fix this." Steve could see that Tony's words were working like a charm. There was a new spark in the Avengers' eyes. A spark that wasn't there before, a spark that dimed during their war and died when Thanos snapped his fingers. A new hope had been born in the Avengers and it was burning brightly.

"One last thing before I go. When Thanos wins because he's going to win, we all know that. When he wins don't blame one another, I know is easy to point fingers and start fights and disagreements about stupid and meaningless things but don't do it. Don't ruin great friendships and relationships just because you're hurt, or angry, or afraid. In times like this we need to be together, we need to be united. Look at me and Cap."

"Steve and I  spend so much time fighting and arguing with each other about stupid things. We ruined something that could have been great before it even had a chance to become great. Look at us, we both need to apologize to each other for so many things but I might never come back from this trip and he might not even be there with you all. We might never get a chance to apologize. Do you really want to lose a friend like that?" Tony asked and all of them shook their heads, looking guilty.

"Besides, our enemies always win the battles but we always win the wars." Tony winked at them. "Good luck, Avengers. Don't let me down. Goodbye, my friends." With that Tony was gone in flash of blue light.

Steve looked at his team, sadness and determination were mixed together in their eyes. Steve smiled. "You heard the man, Avengers. Time to work for a living."

 

**_Day Thirteen_ **

 

_In his dream Steve was skinny again, he was on that same room Wanda showed him all those years ago. The scene was almost the same, the Howling Commandos were there, they were laughing and drinking. Bucky was also there, along with General Phillips and Dr. Erskine. Peggy and Howard were dancing on the dance floor, they were both laughing._

_Nobody seemed to notice Steve._

_Steve looked around the room, until his eyes landed on a familiar uniform and shield. Captain America was sitting alone in a table in the corner of the room. Steve walked towards whoever was wearing his uniform, he tapped the man on the shoulder. The uniform and the shield turned to dust as soon as he touched it._

What makes you happy? _Sam's voice asked._

I never fit in anywhere. _Steve's voice said._

That shield doesn't belong to you, you don't deserve it. _Tony's voice said._

I'm not Captain America anymore, I'm just a Nomad. _Steve's voice said._

_Steve looked at the room again, Peggy along with others had become old. Dr. Erskine and some of the Howling Commandos that died during battle had bullet holes and other injures all over their bodies. Bucky turned into the Winter Soldier, he had Howard's dead body at his feet._

_"Who are you?" Peggy asked._

_"I wanted you to be a good man." Dr. Erskine said._

_"You were supposed to protect us!" The dead Howling Commandos shouted._

_"Look at him. Howard admired you, just like his son did but you failed them both just like you failed me." Bucky said._

_"You can't live without a war." They all said in unison. Suddenly everyone turned to dust._

_Steve found himself in a room full of mirrors. Steve looked at himself in one mirror and he looked normal, he was still short and skinny, but normal nonetheless. He looked at another one and he was Captain America again. In one mirror Steve was very tall, in another, he was really fat. In another one he was even shorter and skinnier than now._

_In one mirror Steve was old, that's where Dr. Erskine found him. When the Doctor looked at the mirror it didn't show his reflection or a funny version of his reflection. It showed him the success of his children and grandchildren, thanks to Dr. Erskine's success with Captain America and the Super-Soldier Serum many doors where opened to his family. "During the war all I ever wanted was for my family to be safe and for them to grow up in a world where their minds were accepted and respected. All of that is now possible thanks to you." Dr. Erskine said and smiled at Steve. "Thank you, Steven."_

_"You're welcome, Dr. Erskine." The mirror shattered and it revealed a door, Dr. Erskine pointed at Steve's chest and stepped inside, Steve looked inside. It lead straight to Dr. Erskine's grave, where his grandchildren and their kids were visiting the Doctor's grave._

_Steve kept walking through the mirror room, he stopped when he found a mirror where Steve was dressed in a tuxedo, he was tall and built in his reflection. He also had a well trimmed beard. Howard Stark found him there. Just like with Dr. Erskine when Howard looked in the mirror it didn't show his reflection. It was showing flashes of Howard's future. First, it showed Howard's success with Stark Industries, then it showed them Howard's success with S.H.I.E.L.D._

_Then it showed them a young woman signing softly and playing the piano while an older version of Howard watched with a smile on his face. "She's beautiful." Howard said, Steve nodded. He could tell that the woman was a younger version of Maria Stark, Howard's future wife and Tony's mother._

_The mirror then showed them Howard holding a newborn Tony while Maria smiled at them. Howard turned to look at Steve when the image froze. "He doesn't know it yet but one day he's going to change the world but I won't be able to be there for him when it happens, promise me that you'll be there for him. Promise me that you'll guide him and help him."_

_"I promise." Howard smiled at him. "Thank you, Steve." He said and the mirror shattered, just like before it became a door. Howard opened the door and stepped inside a room where Maria Stark was teaching a young Tony how to play the piano._

_Steve kept walking, he found a mirror where he was still short and skinny but in the mirror he was wearing the same outfit he wore when he took the serum. Peggy found him there. Just like with the others, Steve found himself looking at Peggy's future when she looked at the mirror._

_The mirror showed them first Peggy as Director of S.H.I.E.L.D, then it showed them Peggy in a wedding dress laughing and dancing with a man Steve recognized as Daniel Sousa, Peggy's future husband and the father of her children. The mirror then showed them Peggy laughing and playing with her kids in a garden. Steve smiled, Peggy did too._

_"I look happy." She said. "Was I happy? Did I had a good life?" She asked._

_"The best." Steve said and she did, she really did. She had a successful career, she married a man she loved and had wonderful and beautiful children that became very successful adults, she died old and happy._ One of the lucky ones _, they used to said around his old neighborhood during the 30s._

_"Then let me go, Steve. It's time, let me rest in peace." She pleaded with Steve. "It's okay, Steve. I will always love you, but you have to let me go. You deserve to be happy, just like me. Let me go."_

_"Okay." Steve said with tears in his eyes. "I will always love you too." Peggy kissed his cheek as the mirror shattered. "Thank you, Steve." She smiled and opened her door, she disappeared into a park where her kids and husband where laughing and playing._

_In the next mirror that caught his attention, Steve looked like a little kid. Steve knew who he was going to find here as soon as he saw the kid version of himself. "Hey, punk." Bucky greeted him and looked at the mirror._

_Bucky, just like Peggy and Howard was the 1940s version of himself. He was the old Bucky. He was his Bucky. Not the Soldier or the Bucky that turned to dust._

_In the mirror Bucky was in Wakanda laughing with the kids and feeding the animals, the image changed and it showed them Bucky fighting besides Sam in his Falcon suit. The image changed again and it showed them Bucky laughing and dancing with Natasha._

Bucky and Nat, huh? _Well, Steve never saw that one coming. They looked great together, though._

_"I look happy, you think I'll be happy?" Bucky asked him._

_"You will be, the happiest man in the world." Steve promised._

_"You know, punk. Back when we were young we always knew that our paths would separate sooner or later. Why can't you let me go?"_

_"Bucky..."_

_"No matter where I am, no matter where you are, you will always be my best friend, my brother. No matter what. I'm with you until the end of the line. Let me be happy, Steve."_

_"Okay." Bucky smiled at him._

_"Don't do anything stupid until I get back."_

_"How can I? You're taking all the stupid with you." Bucky hugged him goodbye as the mirror shattered. Behind Bucky's door was Natasha, she smiled and hugged Bucky, they both waved goodbye at Steve as the door closed and disappeared._

_In the next mirror Steve found out that he was Captain America again. His uniform was one he didn't recognize, it looked modern and new. The blue was so dark, it looked black. The star was silver instead of white. The material looked like scale mail. The Avengers' 'A' was back in his arm, indicating that he was their Captain and leader. He also had his shield back. Steve also noticed that the Steve in the mirror looked older, he even had some gray hairs._

_Sam joined him after a while. "Look." He said and pointed at the mirror. Steve expected to see Sam's future like with the others but instead he saw_ his _future._

_The first image that Steve saw was of himself as Captain America, fighting alongside Sam and Bucky. The second image was clearly a party in the Compound. The Avengers were there. Natasha and Bucky were at the bar, laughing and drinking. Carol Danvers was excitedly talking with Rhodey. Clint and Laura were serving everyone food. Wanda and Vision were sitting in a couch holding hands. Sam was talking with T'Challa. Rocket was with a group of people Steve didn't recognize. Thor and Bruce were talking with a woman Steve didn't know. Scott was talking with Hope van Dyne. There were many people there. Okoye, Doctor Strange, the wizard Wong. Pepper and Happy. There were also the kids like Shuri, those kids from the List. Cassie Lang, the Bartons, some twin boys, Steve didn't recognize. There were so many people there, some Steve recognize, some Steve didn't._

_Steve looked around the room until he found himself, he was sitting on a table with Tony and Peter Parker, eating cheeseburgers while Sirius barked excitedly at them. Everyone was happy, everyone was laughing and smiling. Steve felt so happy._

_The image changed and Steve found himself staring at a room he didn't recognize. Tony and Steve stepped inside the room, they were laughing._

_"What makes you happy?" Sam asked, Steve still remembers what his answer had been the first time Sam made that question_. Not this time.

_Steve smiled and pointed at the mirror. "This makes me happy." He replied._

_Sam smiled. "Then go for it, Steve." Sam hugged him goodbye as the mirror shattered._

_Steve put his hand on the door handle and wondered what he'll find inside._

_The first thing Steve noticed about the room was that it was very cold. The second thing he noticed was that it was snowing. There was a wall of ice in the middle of the room. In the other side of the ice was sunny, the grass was green, the trees were full of fruits and flowers. Tony was also there. Wearing a red suit with a gold tie._ Iron Man colors. _Steve started punching the ice but his skinny arms did nothing to it._

_Tony smiled at him and put his right hand over the ice, the ice shattered. As the ice shattered, Steve became tall and built again, his white outfit changed into a blue suit and a red tie._ Captain America's colors.

_"Hey, Steve." Tony smiled at him. "Welcome, home." Steve hugged Tony tightly and buried his head in Tony's neck. Steve breathed him in. Tony smelled like metal, fire and motor oil. He also smelled like his fancy cologne._

_He smelled like home._

* * *

Steve woke up with a gasp, Steve realized that his face was wet. He had been crying in his sleep. Steve checked the time, 4:45 a.m.

Steve sighed and prepared to go for a run.

When Steve came back from his run he found Thor sitting on a bench outside the Compound, he was looking at the stars that were still visible.

Steve sat down beside him and wished him good morning, Thor greeted him and continue to look at the stars. Steve wondered what the stars meant to Thor, what the god sees when he looks at the sky.

Steve also wondered if Thor couldn't sleep or if he had a nightmare. Maybe the god was waiting for his people. 

_I'm sorry about Loki._

"Tell me about your brother." Steve told Thor. The god turned to look at him in disbelief. Thor searched Steve's face and whatever he was looking for, Steve guessed he found it because the god smiled at him and started telling him stories about when he and Loki were young.

After having breakfast and a shower, Steve remembered his dream. Steve looked around the Compound for an envelope and a lighter. Once he found it, Steve went back to his room. He looked for his compass and took Peggy's picture out of it, he took one of the pictures of the Howling Commandos and one of his drawings about Dr. Erskine and Howard Stark. He put them inside the envelope and headed for the lake.

Once in there Steve sent some prayers to the dead and set the envelope on fire, he sprawled the ashes over the lake.

Steve is always going love Peggy, he would always remember the old Bucky with fondess and sadness. Dr. Erskine, Howard Stark and the Howling Commandos would always have a special place in his heart. But it was time to let the dead rest in peace. That was the only proper funeral Steve could give them after all this time.

It was time to let them go.

It was time to say goodbye to his past.

It was time to move on.

It was time to start anew.

When Steve came back to the Compound and joined his team in their activities for the day, he felt lighter. Somehow happier.

"Captain Rogers?" F.R.I.D.A.Y asked after a few hours.

"Yes, F.R.I.D.A.Y?"

"Captain Marvel has just entered the atmosphere."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, cliffhanger, don't hate me.
> 
> Notes, notes, notes!
> 
> What did you thought about Sirius? Do you think he misses Tony and Peter or maybe he knows something the others don't?
> 
> So, Clint is back, what did you thought about him? So, I have seen a lot of people giving crap to Tony for his 'You weren't there' scene and I don't really get it that was one of the most in character scenes in the whole fucking movie. It was scene that had been building territory since Age of Ultron. Let me tell you something, when someone loses a loved one. Truly loses them, like in an accident or to a diseased one of the first things that they do is blame. Blame people, blame god, blame themselves is what they do. So yes it makes sense for Clint and Tony to have an outburst and blame whoever dares to step in their way.
> 
> What did you thought about Tony's message for the Avengers? Did you like it? Don't like it, was something missing? Too much?
> 
> By the way, in case you're wondering, yes. Tony recorded a message for his family. Pepper has it, Rhodey knows about it but he hasn't seen it because he's busy with the Avengers.
> 
> What did you thought about Steve's dream and goodbye?
> 
> So, I don't know if you guys noticed this but this story has been added to a new series. Called The Promiseverse (super original, I know). Which means that I changed my original ending and now this story is going to have sequels/spin offs you can find them there.
> 
> So, according to my draft this beast is going to be 33 chapters long, I'll try and make it shorter but I make no promises.
> 
> See you soon!


	8. A New Promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> New update! (Yes, I'm still alive)

Hey guys!

So... I know I haven't updated this story for more than a month now and I'm so sorry that this isn't a new chapter but I have some great news for you.

THIS STORY IS NOT GOING TO BE ABANDONED.

I repeat.

_**This story is NOT going to be abandoned.** _

Many, many things happened to me since the last time I posted. I lost my job, I moved to a new house, my car broke down, I got a new job, among other crazy things. It was wild and crazy there for a while. So I didn't really had time to write new chapters or edit the ones that were already written and I'm so very sorry about that.

I love this story guys and I want to share it with you.

So, moving on...

A few days ago, I finally got time to sit down for a while and think long and hard about this story and boom! Something amazing happened.

The idea for this story came to me in a dream after marathoning the MCU two weeks before watching Avengers: Endgame. I originally started writing this story in Tony's POV. After watching Endgame, I thought that it would make more sense in Steve's POV. That's why 'A Promise To You And The Universe' is in Steve's POV.

While going through my notes for this story I realized that some things didn't made sense and that the story was too long. The story was 35 chapters long. I edited it and I got 30, still too long. I edited it again and I got 20, I thought that was fine but I wasn't satisfied with it. Next edit turned into 15. I thought: Perfect!

But then as I was re-reading the chapters that were already written (+ the ones that were already posted on AO3) I thought: Hey, how about I combine some chapters, make them longer and see what I get?

That turned the story into 12 chapters. That turned to be exactly what I was looking for.

So this is what's going to happen. Like I said before this story is not going to be abandoned but it's going to be moved to a new post.

Title: ** _A_ _Promise To You And The Universe (rewrite)_** (link coming soon).

The new story is going to be 12 chapters long. 6 of them are going to be posted on Tuesday, July 30.

 

 ** _Chapter One: Blood and Dust:_** An edited and rewrited version of chapters 1 and 2 (The Call + Blood and Dust) of the original 'A Promise To You And The Universe'. Some things are going to be changed, some things are going to be deleted and some new things are coming. A big surprise is coming in this new version of chapters one and two. A BIG surprise.

 ** _Chapter Two: Avenge The Fallen:_** An edited and rewrited version of chapters 3 and 4 (Avenge Them + A Week of Suffering) of the original 'A Promise To You And The Universe'. Again, some things are added some are changed/deleted.

 ** _Chapter Three: The Confession:_** An edited and rewrited version of chapters 5 and 6 (The Confession + A Goodbye and A Mission) of the orginal 'A Promise To You And The Universe'. Once again some things are gonna be changed/deleted.

 ** _Chapter Four: Protect, Defend, Avenge:_** An edited and rewrited version of chapter 7 (Team Means Family) of the original 'A Promise To You And The Universe'. Some things are changed/deleted.

**_Chapter Five: The Survivors and The Fallen: New Chapter #1. (Coming July 30)_ **

**_Chapter Six: Legends Never Die: New Chapter #2 (Coming July 30)_ **

**_Chapter Seven: My Life, My Future, My Legacy: New Chapter #3 (Coming soon)_ **

**_Chapter Eight: The Soldier and The Mechanic: New Chapter #4 (Coming soon)_ **

**_Chapter Nine: The Hunters or The Prey: New Chapter #5 (Coming soon)_ **

**_Chapter Ten: The Powers of The Universe: New Chapter #6 (Coming soon)_ **

**_Chapter Eleven: Last Vengeance: New Chapter #7 (Coming soon)_ **

**_Chapter Twelve: End of the Path: New Chapter #8 (Coming soon)_ **

 

So, there you have it guys, I'm giving you the titles of the chapters as previews of what's to come. I really hope you enjoy the new direction this story is taking. Some things stayed the same, some things didn't and like I said before a BIG suprise is coming in the new Chapter One.

Also, coming soon is  ** _'A Promise: The Playlist'_** where I show you and explain to you what songs inspired and helped write this story. As a matter of fact, here's the new song for **_Chapter One: Blood and Dust._**

**_[\- String Theory by Les Friction -](https://youtu.be/_jBdQk244ec) _ **

I'm so very sorry for making you wait until the 30th. But I really hope you like the New Promise. The OG Promise is going to be deleted two weeks after the New Promise is posted. Next time I post in here is going to be July 30 and is going to be the link for the New Promise.

You can ask me anything in the comments. Tell me if you are excited about the New Promise, tell me what you think about the titles of the new chapters. What do you think those titles mean? What do you think is the BIG surprise? What do you think about String Theory?

See you, July 30!

P.S. - Mark the date. -

\- N. Phoenix :)


End file.
